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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum
We received Odin's diagnosis and it is Asperger's and ADHD. The ADHD part I am shocked about, I just didn't think he had that. She talked about medication for the ADHD but I am scared about it because he is only 4 and I just don't want to put drugs into his little body. I'm just confused about what I should do at this point. I have contacted the school district to get him in the preschool in our district for next year. Last year he attended a preschool at the community center but half way through the year he needed an aide to "survive" as they put it. Can anyone share what their experiences with ADHD or Aspergers have been like for their child and what therapies have they benefited from the most? Do you medicate your child for ADHD. I have read so many horrible things about the medication used for ADHD and most if it sounds like it's a "wait and see" thing. I knew an ASD diagnosis was coming but I still feel sad about it and cried most of Monday. Don't know why I was crying and I also feel mad but who I am mad at I don't know. I think in the back of my mind I was hoping the doctor would say "Get outta here he's just fine" I know that sounds stupid but I guess I was just holding out hope that I was wrong about him. Sorry I am rambling on but my mind has been racing for two days with all of the "what do I do next, How will he be in school, can he be successful in life, will he need special Ed or main stream??" I feel like I am on a roller coaster that is never going to stop and let me get off!
by on May. 23, 2012 at 11:40 AM
Replies (11-20):
kajira
by Emma on May. 23, 2012 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I do not see ADD symptoms in my son unless he's under extreme duress and doesn't understand what's going on then his meltdowns/shutdowns mimic ADD signs.

I look like I have ADD because of my communication problems and grasping to fail and needing to fidget in order to retain and focus information. - it looks just like ADD symptoms - but medication won't fix it. medication always made me worse.

I would hold off on medication, if they label ADD just based on observation or behaviors, it may not actually *be* add.... the behaviors can look the same and not be the same.

I would hold off on meds until he's odler and can communicate better.

when I was on meds, they drugged me up until I couldn't function but because I looked mellower, they assumed they were working - when in reality, they made it so my brain just didn't work at all, I was miserable, I didn't eat, and I was a zombie who oculdn't function. all they cared about is "oh, she's not spinning anymore, it must have fixed her."

In reality, I got misdiagnosed with ADD and none of the meds ever helped me. anxiety meds never helped me. I wasn't anxious.

people see behaviors and assume labels and our kids aren't able to correctly communicate what's REALLY going on inside their head, or even tell us how the medicaiton makes them feel.

I would hold off until the child has the communication skills to truly express if the meds help or make it worse.

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on May. 23, 2012 at 3:48 PM

((hugs)) I think alot of the ladies had good advice and help so I'm just saying ((hugs)) 

kajira
by Emma on May. 23, 2012 at 3:49 PM

Also - for billing purposes/insruance reasons, they often HAVE to have a comorbid label.

ADD is billable, and treatable with meds. Autism isn't. so if you ever wanted to TRY meds, you'd have to treat the ADD portion not the autism.

Gloria1025
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2012 at 4:37 PM
I know the thought of medicating a young child is scary. We don't have a diagnosis for our 3 yr old yet but I have been thinking about what I will do if they do recommend meds for him. I would like to share a story that may help you look at things from a different perspective. I was talking with a friend with a 20 yr old son who has battled drug addiction and one thing she told me is she wishes he had had a diagnosis at a younger age and that the appropriate prescription medications would have been a part of his life from early on. Instead, he went down a destructive path of "self medicating" with alcohol etc., several rehab and relapse cycles. I want to be clear that this is a wonderful loving family and this is not a result of bad parenting. Now she says it is a battle to get him to comply with prescription medication even though he is clearly a lot better when on them because he does not want to be on chronic meds. Ironically, this is essentially what he has been doing to himself in a destructive way with other "drugs" trying to make himself feel better. She feels that if he had started appropriate medications as a child then they would just be a normal part of his life and he would be much better off and potentially could have avoided a lot of the self destructive behavior. I am not saying you should or should not use medications for your son. I am just sharing the story because after I heard it, I did a lot of self reflection to try and determine why I felt like medications would be "bad". The potential side effects of it are certainly part of it but there was a lot of my own feelings and beliefs driving it, not necessarily just a focus on what would be best for my son. Good luck with your decision. I agree with others, that you should take your time and determine what is best for you and your child.
OceanGoddess
by on May. 23, 2012 at 4:39 PM
My son is 5 and intunive made a HUGE difference fr him with his ADHD.
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kajira
by Emma on May. 23, 2012 at 4:53 PM
1 mom liked this

my mom is bipolar and WAS treated from a young age and still became a drug addict and alcoholic and none of the bipolar or other medications worked for her.

Just because someone gets into drugs doesn't mean they weren't treated/medicated for their issues prior to the drug addiction.

Quoting Gloria1025:

I know the thought of medicating a young child is scary. We don't have a diagnosis for our 3 yr old yet but I have been thinking about what I will do if they do recommend meds for him. I would like to share a story that may help you look at things from a different perspective. I was talking with a friend with a 20 yr old son who has battled drug addiction and one thing she told me is she wishes he had had a diagnosis at a younger age and that the appropriate prescription medications would have been a part of his life from early on. Instead, he went down a destructive path of "self medicating" with alcohol etc., several rehab and relapse cycles. I want to be clear that this is a wonderful loving family and this is not a result of bad parenting. Now she says it is a battle to get him to comply with prescription medication even though he is clearly a lot better when on them because he does not want to be on chronic meds. Ironically, this is essentially what he has been doing to himself in a destructive way with other "drugs" trying to make himself feel better. She feels that if he had started appropriate medications as a child then they would just be a normal part of his life and he would be much better off and potentially could have avoided a lot of the self destructive behavior. I am not saying you should or should not use medications for your son. I am just sharing the story because after I heard it, I did a lot of self reflection to try and determine why I felt like medications would be "bad". The potential side effects of it are certainly part of it but there was a lot of my own feelings and beliefs driving it, not necessarily just a focus on what would be best for my son. Good luck with your decision. I agree with others, that you should take your time and determine what is best for you and your child.


Gloria1025
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2012 at 5:02 PM

I agree - there is no guarantee just like most things in life.  It just helped me think about things from a different perspective and be more open to the possibility. 

kajira
by Emma on May. 23, 2012 at 5:06 PM

i think my mom being medicated from a young age is what lead to her drug addiction to fix herself because they never taught her how to cope with anything in life with *out* the drugs/medication route.

I think medication has a time and place - but I think you need to work on coping strategies and dealing with it with out the bandaid - even if you also eventually need to *use* the bandaid along with the coping skills...


I could have turned out like my mom and I chose not too - I believe drug addiction is a choice. It's a selfish one. I do not believe it's a disease. it starts off as a choice... if you choose to make that choice and not do something to fix it.. I don't have a lot of sympathy. but I Was the kid of that parent.

Quoting Gloria1025:

I agree - there is no guarantee just like most things in life.  It just helped me think about things from a different perspective and be more open to the possibility. 


Gloria1025
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2012 at 5:28 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting kajira:

I think medication has a time and place - but I think you need to work on coping strategies and dealing with it with out the bandaid - even if you also eventually need to *use* the bandaid along with the coping skills...


This makes a lot of sense.  We all know this is complicated and there is no one size fits all, no one magic thing that is going to make everything perfect.  Doctors are still learning every day and don't have all the answers.  Every child is an individual and needs to be treated that way.  All we can do is what we think is best for our children at the time and not give ourselves the "mommy guilt" with all of the "what ifs"

cmsloco
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Been in your shoes as well...I always knew in the back of my mind that it was HF Autism, but never dreamed of the ADHD.  I still feel the symptoms (although they can exist together) are just another manifestation of the autism.  My son is almost 6 and will start 1st grade in the fall.  This will be the first year that his school says they cannot afford to have a helper just because of one child in his room.  I am dreading it!

As for the ADHD stuff, I choose not to medicate.  Last time I checked (and it may have changed)  the FDA did not approve the meds for children under the age of 6.  I am not one for meds anyway.  So in our house, we choose not to use them.  That having been said every child is different and every household is different.  It is your family's personal choice.  Don't be bullied into it if you feel it is not right for your child, but don't feel like you are in the wrong if you do choose that route.   Try to stay strong, and if you can, remember to take a little time for yourself even if it is just 15 minutes in the bath.  (I need to remind myself of that one constantly)   You have to take care of you to take care of them.

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