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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

would you replace a pet that just died?

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 6:35 AM
  • 23 Replies

i have a house full of pets,my hfa/ausbergers son was extremly attached to big kitty,he is the only pet he loved and showed attention to,about 2 weeks ago we found big kitty dead,we had a funeral and made a grave stone for him,my son went from wanting to dig his cat up to standing next to the grave and saying a prayer asking god to bring back his cat,ive explained that the cat is not comming back and he understands,im thinking about taking him to the animal shelter and picking out a new best buddy for him but the people ive talked to about it thinks its a bad idea and he needs to learn that you have to accept change and you cant just replace somthing you love with somthing else,whats your opinion would you get a new pet or not ?

by on May. 9, 2012 at 6:35 AM
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Macphee
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 6:59 AM
As painful as it is for him, I would say give it time. If you get another cat right away, he will expect to be like his previous one. just find a way for him to understand his sadness.

Give it a couple of weeks. Poor guy.

My MIL dog died and my kids were upset. I found All dogs go to heaven. It comforted them a bit.
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Austinsmom4544
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 7:02 AM

I used to feel that way until my dads dog died.  He was so attached to him he kept looking for him everytime he walked in the house :(  We were told by the vet a new dog would help through the grieving process.  It sure did, my dad still misses his dog but has found similar qualities and a likeness in the new dog.  Has really helped him .  I say go with what you feel your son needs.  Good luck!

momtoscott
by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:07 AM

 I'd recommend waiting a little while before getting a new pet, to let your boy process the experience.  It's always a sad time for the family when a pet dies.  It could be overwhelming in a different way for your son if you got a new pet right away.  I'm sure whichever way you decide to go, things will work out. 

RockinMama0608
by on May. 9, 2012 at 10:15 AM

I would give it some time before introducing a new pet.  I know it is hard for him and for you to watch him be upset, but he needs to accept the loss before getting a new pet.  Plus, if he has a hard time getting attached to animals, I don't think this would be the right time as it may be emotionally overwhelming for him.

Sorry about your loss and I hope that it all works out  ((hugs))

Siobhan69
by Siobhan on May. 9, 2012 at 10:41 AM

 I would go ahead and get him another cat. You can explain that God can't bring Big Kitty back but he said you should take care of a another little kitty that needs a home and see how he responds to that.

Leobaby2007
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh, poor big kitty! :-( I have a 17 year old cat. I have to check to make sure he breathing when he's asleep because I am so prarnoid.'

I am HUGE cat lover. The most I had at once was 3 and it was a zoo, so I can't imagine what having 3 children is like!

Personally, I am going to wait before getting a kitten, mostly for selfish reasons. I have been cleaning a litter box since 1995 and I'm sick of it. Also, time to grieve, etc.

However, if you're up for getting a new pet, I don't see why it's such a bad idea. Your son will understand that big kitty is no longer here, but in "kitty heaven", if you believe in kitty heaven (I do lol). If having a cat makes him happy and you're okay with the extra work and expense that comes with a pet, I personally think it's fine, but that's just my opinion.

Here's my Oscar. Had him since I was 20, a junior in college. Oscar wanted to me convey the message, "May 'big kitty' rest in peace.":

Austinsmom4544
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow, I'm not really a cat lover but he is gorgeous!  hmmm now thinking my two dogs need a new friend :)

Quoting Leobaby2007:

Oh, poor big kitty! :-( I have a 17 year old cat. I have to check to make sure he breathing when he's asleep because I am so prarnoid.'

I am HUGE cat lover. The most I had at once was 3 and it was a zoo, so I can't imagine what having 3 children is like!

Personally, I am going to wait before getting a kitten, mostly for selfish reasons. I have been cleaning a litter box since 1995 and I'm sick of it. Also, time to grieve, etc.

However, if you're up for getting a new pet, I don't see why it's such a bad idea. Your son will understand that big kitty is no longer here, but in "kitty heaven", if you believe in kitty heaven (I do lol). If having a cat makes him happy and you're okay with the extra work and expense that comes with a pet, I personally think it's fine, but that's just my opinion.

Here's my Oscar. Had him since I was 20, a junior in college. Oscar wanted to me convey the message, "May 'big kitty' rest in peace.":



fourkidsinnc
by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:14 PM

thankyou, your cat is beautiful

kajira
by Emma on May. 9, 2012 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this

when my son's dog died - we made him weight a while to make sure him asking for a new dog was something he really wanted, then for his birthday, we picked out a dog with him and they are best buddies and it was great.


When I lose a pet - I always get a new one. It makes it hurt less - it doesn't REPLACE them - because they aren't the same animal - but it eases it a little... and I always just told myself that my animal wouldn't want me to be lonely.


- but it's not the next day. when my cat goku died from kitty lukemia - I knew I wanted another cat - and found a rescue and spend some time researching to find one. I spent a few months researching cat breeds, and figuring out what I wanted to make sure I still wanted another lynx point siamese.


Then.. I find one from a rescue... and I brought him home. A few months later, I decided he needed a buddy and found another one.

this was 5 years ago.


I have Tanuki - and Ash

Tanuki was my rescue - who's 20+ lbs and ash was the kitten I found at a feed store that someone had dumped with his sister in farm country and didn't know they were siameses - i took them both home and gave his sister to my grandparents. LOL


this is Tanuki - he has survived multiple dogs - and is on his second toddler.


Leobaby2007
by on May. 9, 2012 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Austinsmom4544:




Lol! He's a blue Persian and a lovey dovey "lap cat". :-) Best pet I've ever had...

I have adorable kitten photos of them at my mom's house. Will post those eventually. Kittens are FUN. But so are puppies. Kittens don't chew your shoes or furniture, though lol!
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