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Telling my son he has Asperger's????

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Can anyone help me I am stuck and very scared to tell my son who will be 12 years old soon he has Asperrger's. He is a great kid and over the summer things have come up and I feel like I could be holding him back if I don't tell him so he can know himself. But scared as hec what if I destroy his whole being? what if he feels he is a loser, everything is so black and white to him he could just see this as a terrible thing and not get past it. OMG! tons of things running threw my head can anyone tell me their experience's or what they did? I am a single mom his Dad is around and will support what I say but no help as far as actually doing..

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Replies (21-29):
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:47 AM

 well in your case its very hard to tell him that being that he is 12 but you know the old saying its a time and place for everything you as the parent have to figure out the perfect timing and maybe you should print up somethings for him and yall can look over it together as you explain it to him whats going on to be honest there is never any type of preparation for these type of situtions ....and if you need anything im here

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:31 AM

Thank you so much!

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 10:37 AM

Thankyou for your reply, I am really caught on, should I tell him or counseler?  Don't want to over think but want to make him comfortable as possible.

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 3:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Are you sure he doesn't know already?  My son is 3 and he knows he has autism.  

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 4:07 PM

I had 'the chat" about autism with my 14 yr old this weekend, explaining why we are going to home school for another year and why we had him take some extra tests lately and what the doctor thinks (we don't have results yet). He seemed OK and reassured that yes he is different but yes there is a physical reason for it, and it is not his fault and it is something we can get treatment for and get specialists to teach him special ways to handle himself


by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 5:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so grateful for this post and this discussion, my son is 5 and we just got his dx two weeks ago. We weren't sure how to tell him - thank you for all of the book recommendations and websites. Such a great community! So lucky to have found CafeMom :)

by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 9:50 AM
2 moms liked this

Of course, you should tell him!  Both my daughter and granddaughter are Aspies.  Not only are they "different," but they are wonderful people.  They excel in ways the rest of us don't.  It's a trade-off, just like we all have.  My daughter has a master's degree in mathematics.  Often, they lead very successful lives with encouragement and understanding from their families.  Early intervention saved my granddaughter from a lot of struggle, and I strongly advise it.  I often refer to my granddaughter as "Mr. Spock."  She is logical and ordered, and it is hard for her to understand anything else.  

Not telling him is unfair.  He will be an Aspie all his life.  The sooner he learns to understand his world and use it to his advantage, the better.

by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 10:45 AM

My son is only 5 and full classic asd and i have planned not to hold back .cause they know they are different

by Emma on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:38 AM

My 8 1/2 year old knows he's autistic, and knows i'm autistic. I want him to grow up understanding himself and why he's different and why people terat him different.

I feel that knowing and understanding yourself is HUGE. I went my entire childhood being able to tell I was different and not knowing why. It was horrible not being able to understand why I had to do things differently than others.

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