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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Is there anyone else that doesn't identify as a supermom? 

A lot of the support groups I visit and people I know in real life that are moms of autistic child talk about how hard they have to fight for their children.  They battle the school system, they take on insurance companies.  I think of it as the supermom syndrome.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son and I would do anything for him - but I don't "fight" the school system.  We go to meetings and have conferences and actually all work together on his IEP.  We submit claims to the insurance company for his ABA and pay what they don't cover.  I just don't have this "warrior mom" or "momma bear" or whatever mentality that a lot of other moms have.

I like to think that just as my son is still a kid like every other kid, he just also has autism - that I'm also a mom like every other mom out there.  I still go to work, pay my bills, have fights and date nights with my husband, take care of my parents.  I don't spend my entire life beating the drum over my son's autism.

Maybe I'm just really lucky in that we have great insurance and a great school system, and don't get rude comments from strangers.  But I always have a hard time fitting in with support groups since I don't have this "supermom" attitude. 

Anyone else out there feel this way?

by on Aug. 31, 2012 at 4:52 PM
Replies (21-26):
MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Sep. 1, 2012 at 7:11 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting cmsloco:

Maybe it is just the stuff you are doing is the same that they are.  You are involved, working on the IEp and filling out the claims.  You are doing what is the "normal" day to day stuff for your family.  The thing is that everybody's daily "normal" is different.  We get used to it.  It becomes natural.  Yes it certainly helps that the parties involved work together.  And it certainly helps that you are able to pay for what they don't cover.  You may not feel like a supermom, but the thing is that every mom is a supermom on here.  Every mom out there being mom is a supermom.  Some just don't realize it in themselves.  We are just mom and we do what moms do...keep the family running.

Very well said! I think I'm going to put this on a poster :)

Cubanmom84
by on Sep. 2, 2012 at 8:16 AM

I understand fighting the insurance and getting the help that your son needs, in fact many laws are being changed because of mothers who are fighting. I get that, but why fight everyone else, why stand outside a window to watch how the professionals do they job, is just over kill for me.

Quoting MomOfOneCoolKid:


Quoting Cubanmom84:

You know I have the same problem with the group that I go to, there is another mother there that is fighting with the school system, the insurance companies, i mean to the point that she stands outside her son's classroom window to make sure that the teachers do "right" by him, "whatever she thinks its right". And am like, isn't better to work together?? I mean, I know my son, his extremely bright but also he can be a handfull, and I have to take into consideration that those teachers also have to deal with his personality, yes, sometimes I think this lady thinks her son does not have one, cause she treats him like a robot, and we have to come togther, therapist, teachers, counselors EVERYONE to talk about what is good for him, imagine, if he is a handfull and I know it, do I have to portrait myself as a "supermom" too, "know it all" mom and make hard on everyone too?? no, I think am ok leaving the professionals do their jobs.


Teachers, for me, are different.


I just pray I get good teachers for my son. But even if I didn't, I would always try to help them help my son and support them anyway I can. I understand they have a family too and have to jugle and its not easy being a teacher, with NT or ASD kids.


Insurance greed, now for that you can see my wrath and lawyers and anyone else I need to talk to


"Don't underestimate persons with autism, try to understand"

http://ariasautism-livingwithautism.blogspot.com/

Reina67
by Lisa on Sep. 2, 2012 at 8:16 AM
You are very lucky. I do have to fight school system because they considered him a financial burden. I have had to move out of that district. I do get on the phone and make sure things happen in a timely manner. I work 40 hrs a week and now my 19 mo old is being assessed for Autism. I dont feel like a supermom, Im just doing what i have to for my boys.
Basherte
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2012 at 1:35 PM

I think maybe it's just that you and I are very lucky. I don't butt heads with people often. The preschool that my son is enrolled in are wonderful. The insurance he has is wonderful. I've never had a problem with them, they pay for everything that he needs as far as therapy, and school, and help like that. 


My neighbors either understand what he is going through because they worked with special needs kids specifically autistic ones, or listen to me about what he needs. Down to the one neighbor that has no information about autism except what she has heard. Kudos to her for asking me about what she has heard and believing me about it. It's strangers that don't know us that I end up having to be the "mama bear" with. 

While my son doesn't say my name at all. He does communicate that he loves me. According to what we've seen at home and out, Me and hubby raise the sun and set the moon. So, I'm good with that. My son is happy and healthy, and a very well behaved child most of the time, and progressing, always moving forward. So, I feel a success as a mom. He's 3. SO that might change.

terri-553
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Yesterday at 9:42 AM
by Terri on Sep. 2, 2012 at 2:12 PM

Thomas is my g/son w/Austism,There are times when I just wonder why??People act/saythings you must be a Saint.No,I am Thomas;s Grandma I look after him as his mom works,he is my grandkid just like all of the others no more /no less.G/daugther is the same way she has Ceberal P.(spelled wrong)she is treated no differnetly.They are kids

Hilary799
by on Sep. 2, 2012 at 2:19 PM
I am called super mom. But I am just doing what I have to do . 6 kids with one autistic son can be difficult but I wouldn't trade for anything .
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