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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

need advice please.... and please dont judge or bash or think im horrible!

Posted by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:25 PM
  • 56 Replies

 

Okay im very nervous posting this, but mabey you ladies will understand (man i wish there was an anoymous button for this group somtimes)

ive had a problem with jude thats reoccuring and no matter how much i try to change its just so hard to

when holding judes hand (or well wrist because he wont let me hold his actual hand most of the time or he ends up squirming away when im holding his hand)

so i hold his wrist when walking to the truck, out in public, in the house when leading him somewhere'

well as you guys should understand alot of the time he fights it

his fight ends up with him throwing himself down, and as he throws himself down i still have ahold of his wrist (because if i let go he runs off)

he also does this not fighting he will jump then not put his feet back down and just fall to the ground (he thinks its a game)

well in doing this the repeatative pulling on his wrist (though it doesnt seem to hurt him) is leaving marks, this has been happening off and on for months.)

i have tried remebering to just carry him everywhere but as you ladys know thats difficult, and i do want him to be able to be trusted to walk just holding someones hand

but it seems impossible.

and when i see these marks on his wrists it makes me feel absolutely horrible, i mean everyone (grandparents friends ect have commented on his sensitive skin) but what if someone sees those and doesnt know?

i need suggestions. its hard to pick him up alot of the time without grabbing him somewhere first to do so, he fights me at every turn (as you guys have read from previus posts)

ive honestly brought up trying to find some type of wrap nthat lets you (as the term puts it baby wear) but basically like a wrap that holds him to my chest or back )

but amber mentioned if i would happen to find one big enough to fit him, he would just kick hit and bite the crap out of me.

i just dont know what to do because carrying him around is a struggle

geting him in a postion that allows me to pick him up easily is almost impossible without grabbing one of his arms first.

ive considered geting wristbands (sweat bands) to kind of cusion his wrists but i dont know if he would even leave them on, or if its even a good idea.

i need ideas mamas im desprate!

i don't want to hurt him or even look like im hurting him!

please tell me one of you moms know what im talking about

and please tell me im not horrible for letting this happen!

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Paperfishies
by Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm almost always anti leash...but if there is ever a case for leasing a child, this may be it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Hottubgodess
by Jackie on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:32 PM
I agree. Leash backpack. :). They come in all sorts of animals.

We won't bash here! We GET it. ((hugs)).

Look into a MAYA wrap. You can also make one if you google patterns. Pretty easy. You can also use it as a leash per se.


Quoting Paperfishies:

I'm almost always anti leash...but if there is ever a case for leasing a child, this may be it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jb022210
by Bronze Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:34 PM


Quoting Paperfishies:

I'm almost always anti leash...but if there is ever a case for leasing a child, this may be it.


we use to have a monkey leash for him but we tossed it saying we would never use it (it was given to us) and i have a feeling or well i can almost gaurntee he would just throw himself down while wearing it and then what? pull him up by the leash? no, i wont do that. one it seems almost inhumane, hes not a dog, and 2 its very unstable to pull him up by a leash. and trying to pick him up comes the same problem, having trouble picking him up when he fights me. *sigh* i just wish i could figure out some nice humane harmless way of keeping my child with me and safe without hurting him or holding him 100% of the time.

jb022210
by Bronze Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:35 PM


Quoting Hottubgodess:

I agree. Leash backpack. :). They come in all sorts of animals.

We won't bash here! We GET it. ((hugs)).

Look into a MAYA wrap. You can also make one if you google patterns. Pretty easy. You can also use it as a leash per se.


Quoting Paperfishies:

I'm almost always anti leash...but if there is ever a case for leasing a child, this may be it.

whats a maya wrap? andif its what im thinking does it forward face? cuz if he faces me hes just gunna kick hit and bite me, if hes forward facing at least it would be harder for him to do that.

Hottubgodess
by Jackie on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:37 PM
It is a long piece of clothe that you can carry him in all sorts of positions. My boys liked the front outface carry, as well as back carry.

Quoting jb022210:



Quoting Hottubgodess:

I agree. Leash backpack. :). They come in all sorts of animals.

We won't bash here! We GET it. ((hugs)).

Look into a MAYA wrap. You can also make one if you google patterns. Pretty easy. You can also use it as a leash per se.



Quoting Paperfishies:

I'm almost always anti leash...but if there is ever a case for leasing a child, this may be it.

whats a maya wrap? andif its what im thinking does it forward face? cuz if he faces me hes just gunna kick hit and bite me, if hes forward facing at least it would be harder for him to do that.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Hottubgodess
by Jackie on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:37 PM
I also used mine to secure them to chairs
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Paperfishies
by Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:40 PM
When he throws himself down what about wrapping him up in a blanket, tightly and holding him for a minute?

What about using a stroller?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
BaBeezandMe
by Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I have Autistic twins and yes I put safety harness's on them when they outgrew the stroller!!  It was the ONLY way to keep them with me and safe.  BTW, they ARE NOT leashes, they are safety harness's....there is a difference....this is JMHO!!

jb022210
by Bronze Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:41 PM


Quoting Hottubgodess:

I also used mine to secure them to chairs

i just told amber about it and she said for one i cant carry 30 extra pounds on me at all times, and that 2 he would litterally kick my kindneys out. any other ideas?

03071012
by Bronze Member on Aug. 11, 2012 at 9:43 PM

R fights having her hand held as well. She doesn't get to walk much. She is either in a stroller, or Ergo carrier at all times (or a cart, but those are dangerous for her as she won't sit and tries to climb out, even if I buckle her). I have a leash, but then she pulls on it so hard that she falls over or will plant her feet and refuse to walk. 

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