My son is almost 5 (October 9). He just started Kindergarten (Hawaii has a really late bday cut off-in Dec) and is not potty trained. He is very high functioning and too smart for his own good. His diagnosis is PDD-NOS (some paperwork says that or Autistic Disorder), borderline ADD and Dyspraxia of Speech.
He's the only child in kindergarten not potty trained and his sped teacher told me that as of Monday, they want to just underwear train. To send several pairs of underwear and some extra clothes.
It's giving me a lot of anxiety about doing this to him in school. Today he's been in underwear all day. I'm put him on the potty every 20 minutes for 5 minutes at a time. I ask him constantly if he needs to pee-pee and tell him no pee-pee in his underwear.
About 13 minutes after the last time he sat on the potty, I have my alarm set for every 20 minutes to put him on the toilet, he stood up from the couch and was saying yuck and groaning. He had peed all over the couch (which is microfiber, dh is going to lose it if he finds out I let him sit on the couch in just undies). I cleaned it up, explained to him not to pee-pee in his underwear and to only pee-pee on the potty. Then we changed his undies.
I don't feel like this is teaching him anything other than Mommy is going to clean up after him if he pees all over himself. He's extremely smart and dh feels he's just being lazy (dh has not been active with anything that has to do with his diagnosis, appts, therapy, etc) and his teacher sort of implied it by saying he is more than ready and that after they put him on the potty in school, he holds it until they put a new pull up on and then he pees.
I feel like a failure for not having him potty trained by now. I know he's special needs (and a boy) but he's so smart and catches on to everything so quickly because of his rote memory.
As I was typing this I went to check him and he peed on himself again. He's been telling me "pee-pee on the potty, no pee-pee in the underwear" which is what I've been telling him all day. Yet he still pees in his underwear.
I don't understand.
What am I doing wrong??????