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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Can someone please help me I feel like i'm going to explode

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:11 PM
  • 19 Replies

 Okay so lets see I may ramble a bit cause I dont know where to start.

My son has been having so many issues lately first off I took him to a movie theater awhile back and it had an automatic flusher to it well it flushed when he sat down so he flipped. We go out in public if he has to poop it takes me forever to get him to sit down on there usally with so much screaming and crying the people in the next stall swear im clubbing him to death. I don't know how to break this and whats worse is now hes bringing it inside the home he just had an accident tonight because he refused to sit down on the toilet. I just dont know what to do anymore? Ive tried time outs I have tried nicely sitting with him I have tried everything tonight its to the point where he went to bed and is staying there no tv no 3ds no NOTHING!!

He is soooo over the top dramatic it is ridicolous he just gets to where he shuts down and wont try so much so he got himself put into the special education class last year. NOW here is why that aggrevates me I swear my son is on some genuis level and does this shit on purpose I go over things with him and he tries to pull his moods with me and I say knock it off or go to bed sure as fast as I say that BAM he knows everything I have just asked him. He can do every problem I just asked but if I let him do it by himself he don't care. I would love to homeschool him but with noone to watch him and me working it really just does not work out for me.

When it comes to kids oh lord.... I sent him to summer camp thinking oh hey he will play with some kids NOPE he has to be all alone. He dont want anything to do with them so I pay $90.00 a week for him to play in some dirt ALONE!!! WTF? I tried play dates coming to school parties and having him interact but he makes himself so much of an outcast he gets picked on cause the other kids think he is just being mean.??????Where do I go from here on that one????

Ive tried every way to make learning fun I have tried set schedules I have tried so much I just want to cry with some of his stuff cause I dont know where to go, what to do or nothing????? Can someone please give me some advice?????

by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HFBMOM
by Julie on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:22 PM

Welcome to the group! How old is your son? He sounds a bit like my 13 yr old aspie son. I don't have great words of wisdom for you except try to take a step back. My son is more successful now that we have a dx and I don't yell nearly as much. I can't tell you how much money I've spent on classes and camps and he refuses to leave the house. If you got your son outside and to his camp, you are one step ahead of me. The ladies in this group have tons of experience and are very supportive. I know someone will have some good advice.

TheCrooners
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:34 PM
What is his diagnosis and how old is he?
greenmommo
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:34 PM
3 moms liked this
Hi! Take a deep breath! I know it seems like he's being dramatic, but I promise it's not for nothing. On the toliet, you had a setback and it will take time to fix it. Timeouts for pottying, in my experience makes it worse. What does he like? Stickers? Candy? Give rewards for sitting on the potty (trying) and for going (doing).

On the camp-yeah, for someone who has a hard time making friends, it's a nightmare. It's like throwing you into a foriegn country without the language skills or customs or training. Think in terms of preparation first. What would you do if you were going to live in a foreign country? Social Skills groups? Behavioral therapy? Lots and lots of practice with rewards for trying and giving specific feedback "oh, that was good when you let him take the toy for a turn-good sharing" etc. (sorry, I'm not sure of age).
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laurag8707
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:48 PM

 Hi Ladies thank you for the adivce my son is 6 he has only been diagnosed with educational autisim I lost my insurance when I lost my job I get it back next week through this new job so I will be taking him to the doctor as soon as I get it.

 

laurag8707
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:50 PM

 Sorry I forgot to add that in my post I did tell him one time when I was registering him for school and he started to have a potty meltdown I would give him a resses and magically he went. My problem with that is I feel like I am just encouraging his behavior if he thinks he can do that then he gets a piece of candy??? I dont know he sure did remember that resses though when I forgot about it lol!

Quoting greenmommo:

Hi! Take a deep breath! I know it seems like he's being dramatic, but I promise it's not for nothing. On the toliet, you had a setback and it will take time to fix it. Timeouts for pottying, in my experience makes it worse. What does he like? Stickers? Candy? Give rewards for sitting on the potty (trying) and for going (doing).

On the camp-yeah, for someone who has a hard time making friends, it's a nightmare. It's like throwing you into a foriegn country without the language skills or customs or training. Think in terms of preparation first. What would you do if you were going to live in a foreign country? Social Skills groups? Behavioral therapy? Lots and lots of practice with rewards for trying and giving specific feedback "oh, that was good when you let him take the toy for a turn-good sharing" etc. (sorry, I'm not sure of age).

 

greenmommo
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:14 PM
2 moms liked this
In behavior therapy, they are all about the positive rewards. And really, it's the only thing I've found that works. You work on problem areas and you start phasing it out after a while. I don't think it's encouraging bad behaviors at all. We set up a whole reward system with my daughter and it's been working really well. I have a post on here discussing a positive reward system if you want to look at it. It's not my ideas, but rather ideas we got from intensive parent training.


Quoting laurag8707:

 Sorry I forgot to add that in my post I did tell him one time when I was registering him for school and he started to have a potty meltdown I would give him a resses and magically he went. My problem with that is I feel like I am just encouraging his behavior if he thinks he can do that then he gets a piece of candy??? I dont know he sure did remember that resses though when I forgot about it lol!


Quoting greenmommo:

Hi! Take a deep breath! I know it seems like he's being dramatic, but I promise it's not for nothing. On the toliet, you had a setback and it will take time to fix it. Timeouts for pottying, in my experience makes it worse. What does he like? Stickers? Candy? Give rewards for sitting on the potty (trying) and for going (doing).

On the camp-yeah, for someone who has a hard time making friends, it's a nightmare. It's like throwing you into a foriegn country without the language skills or customs or training. Think in terms of preparation first. What would you do if you were going to live in a foreign country? Social Skills groups? Behavioral therapy? Lots and lots of practice with rewards for trying and giving specific feedback "oh, that was good when you let him take the toy for a turn-good sharing" etc. (sorry, I'm not sure of age).

 


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laurag8707
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:17 PM

 Thanks hon I will be taking a look I am open to trying anything at this point.

Quoting greenmommo:

In behavior therapy, they are all about the positive rewards. And really, it's the only thing I've found that works. You work on problem areas and you start phasing it out after a while. I don't think it's encouraging bad behaviors at all. We set up a whole reward system with my daughter and it's been working really well. I have a post on here discussing a positive reward system if you want to look at it. It's not my ideas, but rather ideas we got from intensive parent training.


Quoting laurag8707:

 Sorry I forgot to add that in my post I did tell him one time when I was registering him for school and he started to have a potty meltdown I would give him a resses and magically he went. My problem with that is I feel like I am just encouraging his behavior if he thinks he can do that then he gets a piece of candy??? I dont know he sure did remember that resses though when I forgot about it lol!


Quoting greenmommo:

Hi! Take a deep breath! I know it seems like he's being dramatic, but I promise it's not for nothing. On the toliet, you had a setback and it will take time to fix it. Timeouts for pottying, in my experience makes it worse. What does he like? Stickers? Candy? Give rewards for sitting on the potty (trying) and for going (doing).

On the camp-yeah, for someone who has a hard time making friends, it's a nightmare. It's like throwing you into a foriegn country without the language skills or customs or training. Think in terms of preparation first. What would you do if you were going to live in a foreign country? Social Skills groups? Behavioral therapy? Lots and lots of practice with rewards for trying and giving specific feedback "oh, that was good when you let him take the toy for a turn-good sharing" etc. (sorry, I'm not sure of age).

 


 

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:19 PM

give him the recess piece. and smile. and hug. it will create a much more connected environment between you two.

everything has a reason. sometimes it is testing, but it just needs consistent reinforcement.

This article I think might help. It tells what its like to be autistic: http://www.webmd.com/brain/features/understanding-autism-symptoms

hugs mom and welcome to the group.

Aspiemom0203
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:23 PM
Hi! I know it can be so difficult at times. Just keep in mind as much as you want things for him like friends, he may be perfectly happy being by himself. It took a while for me to accept that. As far as the insurance, next time you are without insurance or just need help with therapy cost consider SSI. I know how the days go when you just want to pull out your hair. Is he getting additional help outside of school and of course you? Welcome to the group!!!
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laurag8707
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:41 PM

 No he isnt getting additional help I need to find something my problem is my area is so limited on everything soon we are moving to a bigger area closer to saint louis missouri and will have plenty more resources. How does the ssi work? Do I have to get a doctor to diagnose him first? He's the first one on my side to have any problems like this and none of my friends have kids like him so its all a whole new world to me!! Thanks!!

Quoting Aspiemom0203:

Hi! I know it can be so difficult at times. Just keep in mind as much as you want things for him like friends, he may be perfectly happy being by himself. It took a while for me to accept that. As far as the insurance, next time you are without insurance or just need help with therapy cost consider SSI. I know how the days go when you just want to pull out your hair. Is he getting additional help outside of school and of course you? Welcome to the group!!!

 

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