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Potty training help(please no judging me) EDIT in red

Posted by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:25 PM
  • 6 Replies

I have been trying to potty train my ASD son since December.He goes to a special preschool that is for children with different mental disabilities and they have been helping with the potty training at school.he goes 4 days a week for 4 hours.

The problem that i have seen is his school takes long breaks(winter break was a month,And then spring break was a month)and my son doesn't want to go on the potty at all during that time he out of school cause it messes with his routine.

I have done everything(stickers,candy,books,ect) i can think of  to try and get my son to go on the potty but he refuses to go when hes here at home. He always wants to put in a diaper.

His dad and I are divorced so he lives with me 5 days out the week and his dad 2 days.His dad doesn't help at husband helps more than him

can anyone help me?i cant pull my son out this school since the state pays for it and i cant afford to but him in a different school plus he loves this school and his teachers

*when he woke up he wanted to be put in underwear so i guess its somewhat of a start again

so all day today my son has been in uderwear(minus the two hours he was taking a nap he was in a diaper)he has has no accident and has gone potty in the toliet all day WITHOUT me asking me!!He goes i hear him peeing.Today has been a very good day with potty trainning :)

by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:25 PM
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by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:36 PM

 Id say wanting to be in underwear is a start. Just try to see if you can work potty time in to his daily routine. Wake up go potty, get dressed, eat breakfast, try and potty, do an actitivy, potty, lunch, potty, actitivty, potty, etc, so that he is trying to potty every 30 mins to hr. Its just a suggestion not that Im saying u have to. But it is a place to start.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 1:40 PM

Ill try it....maybe duing the time hes home after school we will do it.thanks:)

by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:09 PM
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Don't loose heart.  My son is turning five and just now getting the hang of it.  It's really tough for kids on the spectrum.  Our therapist told us it could take until 7 or 8!  So I'm feeling lucky he's getting the hang of it at 5.  This our story that I posted in another thread. I was making a larger point about trusting your instincts but it also serves as a tool for training... Let me prefice this by saying I took this hard line with my son when I was sure he could understand the rules and his responsibilites.  He turns 5 in 2 weeks:  

 After well over 2 years of potty training I had it. I realized that he was not understanding that pooping in his pants had serious consequences.  So I called he therapist and said, I'm done with coddling him about this.  We can continue with the positive reinforcement but I will make pooping in his pant such an horrible experience and the act of pooping in the toilet such a rewarding one that he will simply have to choose the later.    She said she thought we should just continue with the positive approach exclusively but I told her no, he's ready for a little "tough love" now.  When he was 3, he didn't have the mental sophistication to understand but now, I sensed, he definitely did.  

I  explained to him the new rules.  I made a chart that had 10 tokens on it.  I explained to him that every time he pooped in the toilet he'd get a token and when he got to 10 tokens he'd get a reward.  My son is mad about Knights and swords and all that kind of stuff. He has one realistic sword that we bought and 8 we made of felt and decorated together.  

The first goal was a playmobil knight (a 3.50 euro investment) - UBER ENTICING!!   Conversely, I explained, if he pooped in his pants I would take away one of his swords and I would start with his favorite one (you should have seen his face!).  I further explained that I would not give it back until he reached his 10 poop goal.  It made the reward even MORE enticing because he'd get the reward AND his favorite sword back.  The felts swords he could ‘buy” back for 3 tokens (meaning he’d have to earn those tokens again to get to the 10)  or he could wait to get the sword back when he reached the 10.  

Naturally the first few weeks were a mess.  He was LIVID when I took the swords.  And we spent the next 5 weeks in a horrible ‘back and forth’ of tokens, swords, angry accidents and a river of tears.  Then something really amazing happened....

Rewind: about 7 months ago a friend had given Miles a movie called Happiness is a Warm Blanket.  In it Linus is being brutally forced to give up the thing he loves most: His blanket.  Lucy tells Linus he has to “Break the habit”.  It’s a wonderful movie that suggest we all need something that comforts us but sometimes we choose things that aren’t good for us...

So we’re at the 6 week mark and Miles says to me, totally out of the blue, “Mom, I’ll be Linus and you be Lucy”. Role play is a big part of his therapy and he uses it a lot to tell me things.  So I shout, as Lucy, ”  Linus you have to give up that stupid blanket before grandma comes!”  and he says, as Linus “ I know....I have to break the habit(almost to himself)”.  Then, he looks at me says ‘Mom, I have to poo poo. He runs to the toilet and poops!!’  And as he's running to the toilet shouts, "You're not supposed to say 'Stupid' Mom"  - aspies's and their rules LOL!

He got 10 tokens in a row after that - not one accident.  That was about 6 weeks ago and he’s had perhaps 2 accidents and both times he GAVE me the sword to hold until he reached the 10.  Now the rewards are things we’re making or trips to the movies.  Yesterday we made a paper marche’(sp?) helmet and he was thrilled!

In the end, potty training ASD kids is not for the faint of heart.  Try to relax and know that eventuallly, you and your son will find a way....

by Emma on May. 4, 2012 at 2:39 PM

my son is 8 and still has accidents.

when he was this age, it was hard to get him to go - he'd try, he just didn't care if he went in his underwear or a diaper.... or the toilet.

he did fight the potty a lot and I just kind of didn't push the issue until he was more "ready" for it. I know people always push the potty training issue - but I found going at his pace made it less stressful for both of us - and he still has accidents now - but he is for the most part completely potty trained.

We are working more on making sure he tells us when he HAS an accident and takes care of it himself - if he had his way, he'd have dad or I wipe his butt for him instead of doing it himself... which just isn't going to fly. poop makes me puke. LOL

Accidents are fine - but at 8, he's capable physically and mentally of doing it himself, and that's what we expect even if he needs a little help and encouragement.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 3:00 PM

Good luck!  Each kiddo is different and goes at their own pace, just keep working with him.  I don't think anyone on this board would ever judge you, we have all been there or getting ready to :)

by on May. 4, 2012 at 3:10 PM
It sounds to me that he wants and has the ability to go but he doesn't have a stable consistent routine. Not your fault. Like a pp said, try the best you can to work it in your day. Its hard because he's only with you 5 days and the other 2 its up to his dad to follow the schedule but I'm sure its not that easy. Maybe you can make a chart and hang it up including the potty on there this way he knows its time to go potty.
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