My son is almost 5 (October 9). He just started Kindergarten (Hawaii has a really late bday cut off-in Dec) and is not potty trained. He is very high functioning and too smart for his own good. His diagnosis is PDD-NOS (some paperwork says that or Autistic Disorder), borderline ADD and Dyspraxia of Speech.
He's the only child in kindergarten not potty trained and his sped teacher told me that as of Monday, they want to just underwear train. To send several pairs of underwear and some extra clothes.
It's giving me a lot of anxiety about doing this to him in school. Today he's been in underwear all day. I'm put him on the potty every 20 minutes for 5 minutes at a time. I ask him constantly if he needs to pee-pee and tell him no pee-pee in his underwear.
About 13 minutes after the last time he sat on the potty, I have my alarm set for every 20 minutes to put him on the toilet, he stood up from the couch and was saying yuck and groaning. He had peed all over the couch (which is microfiber, dh is going to lose it if he finds out I let him sit on the couch in just undies). I cleaned it up, explained to him not to pee-pee in his underwear and to only pee-pee on the potty. Then we changed his undies.
I don't feel like this is teaching him anything other than Mommy is going to clean up after him if he pees all over himself. He's extremely smart and dh feels he's just being lazy (dh has not been active with anything that has to do with his diagnosis, appts, therapy, etc) and his teacher sort of implied it by saying he is more than ready and that after they put him on the potty in school, he holds it until they put a new pull up on and then he pees.
I feel like a failure for not having him potty trained by now. I know he's special needs (and a boy) but he's so smart and catches on to everything so quickly because of his rote memory.
*side note*
As I was typing this I went to check him and he peed on himself again. He's been telling me "pee-pee on the potty, no pee-pee in the underwear" which is what I've been telling him all day. Yet he still pees in his underwear.
I don't understand.
What am I doing wrong??????
Have him help clean up and change himself when he goes in his pants. That is all I can offer. Good luck. I am potty training too, but my dd is 2.
Quoting 03071012:
I live in Hawaii too.
Have him help clean up and change himself when he goes in his pants. That is all I can offer. Good luck. I am potty training too, but my dd is 2.
That's what I've been doing. He even just peed while he was sitting at the table eating lunch. He wasn't happy that I had him help me clean the chair off, but he did it. I just don't feel like this is right or that it's teaching him anything at all. He clearly understands to pee on the potty and not to pee in his underwear...but I don't understand why he isn't following through with actions.
Don't mistake intelligence for readyness and comprehension. Have his ped check him out for any medical issues. Then a sticker chart or use his perseveration to reward him (legos work well here). :). Also ask him why he goes in his pants. Maybe fear of the potty? Mike didn't like the flush.
I agree that punishing is a bad idea. My dd is very high functioning and very smart. She was 4 when she potty trained. If he has dyspraxia/autism it is very likely he has some other sensory issues. It is possible he doesnt know he has to go until the last second. If at all. Or maybe it is a communication delay or some aversion. It will happen!
My son was 5 when he was potty trained. If it was up to him, he'd still be in diapers, and he is 10 now. He wanted nothing to do with the potty. One day, I was like, dude, you're 5. Your brother is 3 and completely potty trained. You're going in underwear tomorrow. He fussed, and fussed, and fussed. I put those underwear on him, and he had a few accidents. Fortunately for me, he didn't like the feeling of being wet so he potty trained fast. The problem we ran into was he was holding bowel movements. I bought some suppositories. After giving him 1 of those, he started having bowel movements on the potty. He absolutely hated getting that suppository.
I am currently going through the same stress with Jason (he is 3 and 3 months and I have trying to potty train since January). He understands the mechanics and has on various times done #2 in the tiolet but can never tell me he has to go and just goes on a scripted speech of what I tell him . Lately it seems as he is tramatized by the toilet so Ive decided to leave it alone until he starts preschool in Sept. Good luck to you
We have tried the different types of pull ups. They don't do anything and a few times he even called them diapers. His teacher says they put him on the potty 3 times a day in school and every time he holds it until they put a pull up and then he pees. He's extremely smart, he knows he shouldn't be peeing in his underwear. And I'm not going to punish him because then he may become too scared to even go or tell me and just hold it all day until bedtime (which he will continue to wear a pull up at that time). He understands what I am saying and clearly repeats it back to me, so I know I'm not using too many words. Maybe I'll make a call to his dr, he has an appt coming up but I need to reschedule because my husband has an important class all day for 4 days and the appt is on one of those days.
It's not a matter of intelligence. Many children on the spectrum have sensory issues that interfere with the normal sensations most of experience letting us know we have to use the bathroom. Rather than take him every 20 minutes maybe you should first make a log of the time he normally goes. That way you are not just taking him to the bathroom for no reason. If he normally goes 15 minutes after dinner, for example, then take him to the toilet 10 minutes after dinner and find a way to get him to stay on there for at least 15 minutes. My son watches videos on a portable DVD player.
Sometimes I feel DD will never be able to be on her own :( (accidentally posted in another group as well)
- FormerlyFriday
on Aug. 11, 2012 at 6:12 PM