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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

I was knocked down a peg or two

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:03 AM
  • 28 Replies

My nephew was diagnosed last week.  I knew it was coming.  His parents (my brother and his ex) aren't the best parents.  They aren't horrible just not that great.  Family is turning to me to help them deal with this.  I've been trying to get my hands on info ever since.  Well I thought that some documentaries would be a good place to start.  His parents "don't read" their words not mine.  Well I watched two last night with SO.  By the end we realized this is worse than we thought it would be.  I can't show my nephew's mother those docs.  I'm at a loss.  I'm getting some books this weekend to read through and highlight for them so they don't have to sift through the info themselves.  We are also looking into other docs. I have to be very careful with the info I give them and how it's presented.  Is there anything out there that gave you positive hope/feelings toward the diagnosis? 

by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jenn8604
by Jennifer on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:09 AM
Contact autism speaks and request the 100 day kit for them. You may have to a couple times cuz so many pple get it they lose some. And you might want to tell them the importance of reading about autism for their childs sake. They need to know what therapies are best etc etc. they also need to know what autism is orthey will be like all the ignorant morons who dont have a kid w autism that always give very unhelpful advice and doing what they think is best. You cant be there 24/7 to get them thru this.You can help, but they need to get over their laziness and read.
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savedbygrace316
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you.  I told her about the 100 day kit and she said "yeah the doctor mentioned something like that."  I don't think she has requested it yet.  I'm going to try to set them in the right direction and see how they handle it.  If they don't take responsibility I'll go off.  I just want to cry for my nephew.  If he had parents like you ladies he would be in good hands.  I'm just waiting for the "he has it there's nothing we can do about it so there's no point in trying" attitude.

Quoting Jenn8604:

Contact autism speaks and request the 100 day kit for them. You may have to a couple times cuz so many pple get it they lose some. And you might want to tell them the importance of reading about autism for their childs sake. They need to know what therapies are best etc etc. they also need to know what autism is orthey will be like all the ignorant morons who dont have a kid w autism that always give very unhelpful advice and doing what they think is best. You cant be there 24/7 to get them thru this.You can help, but they need to get over their laziness and read.


newmommy430
by Silver Member on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:17 AM
You Tube videos can be helpful. You may have to sift through quite a few, but it's helpful having autism explained by someone who has it.
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momtoscott
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:18 AM
3 moms liked this

 It takes a while to accept and adjust, in my experience.  It is not going to help if they "don't read."  There's a lot to learn and both parents need to do it--there is so much information out there.  Good for you for trying to help them. 

Positives: there are a lot of adults on the spectrum who have wonderful lives.  Many of them post here regularly.  Autism is a word and doesn't change anything about the child, just gives you a set of tools and an approach that may work better.  There are resources and therapies available that will help your nephew progress.

Your brother and his ex are probably going to need to work on their parenting skills, but those are things we all learn over time.  

With a child on the spectrum, his parents need to read, whether they find this activity fun or not.  If they can't read, they need classes or tutoring so they can learn. 

Siobhan69
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm not a huge reader but with Autism you have to and I have found so much help in reading about it. There is a lot of information on the internet that you could print off for them. He will need support and therapies and will improve with these. Thank you for taking the time to help your nephew, I think that is wonderful. It's ok to cry and let your emotions out, we've all done it at one point or another. The great thing is he has you on his side and hopefully you can help guide his parents through this. Big hugs to you! 

savedbygrace316
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 11:56 AM

I never would have thought of this!  Thank you!

Quoting newmommy430:

You Tube videos can be helpful. You may have to sift through quite a few, but it's helpful having autism explained by someone who has it.


HFBMOM
by Julie on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:05 PM

Hugs to you and your nephew. This isn't a death sentence, but does need extra attention. How old is your nephew? Is he getting any therapies yet? You can advise your brother to call his local school district to request early intervention. They are required by law to help, long before kindergarden.  Offer to go with your brother to meetings and be there with him to take notes. It can be overwhelming to hear info about your own child, and having someone else there to listen can be really helpful.

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:06 PM

May I ask what was the dx and what documentaries did you watch?

I'm in a similar boat. I read verociously, and I still can't keep up.

My husband, he loves our son and is an absolutely fantastic father, but too much reading or talking about autism and it stresses him out and he says "honey, i'm supportive in what is financially feasible for us and supportive of you doing play therapy with him and if I can help, I will. But its too much talk about "autism" "

I have to read "snippits" to him of books a little bit at a time...

this is soooo hard! cry cry cry

savedbygrace316
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:07 PM

I agree.  They have gotten better but have a long way to go.  His grandmother and I basically raised him for the first year.  My brother is suppose to be giving me the info that the doctor sent home.  His ex told me that she has read through it but I don't know if my brother has.  With my nephew being from a split home we all need to be on the same page.  Before the diagnosis they had a teacher coming to the house to work on sign language.  Unfortunately my brother didn't attend these meetings so our side of the family can't use these skills when my nephew is with us.  IMO it greatly hurts his progress.

Quoting momtoscott:

 It takes a while to accept and adjust, in my experience.  It is not going to help if they "don't read."  There's a lot to learn and both parents need to do it--there is so much information out there.  Good for you for trying to help them. 

Positives: there are a lot of adults on the spectrum who have wonderful lives.  Many of them post here regularly.  Autism is a word and doesn't change anything about the child, just gives you a set of tools and an approach that may work better.  There are resources and therapies available that will help your nephew progress.

Your brother and his ex are probably going to need to work on their parenting skills, but those are things we all learn over time.  

With a child on the spectrum, his parents need to read, whether they find this activity fun or not.  If they can't read, they need classes or tutoring so they can learn. 


Leobaby2007
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:13 PM
Omg if you have a child with this you have to read and research. It's the only way to better understand your child and what needs to be done for him or her.
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