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How, who, when to tell people about your child's ADS diagnosis?

Posted by on May. 16, 2012 at 9:45 PM
  • 5 Replies

My 20 month old son was just diagnosed last week.  It's hard to talk about in general with all the emotions that surround it.  My hubby and I have been discussing who we should tell..family, friends, people we work with at church etc.  I'm torn between wanting to keep it to myself (with the exception of a few close friends and family) and just telling people on a need-to-know basis.  I really don't want the stares, or the "I'm sorry", or the common misconceptions thoughts and comments that others may make to me or my family.  It's stressful enough and I don't want to add more stress.  Are fears about what others might think, do, or treat you differently normal?  I'de love advise on how everyone has dealt with this.   

by on May. 16, 2012 at 9:45 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Aspiemom0203
by on May. 16, 2012 at 10:13 PM
Need to know basis. Who spends alot of time with your child? If anyone asks pointed questions I answer. I'm proud of him and don't really care what people think. And to the "I'm sorry" people, just say "I'm not he teaches me new things daily". They really do! My DS notices every detail. It's the big picture he misses sometimes. I never miss a day that he doesn't point out the sound of each bird:)
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MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2012 at 10:48 PM

bump!

newmommy430
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 11:31 PM
You can tell people when your ready to. As long as they don't need to know, you don't have to tell anyone. It's okay to give yourself and your husband time to cope.

We only told close friends and family members at the beginning. It has been over a year and we still haven't told everyone. If they are not in his life then I don't tell them.
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ROGUEM
by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:41 PM

Because your son is very young, I think at this point you tell only those who need to know.  Get him as much therapies and help you can.  As he ages you will be able to better decide who and when to tell.  Some children's autism is very obvious and so in that situation it is best to probably explain to those who come in contact with him.  Other children function at a level that many people would never guess during casual contact so they need to tell others may not be necessary in many situations.

I think it is always best to take time and let it settle. Research and learn enough about autism to where you can explain it thoroughly and confidently when you are ready.  I took over a month before I told those close to me.  I needed that time to wrap my head around it and learn what I needed to help my twins.   You will learn most people you choose to tell about it will base their feelings and opinions directly from how you present it to them.  If you present it positively then they will too.  If you act like it is the end of the world they will be more likely to say the things you listed above like " I am sorry".

Get okay with it first and then when you tell others they will be okay with it too.

HUGS

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on May. 17, 2012 at 8:21 AM

I would keep it as a need to know basis until you feel more comfortable with it.I think it is normal to worry about what others think or feel about it. I felt that way too at times. is he in early intervention? welcome to the group!

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