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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

So one of the desperate housewifes of IDK where was talking today about her son having autism, but she kept saying, we are trying to "recover" him, and that really confused me, because the whole time am saying "well, hun where did he go?" Her son spoke before he digressed and that is what am guessing that she is talking about, my son never spoke, so idk what it is to hear my son say "i love you" like her's did. But I still think that she is being a bit , I don't want to say "dilusional" but like she is still stuck on her son before he started digressing, you know what I mean? I just found it really weird, because my son is my son, he just happens to be autistic, he just happens to be socially awkward (but how many of us aren't) he just happens to be non-verbal ( well i like to think of him as a great thinker) and he just happens to learn differently (not everyone learns the same).  

And its amaizing how people think differently, some actually believe that by doing special diets and doing all this stuff their son is going to "come back" whatever that means. How can you fix a missplaced wire, or wrong fuse with a special diet??? Idk that is just me, what do you ladies think?

"Don't underestimate persons with autism, try to understand"

http://ariasautism-livingwithautism.blogspot.com/

by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 5:04 PM
Replies (11-20):
badgermom2012
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:06 PM

I agree with you.  And I will add my opinion that she is a delusional, money and fame seeking skanky ho-bag! I read that during shooting for the first season she hid her son.  Now all of a sudden she wants to talk about autism.  I just think it's sad that people like this airhead even get to be on TV.  

Quoting Cubanmom84:

So one of the desperate housewifes of IDK where was talking today about her son having autism, but she kept saying, we are trying to "recover" him, and that really confused me, because the whole time am saying "well, hun where did he go?" Her son spoke before he digressed and that is what am guessing that she is talking about, my son never spoke, so idk what it is to hear my son say "i love you" like her's did. But I still think that she is being a bit , I don't want to say "dilusional" but like she is still stuck on her son before he started digressing, you know what I mean? I just found it really weird, because my son is my son, he just happens to be autistic, he just happens to be socially awkward (but how many of us aren't) he just happens to be non-verbal ( well i like to think of him as a great thinker) and he just happens to learn differently (not everyone learns the same).  

And its amaizing how people think differently, some actually believe that by doing special diets and doing all this stuff their son is going to "come back" whatever that means. How can you fix a missplaced wire, or wrong fuse with a special diet??? Idk that is just me, what do you ladies think?


Paperfishies
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:06 PM
I didn't see that as an insult. It was her opinion. IMO, there is nothing wrong with trying to get your child back to where they were, via therapies. Many kids are able to "improve" over time and it's ok to have that goal in mind.
I think most parents want the easiest life possible for their children, and that's all she was saying.

Quoting badgermom2012:

Autism isn't cancer or anything remotely similar to cancer.  Please stop insulting autistic persons.  


Quoting Sheriff6:

If your son was diagnosed with cancer, would you say the same thing. Her child must have been doing fine and then digressed, and so something has caused this so she is trying to figure out what made him do this.



We have the same opinion, and we too are trying to recover our precious grandson and guess what? He is already a lot better. Yes he was always her son and if he never gets better he is still her son, but to think it is strange for people to want to help their child get better makes no since to me.



Do you do any kind of therapy?




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badgermom2012
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry that you don't see how equating different brain wiring to cancer is an insult.  

Quoting Paperfishies:

I didn't see that as an insult. It was her opinion. IMO, there is nothing wrong with trying to get your child back to where they were, via therapies. Many kids are able to "improve" over time and it's ok to have that goal in mind.


Quoting badgermom2012:

Autism isn't cancer or anything remotely similar to cancer.  Please stop insulting autistic persons.  


Quoting Sheriff6:

If your son was diagnosed with cancer, would you say the same thing. Her child must have been doing fine and then digressed, and so something has caused this so she is trying to figure out what made him do this.



We have the same opinion, and we too are trying to recover our precious grandson and guess what? He is already a lot better. Yes he was always her son and if he never gets better he is still her son, but to think it is strange for people to want to help their child get better makes no since to me.



Do you do any kind of therapy?




Paperfishies
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this
She was comparing it in the way that the majority of parents want nothing but the best for their children and want the best and easiest life. No parent wants to see their child struggling, whether that struggle is physical, emotional, social, or psychological.


Quoting badgermom2012:

I'm sorry that you don't see how equating different brain wiring to cancer is an insult.  


Quoting Paperfishies:

I didn't see that as an insult. It was her opinion. IMO, there is nothing wrong with trying to get your child back to where they were, via therapies. Many kids are able to "improve" over time and it's ok to have that goal in mind.





Quoting badgermom2012:

Autism isn't cancer or anything remotely similar to cancer.  Please stop insulting autistic persons.  



Quoting Sheriff6:

If your son was diagnosed with cancer, would you say the same thing. Her child must have been doing fine and then digressed, and so something has caused this so she is trying to figure out what made him do this.





We have the same opinion, and we too are trying to recover our precious grandson and guess what? He is already a lot better. Yes he was always her son and if he never gets better he is still her son, but to think it is strange for people to want to help their child get better makes no since to me.





Do you do any kind of therapy?






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KatyTylersMom
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:22 PM
2 moms liked this

First off I think it's pretty much a no-brainer to say that anyone who is on a "Housewives of XXX Area" is a ho-bag and skanfest, an attention whore and pretty much a sad excuse for a human being:)  Before I moved to Orange County (actually to about 2 miles from where all the Hosewives of OC live in their gated ultra-exclusive conclave of riches) I was like you have got to be kidding me - I cannot live in a place with people like this!  But thankfully just like any other area, the weirdos are but a small portion of the population:) 

That being said, I do feel there is a medical link or a thread of illnesses seen in many people with autism that makes it, if not like cancer, like many syndromes where you can't treat the root cause but you can and need to treat the conditions that continue to persist.  For my son that includes a lot of problems with his immune system and his digestive tract.  For my family we are looking to cure these co-morbid physical disorders because they impact how his brain is able to function.  I do not believe they will cure his autism but I do believe they will allow his brain to work the best it can in whatever ways it does best.  And we will deal with any problems that arise with that as needed. 

But if someone asked me tomorrow if I'd like a cure for my son's autism I'd be in line in a heart beat.  My son has autism.  My SON is not made of autism and he would still be my sweet son if he suddenly could speak, make eye contact, and understand social situations.  I'd feel the same if he had a stutter, if he had a bad birthmark, pick your issue.  If it's something that will make life harder for my kid, yes, I'd like to cure it please. 

But I'd also like to add that jumping down people's throats for wanting to cure their child is inappropriate, especially on a support forum.  I haven't been on this forum for all that long and this is probably the 5th or 6th time this topic has been addressed at length and I feel that a lot of moms are being put off by the negative reactions of other posters.  Maybe they don't feel free to share their thoughts and feelings on the topic for fear of either appearing to not love or accept their child, or just being told that they are flat out wrong.  There's a difference between expressing your opinion and telling someone else that theirs is wrong and unacceptible and I think we can walk that line a bit better.

badgermom2012
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:33 PM
2 moms liked this

And you don't see how it can be offensive to autistic people to tell them that they are diseased?  

Quoting KatyTylersMom:

First off I think it's pretty much a no-brainer to say that anyone who is on a "Housewives of XXX Area" is a ho-bag and skanfest, an attention whore and pretty much a sad excuse for a human being:)  Before I moved to Orange County (actually to about 2 miles from where all the Hosewives of OC live in their gated ultra-exclusive conclave of riches) I was like you have got to be kidding me - I cannot live in a place with people like this!  But thankfully just like any other area, the weirdos are but a small portion of the population:) 

That being said, I do feel there is a medical link or a thread of illnesses seen in many people with autism that makes it, if not like cancer, like many syndromes where you can't treat the root cause but you can and need to treat the conditions that continue to persist.  For my son that includes a lot of problems with his immune system and his digestive tract.  For my family we are looking to cure these co-morbid physical disorders because they impact how his brain is able to function.  I do not believe they will cure his autism but I do believe they will allow his brain to work the best it can in whatever ways it does best.  And we will deal with any problems that arise with that as needed. 

But if someone asked me tomorrow if I'd like a cure for my son's autism I'd be in line in a heart beat.  My son has autism.  My SON is not made of autism and he would still be my sweet son if he suddenly could speak, make eye contact, and understand social situations.  I'd feel the same if he had a stutter, if he had a bad birthmark, pick your issue.  If it's something that will make life harder for my kid, yes, I'd like to cure it please. 

But I'd also like to add that jumping down people's throats for wanting to cure their child is inappropriate, especially on a support forum.  I haven't been on this forum for all that long and this is probably the 5th or 6th time this topic has been addressed at length and I feel that a lot of moms are being put off by the negative reactions of other posters.  Maybe they don't feel free to share their thoughts and feelings on the topic for fear of either appearing to not love or accept their child, or just being told that they are flat out wrong.  There's a difference between expressing your opinion and telling someone else that theirs is wrong and unacceptible and I think we can walk that line a bit better.


KatyTylersMom
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:46 PM

By definition of having an autism diagnosis you are already defined as having a psychiatric disorder, personally I'd prefer a medical disorder b/c then people don't look at you like you are crazy.  Anytime there is a wiff of "this person's brain isn't quite right" it's a huge stigma in our society (and others).  Do I want society to not think of my child as "less than" because he's autistic? Sure.  Would I prefer that my child not have the disabling portions of autism in the first place?  You betcha. 

I just want to be clear - I think a lot of people see autism as a way of thinking and perceiving the world.  And to say that I, as a mom, want to change the way my son thinks or sees his environment sounds pretty harsh.  While I think that is an aspect of autism, there are many other aspects, a lot of which are severely debilitating and painful.  It's those parts of autism I want to "cure" not my son's quirks or personality or ways of thinking and approaching learning. 

arkansasmama08
by Silver Member on Sep. 12, 2012 at 12:48 AM
4 moms liked this
Ok, I have to weigh in on this. I don't watch the show and think its pretty much an idiotic idea for a show in the first place. But I see where she's coming from. I do think that she may be in denial or that crazy "super mom" stage where you research and call specialists and talk to every person on the planet that has anything to do with autism for 19 hours a day. I also think that autism cannot be "cured" or "recovered". Can progress be made? Abso-freaking-lutly andvibthink it's our jobs as parents to do everything we can to make that happen. But, it is a brain disorder. It's not about teaching a kid right or wrong behavior. It's about giving them options that they understand. You can work around it, you can teach them every trick in the book to help them fit in and seem "normal". But you can't rewire their brain.
I know when we first started our journey I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. Seeing it happens with dd and then the baby too, I pretty much look and feel like a beat puppy. Everybody says its not a death sentence and I get that. I get that there are worse things in the world than autism, especially when my kids are on the higher end. But that's not all that encouraging when your in the fight day and night. I put up a pic of dd lining up toys the other day because she's just too dang cute to not share. And someone commented on how great it was to see her doing something she enjoyed so much. But you wanna know the truth? Every time I see my kids line things up, or stack things, or spin like tops, or scream because we took a different road or didn't warn them we were buying new toothbrushes, my heart sinks a little more. Maybe I'm still in the mourning phase myself. Maybe I'm just a wimp or negative. I love my children more than life and they make me smile and laugh every day, but I didn't sign up for autism. I hate it. I hate the therapies, fights with insurance and funding, watching my kids struggle to make friends or even just talk to another child. I hate it all. I know most of you think of it as a gift, something that makes them special. I don't. I see it as a curse. I know Gid has a reason so I keep my head up and charge on and do all I can for my babies.
I know this is long and controversial and I'm sorry. But I had to get it out. All this to really say that I get where she's coming from. I know the hopeful feeling and the wishing I could "fix" it. But I don't believe it can be done.
I hope I didn't offend anyone. I know some of you are asd yourselves and I hope this doesn't come across like I feel you are less or broken or something, because I don't. I know y'all have grown to strong, productive people and I'm amazed by it. but I had to unload.
Thanks all
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girl_incognito
by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 5:56 AM

Agreed, no one dies from having autism. 

That is certainly not the type of stigma that needs to be put on the autistic community.

Quoting badgermom2012:

Autism isn't cancer or anything remotely similar to cancer.  Please stop insulting autistic persons.  

Quoting Sheriff6:

If your son was diagnosed with cancer, would you say the same thing. Her child must have been doing fine and then digressed, and so something has caused this so she is trying to figure out what made him do this.

We have the same opinion, and we too are trying to recover our precious grandson and guess what? He is already a lot better. Yes he was always her son and if he never gets better he is still her son, but to think it is strange for people to want to help their child get better makes no since to me.

Do you do any kind of therapy?



calusari
by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 6:44 AM
1 mom liked this

I blame Jenny McCarthy for all of that "recovery" talk; in my opinion, if your child recovers, then he was never autistic to begin with (it turns out that hers wasn't).

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