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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

I am a Mother of 3, Two girls and a boy ages 19,12 and 2. My oldest is hearing impaired due to scarlett fever ,my 12 year old was tested for autism and was confirmed to pddno(or something like that) and I just had my 2 year old evaluated because of delayed speech and found out that she has autism also.I feel like screaming and I just want to cry but I know that will not change anything.I have been out of work since the baby has been born and my husband is the only one working.I know that this stress is the reason why I am have hair loss and weight gain.I guess I never really have time for my self do to taking care of everyone else and I know that I need to take that time  but I just don't see how.What can I do for me without neglecting my kids?

by on May. 4, 2012 at 2:49 PM
Replies (11-18):
needhelp2002
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I am 49 and know where you are coming from.  I have 10yo twins.  One has Down Syndrome and is Autistic as well.  My husband is a fireman so he works 24 hour shifts and does side jobs as a carpenter on his off days.  Money is very tight in our house....not to mention that I work part-time and the rest of the time is with the kids.  I make a deal with my other 10yo on the weekends, that he give me 2 hours to take a nice long shower, do my hair and my make-up.  When I feel like I look good, it motivates me to do something active with the kids.  I can't join a gym, but I can take our dogs for long walks or run around the yard playing ball or even put on an exercise channel on TV.  The kids either participate with me or just laugh at me.  If swimming is an option at all, that is great exercise even with the kids.  We have a pool in our backyard and that really helps me and the kids in the summer both in exercise and sanity.  Good luck....do something-anything you like so you can feel good about yourself.hugs 

marisab
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2012 at 2:48 PM

what do u do for fun?is there any one who can watch the kids so u can get 1 day a week at least to deal??

isotoner
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 4:50 PM
1 mom liked this

 Welcome to the group.  I'm 44 with 2 kids.  They do take up most of our time.  I just got serious about exercising again the first week in March.  You need to figure out what you can fit into your routine.  In the meantime, make sure you make time for yourself weather it's reading a book, getting a manicure, or whatever.  You deserve it.

navyjen
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 11:37 AM

 

Quoting badgermom2012:

What I really think is that there's a difference between health and vanity.  If someone is chomping on cheetoze all day, I"d probably recommend they cut back on that.  Having said that, thank God I'm in good health.  Had a physical and all my labs and BP are good.  I am gaining weight, but this is normal for someone almost 40.  I don't have the time or money to go to a gym or run several miles a day.  I thank God for getting me past my vanity.  For a long time I was worried about being the skinniest prettiest, etc.  Now my appearance is meaningless to me and I thank the Lord for that.  

Quoting navyjen:

 

Quoting badgermom2012:

Well, I know what you mean. I'm pushing 40 too.  I have hair loss and weight gain.  Before becoming pregnant with my son I was a size 0 and a runner; I was training for a marathon.  Now I have a huge gut.  What can you do?  

 You can do it again momma.  Motivate yourself to get back to running or get on the elliptical.   Before this pregnancy I was still the same size I was in highschool and I am 37 years old.  I love the gym.    It doesnt have to be this way.  Dont give up get answers.  

 

 I am gonna disagree with you here about the vanity part.  Wanting to be healthy and stronger and in good shape has little to do with vanity.   Sure seeing muscles develop and a slim trim figure is an added benefit to being physically fit.  Wanting my heart to be strong and going and doing cardio so that it stays strong because of past family history of heart disease also has nothing to do with vanity.  Yeah, I am proud I still can wear the same size I did in highschool at almost 40 and I am happy god gives me the will power to get up and go workout and the drive to stay physically at my best.  

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers
badgermom2012
by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:32 PM

I dont think someone 40 yrs old is supposed to weigh the same as highschool.  And as you get older being too thin may increase the risk of osteoporosis.  Not saying it's good to over eat and be sedentary, but trying to stay size 0 or 2 is also not healthy in many cases.  Just saying.  Women in general are way too hard on ourselves while many men don't care if they wear a size 50 pants or whatever.  

Quoting navyjen:

 

Quoting badgermom2012:

What I really think is that there's a difference between health and vanity.  If someone is chomping on cheetoze all day, I"d probably recommend they cut back on that.  Having said that, thank God I'm in good health.  Had a physical and all my labs and BP are good.  I am gaining weight, but this is normal for someone almost 40.  I don't have the time or money to go to a gym or run several miles a day.  I thank God for getting me past my vanity.  For a long time I was worried about being the skinniest prettiest, etc.  Now my appearance is meaningless to me and I thank the Lord for that.  

Quoting navyjen:

 

Quoting badgermom2012:

Well, I know what you mean. I'm pushing 40 too.  I have hair loss and weight gain.  Before becoming pregnant with my son I was a size 0 and a runner; I was training for a marathon.  Now I have a huge gut.  What can you do?  

 You can do it again momma.  Motivate yourself to get back to running or get on the elliptical.   Before this pregnancy I was still the same size I was in highschool and I am 37 years old.  I love the gym.    It doesnt have to be this way.  Dont give up get answers.  


 I am gonna disagree with you here about the vanity part.  Wanting to be healthy and stronger and in good shape has little to do with vanity.   Sure seeing muscles develop and a slim trim figure is an added benefit to being physically fit.  Wanting my heart to be strong and going and doing cardio so that it stays strong because of past family history of heart disease also has nothing to do with vanity.  Yeah, I am proud I still can wear the same size I did in highschool at almost 40 and I am happy god gives me the will power to get up and go workout and the drive to stay physically at my best.  


LadyOsgood
by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Ask for help if you can find it. You have to care for yourself to care for them. Remember that. It's the hardest thing to remember as a special needs parent. We must care for ourselves in order to do what is best for our children. You don't have to join a gym unless you want to and have the means to do so. Stress can cause weight gain and so can depression. If you are not against the idea then ask your doctor for medication. I am on full time medication to help myself but my husband only takes it when he needs it. When he finds himself in a hole and can't climb out. Once he has a handle on things again he is able to come off the meds (he only goes on once in a while...not a monthly thing lol). 

Hair loss might be stress but many other things as well so I would suggest a doc visit just for that.

What do you think needs to be done to care for yourself? (not being sarcastic but I want to know your idea of ways to help yourself) then maybe we can brain storm and see how to work out your problem.

I have to schedule EVERTHING into my calander. Shower time to sleep. I know trying to do anything while the kids are awake is not gonna happen so I wait til they go to bed or get up early before they wake up. I walk the dog, I was blessed with a treadmill (my dad is on his own weigh loss journey and his wife got him a new high tech one for Christmas so I got the old one) so I use it while reading a book. I make sure the snacks we have are healthy, since I often eat on the go I make sure to have healthy options. I come on here and talk. I call or message my friends when it all gets to be to much.

I promise you are not alone in feeling like this. You made the first step and that is asking for advice.

shell3m
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2012 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

if you take time for yourself it will make you relaxed which will lead to a happy mom and a better mom.  I make jewelry and cross stitch for my fun and time for myself.  On other days I just walk around walmart and look at nick-nacks for a long time and I go home looking forward to seeing my crazy ass kids...lol  Remember....happy mom = happy house.

Smiley471
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:51 AM

With all of these great responses I know I chose the right place to come and express my feelings.Every reply and comment bought tears to my eyes because I didn't expect to be so well received.Thank you all for the help and keep them coming.

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