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Less aggressive/anxious with age?

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:56 AM
  • 9 Replies
Hi, all you young adults out there with ASD or Aspergers, In your opinion, do you think my son Glen (18), will 'change' a bit as he gets older and will become more accepting of any situation he is in without becoming aggressive and anxious as he does at present. I would be interested in hearing from any young people with ASD over 18 and the parents of these young people, thanks.
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 1:56 AM
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by Gold Member on Aug. 3, 2012 at 7:29 AM

sorry. my son is still very young, but aggressive at times.

just wondering, has he ever been on any meds? is he in therapy right now? does he have the ability (or want to) to self-reflect?

(mostly this is a bump!)

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 8:44 AM

My son is younger only 14, but I have read it can go either way.  I hope it gets better though :)

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 11:02 AM

I sure hope it does.  Mines 12 and the future is scarry at times.  Hang in there.

by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 7:27 AM
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 My son is 14, but I would say that we are seeing him become less aggressive and more adaptable to change, as well as less anxious as his confidence in himself has grown. 

The downside is that when he does blow, he is bigger and stronger and things can get quite scary.  We can almost always talk him down from his meltdowns these days, however, and there is a conscious element in them where he seems to be able to stop himself from going too far.  It helps that we have worked very, very hard on giving him alternatives (leave the situation to calm down, punch the mattress, don't throw your radio on the floor, etc.) and post-meltdown consequences of not replacing things broken in anger. 

I think our faith in him and his ability to control himself and take risks has helped him believe more in himself, too. 

by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:26 PM
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My brother got less aggressive when he got older. He started getting aggressive in his early teens. He is now 27 and he is not aggressive at all. I think the hormones have something to do with it sometimes.
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by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:36 PM

My husband we now know was undx aspie and he is the gentlest man with only very ocassional anger fits!!

by Emma on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:56 PM

It depends on how functioning he is I guess.

I know that temple grandin has said she's less anxious/aggressive as an adult, but she also takes an anti-depressent/anxiety medication.

I was stressed out when I was younger because i had zero stability and didn't know what was wrong with me, so I was anxious over that. Having a stable environment definitely made that anxiety go away.

I only get a little nervous about new things now, but it's logical for me because I have hard time understanding what's about to happen in a new situation until I've done it a few times.

The older I get, the more laid back, and mellow I get. I also had to actively choose to let things go and work with my brain to stop and think and process before reacting.

having a way to communicate properly with others really,really helped.

I haven't had a meltdown of any significance in years before of having writing to talk to my husband about feelings, thoughts and concerns.... but it took having that with him before I had ways to properly and effectively communicate to resolve a lot of that.

by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:41 PM


by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:46 PM
Thanks so much for all the replies, I really appreciate everything you've all said. I do hope that glen does become less aggressive as he gets older, I do feel hormones has a lot to do with it. So hopefully in the next few years glen will calm down more.
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