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Wow, Im the original poster...YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

Posted by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:05 PM
  • 14 Replies
4 moms liked this


Wow, I submitted my shameful post, then sat and tried to identify a feeling, any feeling. I was interrupted by the sound of the trees being whipped around by a wind storm here. Watched the storm and opened the windows to listen.

I came back to the computer and updated my screen to find so many replies! Very wonderful to see complete strangers taking the time and energy to respond. Honestly, seeing that kind of attentive reaction instantly gave me a specific physical feeling. This is a GOOD feeling and since your kindness allowed me to FEEL it, I want you to understand, if I can get you to.... 

LET'S TRY:  Remember your "work friend's" wedding? Sitting there at that round table surrounded by cheerful banter from  tables and guests everywhere?

Many of us have experienced this scenario.  That feeling of being alone and lonely.  Then, before the waiter finished topping off your glass of Merlot, you see co-workers quickly finding places for their purses etc.and at your table!

 RELIEF! In that moment, the negative physical feeling of isolation,  changes to a knowing you belong to, or  'feeling' part of a group.. It's been so long since I felt a similar connection, I didnt know I NEED that in my life.  Thank you all so much.

That being said, honestly I have no idea how to navigate my way through these messages. I think some posts are meant for other posters....which is reminding me of a gathering of female friends, involved in a compelling conversation one spring afternoon. From what I can see, looks like this get-together is casual with friends coming and going...often to return back to the conversation. All so familiar...I miss that too! I'm incomplete for lack of these emotions I once took for granted. 

Ladies, thank you so much for giving me two distinct feelings because I know now two NEEDS I consider a requirement for food. (don't ask please)

If it's possible to find a reply to my post and follow that 'conversation', I'd LOVE to learn how!  Until that time, thank you again and I'm also grateful for something else: You have all provided me something to do tonight!

 I have a suspicion trying to find your messages among the words will prove the most fulfilling activity in far too long. Actually looking forward to finding your words of wisdom!



by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:05 PM
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by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:51 PM

Hello Jane.  This is a great group and I am sure you will get all the understanding and support you need.  I always feel better after being on here.  I think most of the posts were encouraging you to call your doctor and discuss the way you are feeling right now.  Many many of us deal with depression and anxiety too.  Some of us have to take medication to stay mentally well to be able to keep up with our lives.   There is no same is needing therapy or medication.  We all are worried about you and want you to feel better soon.


by on May. 3, 2012 at 9:09 PM
I too am on meds for depression and anxiety. Having support is priceless! Most of my support has been online. All these ladies are amazing! I don't post a whole lot, but they have no idea how much they help by the things they say! I am also on a support group on Facebook for single mothers of children with Autism. Just recently I have become friends with other Moms of kids with Autism at their therapy waiting room. It is so nice to hang out with other Moms that have kids with special needs. We kind of all look out for each others kids and no one minds when one of them is having a meltdown. No unwanted advice, no judging or looks! It's great! I was very lonely for a while, and I do tend to isolate as well! It is very hard and no one really understands unless they see it or live it!

We're all glad you joined today! I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

Regarding the other post, look for a link that says "My posts", you should be able to find it and click on it so you can read the comments. Just remember, you're not alone! I will also post "bump" in the comments of your previous post. That will bump it up to the top of the list so it will be easier for you to find.

Take care and know that we care!

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by Sara on May. 3, 2012 at 9:22 PM
1 mom liked this

You write like a poet. I understand that well and do the same when I am feeling strong emotions. I urge you to continue to share. Both here and with a counselor.

by on May. 3, 2012 at 9:23 PM

Hi Jane, I hope you are doing better now and really do hope you get some help for yourself and your children. If something happened to you, it would be devastating for them. I know because my father took his own life when I was 17. He was only 35 years old. If you ever want to talk, just send me a message. I will be more than willing to help you any way I can.

by Wendy on May. 4, 2012 at 9:31 AM

did you go to the DR's?

by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:42 AM

 Im so glad I was able to help you. Just keep coming back for the conversations. They are good and we develop a kind of friendship here.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:55 AM

PTSD Depression and in therapy can't take meds pregos but it is what it is I am not proud of it but it helps to put it in here cause these ladies understand and do not judge and give helpful hints it is nice to know you are not alone!

by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:07 PM

 Beautiful writing, I agree. :-)

Girl, I have been on this roller coster ride ever since my son was born and I experienced post partum depression.

I take Lexapro. I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

There was once a dark time when I was thinking about a murder/mass suicide (not really, but I THOUGHT about it) or just running away, disappearing, starting a new life under an assumed named and letting my husband take our son. OK? So....please- I would never judge anyone for their feelings.

I started suffering from depression in my 20's, mildly, and then I felt great when I was PG at 31- I had stopped the medication before getting pregnant and I didn't need it while pregnant because I felt SO GOOD. As soon as I had my baby, I spiraled down the rabbit hole FAST.

They told me you can take SSRIs during the last trimester of pregnancy, but I didn't need it.

So, anyway, I'm rambling, but I have BTDT, felt all the scary emotions, and somehow I have come through the tunnel. Sigh...


by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:53 PM

Hi Jane.  So glad you found the replies encouraging.  Most of us were urging you to seek medical help to get you through this.  Praying for you.  Your kids need you healthy.  

by on May. 4, 2012 at 3:52 PM

I am so glad that you have found some peace and encouragement from the replies :) 

((HUGS))  I hope you are feeling better and know that if you ever need someone to talk to again, we are here for you.  Having children with autism or any kind of special need can be overwhelming at times.  Doctors, psychologists, and therapists understand this and can help you.  Take care!

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