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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Is there anyone else that doesn't identify as a supermom? 

A lot of the support groups I visit and people I know in real life that are moms of autistic child talk about how hard they have to fight for their children.  They battle the school system, they take on insurance companies.  I think of it as the supermom syndrome.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son and I would do anything for him - but I don't "fight" the school system.  We go to meetings and have conferences and actually all work together on his IEP.  We submit claims to the insurance company for his ABA and pay what they don't cover.  I just don't have this "warrior mom" or "momma bear" or whatever mentality that a lot of other moms have.

I like to think that just as my son is still a kid like every other kid, he just also has autism - that I'm also a mom like every other mom out there.  I still go to work, pay my bills, have fights and date nights with my husband, take care of my parents.  I don't spend my entire life beating the drum over my son's autism.

Maybe I'm just really lucky in that we have great insurance and a great school system, and don't get rude comments from strangers.  But I always have a hard time fitting in with support groups since I don't have this "supermom" attitude. 

Anyone else out there feel this way?

by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 4:52 PM
Replies (11-20):
millot310
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 12:23 AM

We are int he process of getting ABA services throught he regional center. Now the laws state that it has to go through your insurance first. And Regional Center will pay up to a $40 copay- well, we dont have copays. We have to meet a $3000 deductible before insurance pays anything. Then they pay at 80%. So we are looking at alot of money for ABA. I thought it would be ok since Regional Center made the referral for Medi-Cal/MediCaid - they would be our secondary insurance and it would save us money right? NOPE- medi-cal/medicaid doesnt believe that ABA is medically necessary. It's a hard system.

arkansasmama08
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 12:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Oh I'm a fighter. Nature of the beast I'm afraid. I'm a self proclaimed mama bear and proud of it. I will work myself into the ground to help my children overcome their difficulties do they can live up to their potential and be able to do what they want with their lives. I call who I need to call and fight when I need to fight. And I will continue to do so. Yes, it's true. I don't have much life outside of my home and my children and my church. But I don't mind. I only have them for a short time and I'll use it to do everything I can to prepare them for life.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kajira
by Emma on Sep. 1, 2012 at 4:56 AM
1 mom liked this

i don't know if I have a mamabear attitude, but I homeschool and don't deal with insurance companies because at this point, we don't go outside of our home for any therapies. Our son doing well and I dont' want to ruin all the progress we've made with him.

unusualmom
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 8:43 AM
I dont think im a super mom. But I do fight my way through the school processes to get what both my boys need. If I dont bring up proper procedures and policy the schools will be lax and not do it at all.
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pdjlady
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 8:59 AM

where is there a school for children with asd?

 

pdjlady
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 8:59 AM
where is there a school for children with asd?
girl_incognito
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 10:53 AM

I'm in Mississippi and we have two that have ASD classrooms. You just have to research your area

Quoting pdjlady:

where is there a school for children with asd?



KickButtMama
by on Sep. 1, 2012 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I am willing to fight anyone, but haven't found it necessary. We homeschool so educationally I'd have to fight myself...lol...
cmsloco
by Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 1:54 PM
3 moms liked this

Maybe it is just the stuff you are doing is the same that they are.  You are involved, working on the IEp and filling out the claims.  You are doing what is the "normal" day to day stuff for your family.  The thing is that everybody's daily "normal" is different.  We get used to it.  It becomes natural.  Yes it certainly helps that the parties involved work together.  And it certainly helps that you are able to pay for what they don't cover.  You may not feel like a supermom, but the thing is that every mom is a supermom on here.  Every mom out there being mom is a supermom.  Some just don't realize it in themselves.  We are just mom and we do what moms do...keep the family running.

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 7:10 PM


Quoting Cubanmom84:

You know I have the same problem with the group that I go to, there is another mother there that is fighting with the school system, the insurance companies, i mean to the point that she stands outside her son's classroom window to make sure that the teachers do "right" by him, "whatever she thinks its right". And am like, isn't better to work together?? I mean, I know my son, his extremely bright but also he can be a handfull, and I have to take into consideration that those teachers also have to deal with his personality, yes, sometimes I think this lady thinks her son does not have one, cause she treats him like a robot, and we have to come togther, therapist, teachers, counselors EVERYONE to talk about what is good for him, imagine, if he is a handfull and I know it, do I have to portrait myself as a "supermom" too, "know it all" mom and make hard on everyone too?? no, I think am ok leaving the professionals do their jobs.


Teachers, for me, are different.

 

I just pray I get good teachers for my son. But even if I didn't, I would always try to help them help my son and support them anyway I can. I understand they have a family too and have to jugle and its not easy being a teacher, with NT or ASD kids.

 

Insurance greed, now for that you can see my wrath and lawyers and anyone else I need to talk to

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