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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Can someone please help me I feel like i'm going to explode

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 Okay so lets see I may ramble a bit cause I dont know where to start.

My son has been having so many issues lately first off I took him to a movie theater awhile back and it had an automatic flusher to it well it flushed when he sat down so he flipped. We go out in public if he has to poop it takes me forever to get him to sit down on there usally with so much screaming and crying the people in the next stall swear im clubbing him to death. I don't know how to break this and whats worse is now hes bringing it inside the home he just had an accident tonight because he refused to sit down on the toilet. I just dont know what to do anymore? Ive tried time outs I have tried nicely sitting with him I have tried everything tonight its to the point where he went to bed and is staying there no tv no 3ds no NOTHING!!

He is soooo over the top dramatic it is ridicolous he just gets to where he shuts down and wont try so much so he got himself put into the special education class last year. NOW here is why that aggrevates me I swear my son is on some genuis level and does this shit on purpose I go over things with him and he tries to pull his moods with me and I say knock it off or go to bed sure as fast as I say that BAM he knows everything I have just asked him. He can do every problem I just asked but if I let him do it by himself he don't care. I would love to homeschool him but with noone to watch him and me working it really just does not work out for me.

When it comes to kids oh lord.... I sent him to summer camp thinking oh hey he will play with some kids NOPE he has to be all alone. He dont want anything to do with them so I pay $90.00 a week for him to play in some dirt ALONE!!! WTF? I tried play dates coming to school parties and having him interact but he makes himself so much of an outcast he gets picked on cause the other kids think he is just being mean.??????Where do I go from here on that one????

Ive tried every way to make learning fun I have tried set schedules I have tried so much I just want to cry with some of his stuff cause I dont know where to go, what to do or nothing????? Can someone please give me some advice?????

by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:11 PM
Replies (11-19):
TheCrooners
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:42 PM
He is very young. Dealing with sensory issues is very complicated because they vary so widely. If you understand your son's sensory triggers you can then try various methods on alleviating his symptoms. If he is sensitive to lighting, sunglasses will help. If he has auditory issues earplugs can help.

Obviously the noise from the flushing toilet and possibly the spray of water on his skin affected him strongly. You're just going to have to either avoid those bathrooms or take time to teach him how they work. That is going to take a lot of talk and prep before and during using the bathroom and a huge reward after no matter if he was successful or not. Reward for the attemp. I'd start with just visiting the bathroom to wash his hands and continue to encourage him that it is a safe environment and nothing will happen that is out of his control. Did I mention how much patience you're going to need?! lol

The only other thing that I could offer up as advice is that as strange and confusing as you find your son's behavior he is also experiencing about you and the world around him.

That's all I got for now. But welcome to the group. I look forward to hearing more about you and your son!
mcclanto
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I have a 7 year old Aspie.  He has bathroom problems.  I think he and your son have so much in common.  He is very intelligent, but getting him to do his schoolwork is a nightmare.  He has his own teacher's aide that sits with him during all academic work that makes sure he completes all assignments.  Perhaps you can get something similar in your son's IEP. This year we plan to slowly let the teacher's aide back off so he can become more independent.  It will be a slow process.

As for the bathroom issues.  I did punish him for it in the past, but it never worked.  Now I just praise him when he goes in the potty.  When he has an accident I just talk to him about how he needs to listen to his body.  It is working.  He has only had one accident in a month.

When he first started school he would not use the bathroom.  He is very sensitive to smell.  It is in his IEP that he is taken to a bathroom in the school office twice a day.  He hasn't had anymore accidents at school.

laurag8707
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:54 PM

 Yes our sons do sound a like there are only certain bathrooms my son will use in the school. A teachers aide last year tried to take him to a different bathroom and he had such an extreme meltdown they had to call me to come get him.

Quoting mcclanto:

I have a 7 year old Aspie.  He has bathroom problems.  I think he and your son have so much in common.  He is very intelligent, but getting him to do his schoolwork is a nightmare.  He has his own teacher's aide that sits with him during all academic work that makes sure he completes all assignments.  Perhaps you can get something similar in your son's IEP. This year we plan to slowly let the teacher's aide back off so he can become more independent.  It will be a slow process.

As for the bathroom issues.  I did punish him for it in the past, but it never worked.  Now I just praise him when he goes in the potty.  When he has an accident I just talk to him about how he needs to listen to his body.  It is working.  He has only had one accident in a month.

When he first started school he would not use the bathroom.  He is very sensitive to smell.  It is in his IEP that he is taken to a bathroom in the school office twice a day.  He hasn't had anymore accidents at school.

 

laurag8707
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 7:55 PM

 Thankyou for all your advice ladies its nice to not feel alone on it!! :)

Aspiemom0203
by on Aug. 7, 2012 at 8:17 PM
Yes a diagnosis I think and may be based on income. I haven't tried yet, but I am seriously considering it to get additional help outside of what insurance covers. From what I read they will do additional evaluations and the income cut off is not terribly low. It should last until age 18, when they would need to reapply if they still need it. My concern is if he does need the help I believe it will be easier for him to get it when he's 18.


Quoting laurag8707:

 No he isnt getting additional help I need to find something my problem is my area is so limited on everything soon we are moving to a bigger area closer to saint louis missouri and will have plenty more resources. How does the ssi work? Do I have to get a doctor to diagnose him first? He's the first one on my side to have any problems like this and none of my friends have kids like him so its all a whole new world to me!! Thanks!!


Quoting Aspiemom0203:

Hi! I know it can be so difficult at times. Just keep in mind as much as you want things for him like friends, he may be perfectly happy being by himself. It took a while for me to accept that. As far as the insurance, next time you are without insurance or just need help with therapy cost consider SSI. I know how the days go when you just want to pull out your hair. Is he getting additional help outside of school and of course you? Welcome to the group!!!

 


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laurag8707
by Member on Aug. 7, 2012 at 8:57 PM

 Thankyou I am defintely going to look into this one!!

Quoting Aspiemom0203:

Yes a diagnosis I think and may be based on income. I haven't tried yet, but I am seriously considering it to get additional help outside of what insurance covers. From what I read they will do additional evaluations and the income cut off is not terribly low. It should last until age 18, when they would need to reapply if they still need it. My concern is if he does need the help I believe it will be easier for him to get it when he's 18.


Quoting laurag8707:

 No he isnt getting additional help I need to find something my problem is my area is so limited on everything soon we are moving to a bigger area closer to saint louis missouri and will have plenty more resources. How does the ssi work? Do I have to get a doctor to diagnose him first? He's the first one on my side to have any problems like this and none of my friends have kids like him so its all a whole new world to me!! Thanks!!


Quoting Aspiemom0203:

Hi! I know it can be so difficult at times. Just keep in mind as much as you want things for him like friends, he may be perfectly happy being by himself. It took a while for me to accept that. As far as the insurance, next time you are without insurance or just need help with therapy cost consider SSI. I know how the days go when you just want to pull out your hair. Is he getting additional help outside of school and of course you? Welcome to the group!!!

 


 

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on Aug. 7, 2012 at 9:15 PM

welcome to the group! you got alot of good advice already, I like the small candy reward idea.

riri732
by on Aug. 8, 2012 at 10:34 PM
Welcome! I have an 11 yr old with Aspergers. I can tell you his fear of the toilet is legitimate which is why it will take a lot of patience on your part. For yrs my son was afraid of the automatic hand dyers and toilets in bathrooms. Was a short period where, I guess, it made him afraid of our own bathroom. It has passed. He went thru a period of being afraid of people with sleeveless shirts because he thought they would make a farting noise under their armpit, this was bought on by someone doing it unexpectedly in front of him do he feared all sleeveless shirts. He also ent thru a period of being afraid of people with white hair. With Aspies it is a sensory thing that can come out of left field. While we may never understand it, I know I get further with him when I acknowledge it.
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riri732
by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:11 PM
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