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My son doesn't play with toys!

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 1:43 AM
  • 26 Replies

I am very excited to find this forum to talk on-line to other moms about my 4 year-old son's recent Asperger diagnosis.  It drives me crazy that my son doesn't like to play with toys.  I have 3 boys and many toys and he would rather wander around the house or run back-and-forth.   I can just feel the stress hormones kick in when he starts to run and hum.  He is mild and high-functioning so he stops immediately if anything more interesting goes on - just very little toy playing.  He goes to play therapy and has improved in make believe play, he does enjoy playing pretend kitchen - but no action figures or ships or Little People castles.  It is like pulling teeth when I work with him and we play Weebles or whatever.  

Does anyone else have this issue and how do you deal with the stress?  I guess I also wonder what this means about him in the future.  How will this deficit look when he is older?

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 1:43 AM
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by Emma on Jul. 19, 2012 at 1:59 AM

Yeah. I just let my son build legos. but i'm also autistic and can't play pretend either. my DH does most of the "pretend" play around here with our kids.

i do dancing and different kind of playing.

My son and I are both classic autism.

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:42 AM

Both of my sons do not play with toys. One is ASD, and one is not. I think it depends on the kid.

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:52 AM

If he likes to play pretend kitchen, can you get him one of those little kitchens?  Maybe the'd use that.  I wouldn't worry too much about not playing with toys.  My son didn't play too much with toys either, he's getting better though.  He still doesn't play with toys with other people but once in awhile I will find him in his room playing by himself. 

It doesn't stress me out when the boys run around the house, but if I feel they need to burn off some energy I send them outside to run laps around the house.  This has helped not only my son with aspergers but also his brother. 

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 9:04 AM

As a mother of a 12 year old daughter who did pretty much the same thing when she was four...If I could go back and re do a lot over ( we didn't find out till this past year she had aspbergers) I would not stress about that.  Some things will improve when they are older...but don't stress about him not playing with toys.  You are on the right track with everything, but don't let that  bother you.  He isn't going to do the same things as your other boys.  I don't know about boys...As far as stress....find someone you can talk to that has a boy that has already gone thru what you are going thru.  What does it mean?  Days of laughter and crying and knowing that you will be dealing with this (with improvments) for a long time.  It isn't a death can help him to discover what he is good at, give him the tools to live a successful life and try to realize that you have one awesome kid on your hands.    Honestly too...lots and lots of prayer.  I don't know if this helps or not...but this is a good site for encouragement as well.  I love it and get on here when I can and ask questions...:) 

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 9:09 AM

My son has a closet full of toys that are barely touched, some have never been touched. Legos are not big with him nor were the Little People sets.  He loved his trains when he was younger, not much now. He loved puzzles and books for awhile, and when he got hooked on Scooby Doo, I bought him figures and a mystery machine.  That he will play with, occasionally other figures.  But he still plays with non-toys too, he will pick up leaves outside or a washcloth in the bath and make up some scenario with the leaves.  It's good, it's pretend play.  

Board games he likes.  I think the rules are clear and it's easier for him to figure out what he's supposed to do.

I really don't buy him almost anything at this point, unless it's something that clearly fits in with an interest of his.  Most of it sits here.   This is pretty common I think.

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 9:12 AM

Yeah, my son (age 6) has autism and doesn't play with toys often either.  Right now he is in a stuffed animal phase and will dress it, carry it with him everywhere, and pretend play with it.  His favorites are his stuffed Curious George and Woody.  He also likes to play with all kinds of balls.  There are times when he will play with other toys but it isn't an all the time thing.  I just let my son play with whatever makes him happy at the moment. 

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 12:39 PM

dont have this issue h\johny loves his ytoys but also can be destructive with non toys and toys

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 1:18 PM

I have had this same issue with my son, I am constantly diverting his attention attempting to find out what he likes.  What I did was take him to the Toy store is ToysRus and let him wander the store while I followed him.  he selected a remote car which he constantly played with when we got home and thereafter.  I have now gotten him several one's because he wears them out.  I elected to do this because he seemed to like the sounds they made......he now also likes ZUzu pets because they make a noisde too.  It is a matter of exposing them to all that you able to discovering their likes or dislikes is difficult especially when my son doesn't talk.  Then, aafter awile he started playing with the lego and built a garage for his cars. I was astounded by his ability to construct the garage all on his own.

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 1:22 PM

Yes, it is a very common thing.have a nice day

by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 1:33 PM

 My son (just turned 7) was never into toys until about a year ago.  Until then, I had the exact same concerns as you.  My husband and I have went to the extreme purchasing toys to see if they would spark his interest, and nothing ever quite did...well, except television, which brought on a whole other level of concern.   Stephen has always been the kind of child who fixates and does not deviate from what he is fixated on at the time.  So, Christmas last year, the Wii game Skylanders was released and OMG!  That was it.  And the thing is, he didn't want to "play" the game because he isn't really into gaming.  He wanted the action figures.  So, again, over the top, out of 32 figures, since Christmas, we have bought him 28 of them.  But hey, he plays!  Yay!

And now, he has a new fixation...wrestling!  Because Stephen has always been an aggressive child, not hurtful, but just needs a lot of stimulus, he new what wrestling was before he ever saw it on television.  Do not ask me how, because we do not watch wrestling (the power of advertising).  So, also at Christmas, we also bought him a wrestling ring and a couple of wrestling figures.  That's it, hands down, the most awesome thing we have ever done for him.  He is more creative, imaginative, interested, focused, than he has ever been in his entire long as he is playing with his wrestlers.  He doesn't even want to watch television now (ahhhh!!!!).

What I am trying to say is that it will probably come with time.  He will just have to find what excites him, and it will take off from there.  Right now, he is probably like Stephen, just still taking everything around him in!

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