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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Hi, so my 6yo was having many many episodes of violence. Some of you might remember from previous posts. I was so lost I didn't know what to do anymore. I contacted professionals only to be turned down because he was 'too violent' for behavioral therapy. Had to be put on a 10 month waiting list for a behavioral specialty clinic a couple hours away from where I live and we are still waiting. Much of the actual physical violence started around September and it escalated, and escalated. Nothing seemed to be working.

   AND THEN... last Wednesday was his last day of school. He came home very happy and no problems at all. Only minimal problems with hitting since then as well. It's like a switch flipped off the second school got out, either that or he has been blaming me for making him go there or something. Not really sure. Anyone have experience w/ this type of thing? Thinking maybe I should request he be moved to a lower functioning classroom at school, as it's possible he is being overstimulated.

   While I am glad the behaviors appear to have all but disappeared, I am not sure what exactly is going on here. I'm scratching my head on this one... any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

by on May. 29, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Replies (11-17):
Austinsmom4544
by Silver Member on May. 29, 2012 at 9:17 PM

I'm confused.  You seriously have to give a 24 hr notice to observe him at school?  That is a serious red flag to me.  I can walk in whenever I choose unannounced and observe my child, or watch the video tapes.  As for the OT  is it written in his IEP?  If it is they are seriously not following the guidelines of his IEP which is  a big no-no.  I would definitely be concerned with all of these issues.  Sounds like you need to have another meeting to clarify which services he is entitled to and better communication from his teachers about behaviors they are not telling you about.  Good luck!

Quoting kykeyu:

  See, that's the biggest thing. The school doesn't work with me. And he is emerging verbal. He has two phrases he says spontaneously, about fifty or so words, and the rest of his speech is echolalia. Before he started kindergarten he had a few meltdowns, and about a month after school started it got worse... much much worse. I'm talking, through the course of the year he has attacked people, put holes in walls, pushed his grandma down a bunch of times, and lots of other stuff too. It built up to where he was having one or two really violent episodes a day. I looked for triggers, and most of the time just came up empty. I was honest with the school from the beginning about his behaviors at home, and just prior to the end of the school year we had an IEP and I again mentioned it. They were shocked he was doing that, just couldn't believe it. Say he is an 'angel' at school. No problems.

   Only that's another thing, the school has been lying to me about his lack of behaviors. One time I went in to talk to the principal and he was in the quiet room. Why he was in there I was not told, just that he needed to calm down so he was there. Another time when I dropped him off after an appt. one of the aides said she was surprised he was walking (apparently he crawls to class from the bus every day). They hadn't mentioned that either. Yet another time I went in to go with to an assembly at the church down the street and another child in the class was sitting by himself on the floor, rocking and covering his ears, and no one was concerned that he was upset like that except me... very obviously he was agitated, red face, humming, the whole nine. And they require 24 hours notice before a parent visit. Which I have violated on all but the last of the above mentioned occasions and every time I have seen something that bothered me. But this is the only program available to him in public school and I can't afford to send him to a private one.

  Only the school has taken over. For example, I said I wanted the sign language use to continue in kindergarten and they said no, they don't know any sign language so they will concentrate on verbal. I said I would get him an Ipad, they said no, if you do he will never have a reason to talk. I said can he see the occupational therapist, again they said no, it's not necessary. Let me note here that because he has Sensory Processing Disorder, he was supposed to be in OT for that at school since the beginning, that's the policy. Not once has an OT seen him. He has been in the school system for 3 years.



LIMom1105
by Silver Member on May. 29, 2012 at 9:21 PM
Quoting kykeyu:

  See, that's the biggest thing. The school doesn't work with me. And he is emerging verbal. He has two phrases he says spontaneously, about fifty or so words, and the rest of his speech is echolalia. Before he started kindergarten he had a few meltdowns, and about a month after school started it got worse... much much worse. I'm talking, through the course of the year he has attacked people, put holes in walls, pushed his grandma down a bunch of times, and lots of other stuff too. It built up to where he was having one or two really violent episodes a day. I looked for triggers, and most of the time just came up empty. I was honest with the school from the beginning about his behaviors at home, and just prior to the end of the school year we had an IEP and I again mentioned it. They were shocked he was doing that, just couldn't believe it. Say he is an 'angel' at school. No problems.

   Only that's another thing, the school has been lying to me about his lack of behaviors. One time I went in to talk to the principal and he was in the quiet room. Why he was in there I was not told, just that he needed to calm down so he was there. Another time when I dropped him off after an appt. one of the aides said she was surprised he was walking (apparently he crawls to class from the bus every day). They hadn't mentioned that either. Yet another time I went in to go with to an assembly at the church down the street and another child in the class was sitting by himself on the floor, rocking and covering his ears, and no one was concerned that he was upset like that except me... very obviously he was agitated, red face, humming, the whole nine. And they require 24 hours notice before a parent visit. Which I have violated on all but the last of the above mentioned occasions and every time I have seen something that bothered me. But this is the only program available to him in public school and I can't afford to send him to a private one.

  Only the school has taken over. For example, I said I wanted the sign language use to continue in kindergarten and they said no, they don't know any sign language so they will concentrate on verbal. I said I would get him an Ipad, they said no, if you do he will never have a reason to talk. I said can he see the occupational therapist, again they said no, it's not necessary. Let me note here that because he has Sensory Processing Disorder, he was supposed to be in OT for that at school since the beginning, that's the policy. Not once has an OT seen him. He has been in the school system for 3 years.




I just read this post. The school is not giving him an appropriate education, and you have every right to demand one. Write to them and outline his issues. Tell them about the episodes you mention above and demand that they communicate with you. Mention the reasonable accommodations you mention that would help him, and also state that though he was promised OT services, he never received any.

This burns me up. How can they not communicate with you? Telling you all is well when it's not does no one any good. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I really wish schools took helping our children more seriously.
MiMi2RJB
by on May. 30, 2012 at 12:31 AM

My son hates school.  He says it's boring and has become very aggressive with the teachers and staff.  He is now refusing to get out of my car in the morning at school.  It is extremely frustrating and I'm counting down the days until it's over.  I can't wait; however, I'm not looking forward to August either.  I know it's going to be tough.  

Enough about us.  Did he qualify for an IEP???  They have to follow what's in the IEP.  If he doesn't qualify for the IEP, you can find protection for him under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 which prohibits discrimination against any person with disabilities in any program receiving federal financial assistance.  Public schools receive federal financial assistance and are therefore required by law to the regulations set forth under section 504. (see link below) 

My son is high functioning and didn't qualify for an IEP, but he did qualify for the 504.  It sounds like you need to find a school advocate that can help you navigate the school system.  My son is only in kindergarten this year, and I plan on getting an advocate for next year.  There is so much that he is entitled to that I do not know about even though he has a TSS and a BSC.  It's amazing what they don't tell  you unless you start asking questions.  Good luck and Hugs!  I feel your pain.

http://schooladvocatestoday.com/resources

MiMi2RJB
by on May. 30, 2012 at 1:06 AM

Here's another good website.  I know it's for the State of Pa, but they have really good stuff in here.  

http://www.elc-pa.org/pubs/pubs_disabilities.html



Dereksmom1018
by on May. 30, 2012 at 1:13 AM

My son is fine at home too. It's wierd

OnlybyGrace2911
by on May. 30, 2012 at 1:54 AM
This is what I was referring to in my post "mountains and valleys"...extreme switches, for no apparent reason sometimes! I was wondering if others experience it as well.
As far as the school goes, you have rights and so does your son! Demand a mtg with the head of the sped dept., and whoever else should be there...demand the services your son is entitled to!!!!
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kykeyu
by on May. 30, 2012 at 8:36 AM

  Yes, he has an IEP. However, I have requested a copy of the IEP in advance of the meeting as I learned on here I was entitled to and... nothing. I see what's in the IEP the day we have the meeting and then if I don't agree with something they don't change what's in there. OT isn't in there, but I will get it in there... I found out about 3 weeks ago from the head of the Autism team at our Area Education Agency that since he is formally diagnosed with SPD the school system was required to have him in OT since the very beginning as it isn't addressed by the regular ABA curriculum that's used as the foundation for the program.

   I know, it IS ridiculous that they require the 24 hr notice. It's a mainstream school but the Autism program is separate from the rest of the school. Separate recess, lunch room in the basement, separate gym time. The only thing they do with the other kids is attend assemblies and schoolwide stuff, and even then they sit apart from everyone else. This bothers me, as I am raising my son just like my other two kids, we go out in public and to the park and it doesn't matter who is there, we're just hanging out like everyone else. Some of his behaviors have been picked up from school, like the dreaded spitting, which I understand as kids do pick things up from their peers, but what about the good things they could learn from the mainstreamed kids at the same school? I thought the special needs dedicated schools were closed to promote inclusion??? There's no opportunity for that. I briefly considered asking for him to be put in regular sped classes because they are integrated much more and my 8yo with ASD is doing well there; I'm not sure they would know what to do with him. I wonder how much structure is TOO much though. At home a huge amount of structure doesn't work so it's looser than it used to be but if I let him know here's what we are going to do today and talk about it with pictures, I find that works, so going on unexpected trips or breaking the routine isn't as hard on him as it was with the more rigid one.

   Also wanted to say thanks for the great responses.

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