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EMT/Referal Meeting for DS advice please!

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 4:16 PM
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Hi ladies!

I am so happy to have found this group.  I feel like I have learned a ton, AND had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders in the last two weeks!

Anyhow, back on task... My DS (6)  is scheduled for an Educational Managment Team (the pre-referal/intervention/etc meeting) meeting next Monday per my request.  DS has clinical diagnosis of ADHD -combined and Social Function Disorder/ probable Aspergers.  I really want to make sure he gets any/all help he qualifies for, but I also know it may be a challenge to frame is needs as EDUCATIONAL needs when academically he is actually advanced.

My big concerns at school are:

-He gets picked on/ bullied pretty easily.  The school is handling a known issue on the buss, but DS doesn't ever REPORT stuff (other kids have to tell) so I'm not sure that's the extent of it.

-He gets overstimulated by classroom business and then can't work.

-He gets very anxious about other children in his space, and has a much larger area of personal space than most people.  If classmates are close to him he can't focus on ANYTHING other than making sure they don't get any closer.

-He hates surprises, so things that are intended to be TREATS or REWARDS for other kids just cause him stress. (ie "If you do well for the substitute I have a surprise for you on Friday."... he would rather NOT do well and NOT get the surprise)

-He does not have the skills (yet) to work cooperatively with other students.

-He takes things VERY litteraly, so often misunderstands directions or is inadvertently defiant.  He doesn't read cues well, so doesn't pick up on teacher non-verbals that would tell him he's doing something wrong.

-He doesn't know what to do with free-time, so he spends recess standing alone or asks to go to the nurse.

What advice do you ladies have for me going into this meeting?

They are bringing the whole team : admin, school psych, counselor, teachers, special ed teacher, etc

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 4:16 PM
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by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:35 PM
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omg it is like you just wrote about my son with Aspergers. Matthew is 12 and is advanced in many areas acedemicallly but becuause of his dx, he gets accomodations while he still completes standardized work.

I requested my son be in a co taught classroom so there is always a teacher that undrstands his needs and can help him. He gets pragmatic language and conversation therapy to help him understand how to converse and make friends. He gets OT to help with his hand eye cooridination problems. He gets to take important tests in a smaller quieter area. He rides a special needs bus where no one will bully him. He see the conselor once a week to ensure everthing is going well at school. His desk space is created with his sensory issues in mind. He has a behaviorial plan to help the teacher understand how to handle things that bother him.

The list you have above is great to take into the meeting. Tell them you would like accomodations on each point. Give suggestions and listen to theirs. If you don't know what your rights are google Wrights law and read about them.

I have found my school system has been willing to work with me to help my son be as mainstreamed as possible without causing him undo stress and while not compromising his educaton,

I always take a list like yours with enough copies for each person. We go through the list point by point.. I don't sign off till I think they have a working solution for each issue.

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 8:26 PM

Thank you!  Taking a list is a great idea.  I am definitely going to do that!

It seems like a 504 plan should be able to address everything but the pragmatic language issues. 

Should I push for the full eval., or just focus on getting the best working 504 we can?

Anything else I should think of ahead of time or take in with me?  So far his school has been VERY supportive, they've handled bullying etc.  His principal wrote a nice email about how she's so proud of him and loves having him at the school and wants to make sure we program for his success, I just hope that that continues to be true in action as well as words. 

by on May. 7, 2012 at 4:13 PM
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Ahhhhhh, finally a sigh of relief!  I just wanted to share with you mama's because I know you'll understand.

So we met for the EMT...

Meeting went well, and I was really happy with how MUCH everyone involved knew, understood, and liked about him!  I'm really happy with his school.

We wrote a 504 plan that I think will do well to carry over the strategies his AMAZING kindergarten teacher has been using with him, as well as added some support for lunchtime and recess time socializing.  The counselor is going to start a "friendship group" for some adult-lead peer interaction to help him get more involved during those free-times where he gets overwhelmed and just sits by himself.

He's also going to be allowed to wear headsets in class when he's completing independent work, keep his assigned seats always on the edge (rather than surrounded by people), and have an extra desk away from the group he can choose to move to.

He'll also get adjusted work-load or alternate assessment of the academic content when the task involves social interaction (ie group work) and the goal in those situations will be focussed on turn-taking and appropriate cooperative work.  They reported that he's at least two grade levels ahead in all academic areas, so that really frees him/them up to work on the social stuff in class which is great (as long as they keep assigning him teacher who "get him.")

So nice to have a real plan in place and on paper and not feel like I'm at the mercy of whatever people figure out and/or are willing to do.

by Emma on May. 7, 2012 at 4:28 PM
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Sounds like me and my son - were both in the process of being diagnosed.

I agree with rogue's posts, but also want to let you know - that making it to adult hood gives the opperunity for a full life - I'm a mother of 2 kids and happily married. My husband created an environment where I can thrive because I was worth it to him as a partner and he was patient and understanding about my quirks. ;)

So, now that I did my "your kid can live a good life" spew... LOL

my son's 8 and has very similar issues to your son.... we don't have a lot of resources available though because the town is too small and the school has no funding and is too small. (1 grade per class) so we have to get pretty creative on coming up with solutions and ideas - including a note book home from the teacher to tell us how he did each day.

We get our son to role play as a way to share his day because he can't.. or won't... use words to tell us what happened at school - he's been bullied and won't tell and just explodes when he gets home or lashes out eventually and then HE gets blamed.

He's very literal - education and matching of the right teachers will be a big part of it. my husband and I can volunteer at his school to make sure that he's being handled correctly though as he ages so we have some advantages that other people don't in a bigger school system - also if anyone screws up - everyone knows because the town is so small... so it makes it more likely that the teachers will accomodate and work with you of their own free will too.

We may still fight for an IEP eventually - but for now, the schools willing to work with us on their own to accomodate my son's needs, so I don't feel the need to make a huge deal out of it at the moment. though we'll see where we stand by the start of next year (3rd grade) socially and see if we have to insist upon certain measures being enforced.

like breaks between transitioning that are longer, the ability to have 1 on 1 time with the special ed teacher for lunches/reccesses so he doesn't get so overwhelmed, more structured freetime, etc.

My son tends to save most of his meltdowns for home, but he shows signs of over stimulation that are sutble and get overlooked unless your closely monitoring him....

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