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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Need some advice

Posted by on May. 26, 2012 at 6:28 AM
  • 13 Replies
Ok, my kids are getting services through EI this year. We did a kindergarten waiver this year for my oldest and homeschooled. We are going to continue homeschooling, and everybody has been made aware of this since day 1.
Well, since we started with his pt last march, his therapist will not stop harping at me about putting him in public school and how much good it would do him, he'd be in the same grade as her daughter, and on and on. Well this week she went a little too far. We don't get therapy in the summer so of course I'm worried about regression and she knows it. She told me Thursday that she would do pt for both kids during the summer, no charge, if I would put ds in public school for at least a month.
Can she even do that?? How do I get her to drop this? She knows how we feel about it, we're not going to change our minds. And really, why should it matter to her anyway? I don't know what to do. Any thought/ideas?? Please?
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by on May. 26, 2012 at 6:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
fourkidsinnc
by on May. 26, 2012 at 7:09 AM

my guess is for the social interaction ,my therapist tells me that keeping them stimulated is the best way to prevent regression,mine was in kindergarten this year also he did really well for the most part and enjoyed going to school

Austinsmom4544
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2012 at 12:06 PM

This would be my guess also.  She probably feels your child would greatly benefit from the social interaction.  I totally respect your choice to home school, but if it could really benefit your child why not try it out and see what happens?  My son is 14 now and not one set way has worked for him, and sometimes things stop working for him.  Its a constant battle of trying new things and sticking with the ones that make him progress the most.  Good luck :)

Quoting fourkidsinnc:

my guess is for the social interaction ,my therapist tells me that keeping them stimulated is the best way to prevent regression,mine was in kindergarten this year also he did really well for the most part and enjoyed going to school



kajira
by Emma on May. 26, 2012 at 12:20 PM
2 moms liked this

for social interaction.


we've tried it with our son and we have more problems than it helps. he goes to learn because he loves to learn and the social part which is why he's going makes him worse. ^.^

We found that going to the play ground or mcdonalds or church gives him more positive social interaction in a structured way, than school does.

at school he's bullied and doesn't really have any friends - he thinks the people who bully him are his friends... he's had a girl repeatedly kicking him in the nuts and thinks she's his friend because she looks at him. ^.^ sigh.

Public school for us has caused more problems than it's helped, but I tried it for his benefit to see if it would help. I think going for a couple of years *really* proved that he was autistic though to us - and gave us the evidence we needed to get him diagnosed, so I don't regret doing it, nor do I regret him learning at school. 

he's just getting old enough now - that he's self aware enough that kids are mean to him and don't include him and bully him - he goes back and forth on his teacher being nice to him and feeling like she targets/hates him.

So - the older he gets, the more obvious it is that a school system isn't really designed for a kid like him and in the long run, may do more emotional trauma/damage than structured social interactions while he learns properly would.

Social settings at school works GREAT - IF your kid is normal or normal enough not to be bullied/traumatized - or kids go out of their way to be patient and everyone's educated about the disorder to talk/help instead of ostracize... otherwise, I think it does more damage than it helps.

Jenn8604
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:22 PM
Id for go it if ur sons doing good. just do the therapy that shes doing w him by yourself at home. u may have huge problems later this fall putting him in a school.
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badgermom2012
by on May. 26, 2012 at 6:30 PM

Why don't you get PT in the summer?  When my son was in early intervention, he got services through the summer.  Maybe this varies according to region, but I'd look into it just to be sure.  As far as her harping on you, people will do that.  I homeschool my 3 1/2 yr old son and periodically take crap about it.  I'm not sure how to tell her to stop.  I'm not a very diplomatic person and usually end up screaming at the person and throwing them out of my house or stomping out of theirs.  Regardless, I hope you don't let her bully you into anything.  

unusualmom
by on May. 27, 2012 at 11:11 AM

Ummmm.. Thats not right.  Shes blackmailing you!  
...I was told never to take my kids out of public school because I would never be able to get the amount of services public school could offer me.  In some ways thats true..but to get them their services was a bitch!  But they are getting awesome services now.  Maybe thats what she meant she just didnt explain that??? 

VintageWife
by Member on May. 27, 2012 at 11:16 AM
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I can't believe everyone is saying you should do it. You clearly said you wouldn't change your mind. Let's change the word homeschool up there to vaccinate, breastfeed or circumcise and you'd still see it's one of those 'up to the parent choices' and that's what she's chosen to do, ya'll, make the choice on his education just like she would for any of those others.
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kajira
by Emma on May. 27, 2012 at 1:11 PM

wanting to homeschool a child who has social issues to most people seems like the worst idea in the world. My mother in law raged at me for mentioning and I do mean rage, that we'd be considering homeschooling him starting next year. I'm even having trouble getting my husband to agree that it's a good idea because it's so socially unacceptable to homeschool in our society.

(okay in our case, my husband would be doing most of the homeschooling because I have learning disabilities.... so I know why he wants our son to mainstream as long as possible before we yank him out, but he's got a logical reason - it's easy for me to say we should homeschool when i'd be the helper teacher, instead of the main teacher. LOL)

Kids who don't practice social skills sometimes will lose them too - but I'm a firm mind that positive healthy social outlets make more of a difference than constant bad experiences in a mainstream classroom would.

Quoting VintageWife:

I can't believe everyone is saying you should do it. You clearly said you wouldn't change your mind. Let's change the word homeschool up there to vaccinate, breastfeed or circumcise and you'd still see it's one of those 'up to the parent choices' and that's what she's chosen to do, ya'll, make the choice on his education just like she would for any of those others.


OnlybyGrace2911
by on May. 27, 2012 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this

 This really frustrates me. My kids go to public school. I am a public school teacher. But I am a firm believer that however you choose to school your children is entirely up to you and what works best for your family/children. What works for one does not mean it will work for another. Your choice to homeschool, whether it be religious, social, academic, or whatever, is YOUR choice and it shouldn't be anyone's business! This OT may see a benefit for your child if they attend public school (my guess is a social skills benefit), and it is good to have a conversation with you about it. But, to try and force you to do it is wrong. It MUST be YOUR choice because YOU think it is worth trying. Do what you believe is right for your kiddos and don't worry about other people!

There are other ways to socialize your kiddo. School is not always the best place for that anyway! Most socialization that happens at school is mostly unsupervised and not what we would want for our kids to learn. Church, sports, clubs, parks, family...all are good, if not better, ways to socialize!!

badgermom2012
by on May. 27, 2012 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep, people are quick to talk about the social benefits to being in public school.  However, what most kids experience is not so much positive social interaction as simply learning to coexist in a large group of random people and to follow often arbitrary rules and regulations.  For people who value those things then public is the place their kids.  I"m not one of those people.  

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