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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

ill be honest... im scared..

Posted by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:16 AM
  • 14 Replies

i kept saying i didn't want the boys to start school because i would miss them and i didnt want them to grow up and i was sad they are one year closer to kindergarten. while those are all a little true, that isnt the entire reason why i was so upset about them starting school this year. (oh god here comes the tears). i am scared as hell for this school year. this is going to be a huge school year for all of us. theres going to be evaluations involved, then i have to pick a new school, then i have to have a new iep meeting with new people, not the people im used to. 

the evaluations scare me because i have to get a slap in the face AGAIN on what level my boys are at. they have made HUGE progress this past year but i know they are not on age level. and of course i have to be reminded of that, and of course i will cry when i am told that because i always do.

picking a school... last time when i had to pick this school, it was so hard. i looked at 8 schools. and i still feel like i picked the wrong one. what if i do that again? 

everyday i dread opening their folder when they come home because im scared of what i will find about the aging out thing. there is not one thing i will enjoy about this school year. not at all. 

now that i got that out i feel a little better.

by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
greenmommo
by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:23 AM
2 moms liked this
Hugs, mama.

Your boys are WONDERFUL! So what if they don't meet the standards "they" set. You know they are wonderful and they keep gaining skills. You must be doing something right. Give yourself credit for that. Allow you to be at peace with your decisions because you inform yourself and had the best of intentions. That is what you would tell another mom.

I hope you find yourself surprised. I bet this will be a great year.
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RockinMama0608
by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:27 AM

It will be okay, Holly and I am glad that getting that out made you feel a little better ((hugs)) 

Evaluations and testing are never easy, and I still struggle with it every now and then.  I've come to terms that Will is behind his peers and that is okay.  His brother (who is 2 years younger) is developmentally ahead of Will.  And, choosing a school for your child is never easy either.  Now that you know what to expect during this school year, I would start looking at the schools available for your boys and begin reading reviews (or talking to other parents).  This should give you a clear picture of what it is really like, and not what the school is wanting you to think.  Also, make random trips to the schools to see if it is what you are looking for.  Will just started Kindergarten this year and has been in 3 different schools.  The first two were not that good for him. 

Hang in there, Holly.  We are here if you ever need someone to talk to or just vent.

twins0506
by Holly on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this

i know. but its differnt when its your kid lol. thank you though.

Quoting greenmommo:

Hugs, mama.

Your boys are WONDERFUL! So what if they don't meet the standards "they" set. You know they are wonderful and they keep gaining skills. You must be doing something right. Give yourself credit for that. Allow you to be at peace with your decisions because you inform yourself and had the best of intentions. That is what you would tell another mom.

I hope you find yourself surprised. I bet this will be a great year.


twins0506
by Holly on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:34 AM

i did get a lot of advice from a mom who's son aged out last year. i glanced online at the school her son is going to now and it seems nice. i'm keeping that one in mind. i don't even know where to start looking for schools. she told me the school will give you a list of schools but thats later in the year. i don't even know what level they will be at though to know what school to look at. know what i mean? like what if dez needs an all autism class but izaiah doesnt. as of right now thats how i see it playing out. but who knows if 4-5 months from now when the evaluations happen if thats how it will still be. everyone keeps telling me stop stressing because theres nothing i can do now because they dont start anything until dcember-january. but still.... how can i not.

Quoting RockinMama0608:

It will be okay, Holly and I am glad that getting that out made you feel a little better ((hugs)) 

Evaluations and testing are never easy, and I still struggle with it every now and then.  I've come to terms that Will is behind his peers and that is okay.  His brother (who is 2 years younger) is developmentally ahead of Will.  And, choosing a school for your child is never easy either.  Now that you know what to expect during this school year, I would start looking at the schools available for your boys and begin reading reviews (or talking to other parents).  This should give you a clear picture of what it is really like, and not what the school is wanting you to think.  Also, make random trips to the schools to see if it is what you are looking for.  Will just started Kindergarten this year and has been in 3 different schools.  The first two were not that good for him. 

Hang in there, Holly.  We are here if you ever need someone to talk to or just vent.


RockinMama0608
by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 11:42 AM

I completely understand because I am the same way.  I worry about things even when there is nothing I can do about it at the time.  I know I drive my son's school crazy because I ask questions that they do not know how to answer. 

I am sure it has to be tough worrying about the boys next year, especially since they are twins.  Just know that you are doing the best that you can and that things will work out.  You are a great mom because you are worried about their future and education.  ((hugs))

Quoting twins0506:

i did get a lot of advice from a mom who's son aged out last year. i glanced online at the school her son is going to now and it seems nice. i'm keeping that one in mind. i don't even know where to start looking for schools. she told me the school will give you a list of schools but thats later in the year. i don't even know what level they will be at though to know what school to look at. know what i mean? like what if dez needs an all autism class but izaiah doesnt. as of right now thats how i see it playing out. but who knows if 4-5 months from now when the evaluations happen if thats how it will still be. everyone keeps telling me stop stressing because theres nothing i can do now because they dont start anything until dcember-january. but still.... how can i not.

Quoting RockinMama0608:

It will be okay, Holly and I am glad that getting that out made you feel a little better ((hugs)) 

Evaluations and testing are never easy, and I still struggle with it every now and then.  I've come to terms that Will is behind his peers and that is okay.  His brother (who is 2 years younger) is developmentally ahead of Will.  And, choosing a school for your child is never easy either.  Now that you know what to expect during this school year, I would start looking at the schools available for your boys and begin reading reviews (or talking to other parents).  This should give you a clear picture of what it is really like, and not what the school is wanting you to think.  Also, make random trips to the schools to see if it is what you are looking for.  Will just started Kindergarten this year and has been in 3 different schools.  The first two were not that good for him. 

Hang in there, Holly.  We are here if you ever need someone to talk to or just vent.



mallowcup17
by on Sep. 10, 2012 at 12:57 PM

((hugs))

just keep doing what you are doing. we look at evals and such as formalities and focus on the positive of each school year. as long as they continue to progress and get the help they need thats all that matters. 

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2012 at 1:05 PM

hugs mom. i know how it feels. we'll cry together but you'll soon see, we'll be smiling too. Good things will happen too this school year. They'll learn more this year. And in those milestone steps, we'll hug again and smile again and find hope in the progress that's coming.

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2012 at 1:11 PM

I posted this reply in another post, but I think it might be appropriate here too.

 

Regarding autism or anything else that is difficult in life, I try to live by this motto, I hope it helps you too:

“Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

For autism, the second part - i.e. the part that we do -- might be better stated as "the courage to keep helping my son reach his full potential"

 

Hugs mom.

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 4:32 PM

how's it going holly?

newmommy430
by Silver Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 4:59 PM
They tell me my son doesn't do this, that, and the next thing, but I have noticed that many NT kids don't do all those things either. I often think that their standards are set too high.

If feel for you. I'm not a big fan myself.

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