I met a 21 year old with Aspergers on Sunday

[MomOfOneCoolKid]

I went to a support group for parents of kids with special kids.

All the moms and dads there were super sweet and nice.

I met a sweet 12 yr old with downs syndrome and a 21 year old with Aspergers.

 

I know no two autistic people are a like but I did not expect what I met.

Other than my son, I don't know anybody or anybody's kid who is on the spectrum.

 

This wonderful young man just graduated from the local community college and will be going to a 4 year state university!! Awesome!

 

With this young man, it was markedly noticeable. He was slow to respond. Awkward and robotic in speaking. Fleeting eye contact. Honestly, I was taken back because knowing that he was going to a 4 year state university, I thought in passing no one would be able to notice. That wasn't the case in his case.

 

I wondered if that is what my son would be like when he reached 21. I hope he goes to a 4 year state university like this wonderful young man.

 

My son is only 3 almost 4. To me, I think the "outside" world views him as a bit inattentive and a bit rambuctious but manageable and still within age behavior. If your child is older, is their autism noticeable? (I hope that's not offensive. My pre-conceived notion of aspergers and hfa is that it is barely noticeable) 

[3mx2mom]

My son is going on 11 in October. It is becoming more and more noticable the older he gets especially since he still acts like a 4 year old in a lot of ways.

[mallowcup17]

selenas quirks definitely are more noticeable and sometimes her inappropriate behavior to her age but she is getting better at coping. i can say that my quirks are a lot more noticeable now. i speak very scripted, my responses are super slow and its really hard for me to carry on a convo but i do it. i have learned to accomidate to situations that are or were at one point painful and those that are still really hard - like walmart cuz of their lighting and odd crowdflow and other such places i only go to sparingly.

college for me was actually easier socially then high school because i could set my own schedule which helps me have control and predictability in my life and being blunt was actually encouraged. 

i think your son will be fine! just keep working with him and loving him for who he is! 

[greenmommo]

Nicole is almost 10. It is noticeable, bit unless you are familiar, you don't know quite how-if that makes sense. Very awkward walk (I still have it too-I break so many heals!) and just an odd posture and a silly grin that is often inappropriate.

I know a guy (40 now) who has Aspergers, and I actually called him a robot when I first started getting to know him. He didn't find it offensive-said many people say that.

My dd is the opposite of that-full of expression and over-exaggeration.

[mallowcup17]

selena is like nicole in that regard too - very overexaggerated.

i on the other hand am a robot. but i definitely have the goofy grin and odd posture all the time...it drove my mom NUTS when i was a kid but shes over it now lol. 

Quoting greenmommo:

Nicole is almost 10. It is noticeable, bit unless you are familiar, you don't know quite how-if that makes sense. Very awkward walk (I still have it too-I break so many heals!) and just an odd posture and a silly grin that is often inappropriate.

I know a guy (40 now) who has Aspergers, and I actually called him a robot when I first started getting to know him. He didn't find it offensive-said many people say that.

My dd is the opposite of that-full of expression and over-exaggeration.

[Leissaintexas]

My 23 yr old ds works a full time job and takes an occasional course at a comm college. His particular quirks are a lot less noticeable now than when he was in high school. His coping skills got so much better after he got out of the toxic environment that is high school. Had he been diagnosed earlier, he would be even better off, but I'd never heard of Aspetgers until he was nearly 11. So we were late to get him help. Before it was so unbelievably obvious that something was wrong with this kid.

[l3randixo]

My daughter is only 2, so its hard to know whats baby and whats autism even tho its getting easier, I often wonder what she will be like when she older. :)

[leprechaunmaide]

My son just turned 13 and you can notice some very stilted speech and extreme focus on his favorite subjects but he is getting better about the eye contact. Many times he acts like he is 5 and doesn't really have any empathy for anyone other than me, my husband, or his brother.  It is very hard for him to understand when someone is being mean to him or using him. Other times he thinks someone is being mean when they are just being friendly, but he doesn't know the proper response so he feels 'put on the spot'.  This does give me hope for him in the future though.

[MomOfOneCoolKid]

Quoting TheCrooners:

In some ways yes and in others no. Both my sons are very social (12 yr old Autie & 10 yr old Aspie) and make appropriate eye contact. My oldest is very geeky and he is sometimes slow in his speech as he is processing what he hears then coming up with a response. He will occasionally bust out in a groove when he is excited (hands flapping, toe stepping).

My youngest hand flaps as well but mostly when he is frustrated and not usually in public. He has no speech issues, or clumsy gait when walking. But he is loud when he talks and he really enjoys talking and lecturing about all manner of geeky things.

Right off the bat you wouldn't notice anything different about them. But they are quirky, very polite, very forward and uninhibited. They both also know they are autistic and I have taught them how to handle when others comment on their weirdness. We embrace the terms, weird, geek, nerd and freak in my home so don't really care if anyone notices we are super freaks or not. LOL

I'm not autistic but I would have benefitted from a pep talk like that when I was a kid/tween/teen/ and young adult :)

[MomOfOneCoolKid]

Quoting leprechaunmaide:

My son just turned 13 and you can notice some very stilted speech and extreme focus on his favorite subjects but he is getting better about the eye contact. Many times he acts like he is 5 and doesn't really have any empathy for anyone other than me, my husband, or his brother.  It is very hard for him to understand when someone is being mean to him or using him. Other times he thinks someone is being mean when they are just being friendly, but he doesn't know the proper response so he feels 'put on the spot'.  This does give me hope for him in the future though.

It sounds like he has a promising future too :)

[momtoscott]

 My son is HFA and I would say his autism is noticeable.  He does and can carry on conversations a lot like a "regular" kid, but his range of emotional expression is a little flatter, his speech is a little slower, and if you ask him a question he isn't expecting, the response is quite a bit slower.  And if you ask him a question about the content of a speech, you will get an answer you don't expect. 

However, if you saw him on stage playing his bassoon or piano, etc., you wouldn't see anything different from the other musicians. 

I think the responses are just enough different from what's expected that it is noticeable.  But that is true of a lot of awfully smart or talented people who are on the spectrum or not.  I know graduates of MIT and Harvard who also have a distinctive rhythm or pattern to their speech and seem less expressive than the norm, as well as world class musicians who are just...odd, offstage.  When you have someone whose brain is processing information along a different set of pathways, you are going to get "different."