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I never even knew what Aspbergers was.. autism my child NEVER

Posted by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 3:45 PM
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I am crying now, for all I have tried and failed at. I was looking for some sort of assistance today. I went desperatly to my psych office where my son and I go and well was informed " we are not an urgent care facilty" Oh man, already crying I couldn't begin to defend the fact that I don't just run and go crying because I have an issue at home... The lack of emotional support that we as mothers recieve is beyond the reality in which we live.  The world I live in is very pleasant at least some of the time, until the freak out's which now at 13 are getting to be his way or the highway. I have enrolled him in a local outpatient program thankfully which by grace I found through another faciltiy. Aspberger's there are no schools to define it , no training programs and well frankly I had never heard of it until I had another mom that homeschooled with me have her toddler diagnosed. Now I can't get him the testing or help. (It is developmental.) Where is the legislation that supposedly comes into play?  I need to go lay down, my blood pressure is up and I am emotionally exhausted. How does my son even deal with this? I can't get a straight answer cuz his brain so doesn't work that way. At ten my daughter is more mature than he is. Jesus help us all ...seriously and I am tired of everyone giving excuses and not caring. So tired.

by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 3:45 PM
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by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 4:08 PM


Purple, I have a few things to do today, then I will get back to you tonight with info that you need.  I am so sorry you have been going through this.   My son is 19 and has Aspgergers/HFA.  There is help for you and your son.   And you and your poor son are going through this with puberty on top of it yikes!  There are a lot of experienced caring moms here so you don't have to be alone any more.  Anyway, I'll be back to you with resources later tonight.

Sending more hugs!!!!

by Emma on Sep. 17, 2012 at 4:19 PM
3 moms liked this

First, deep breathes. Second, I'm autistic and my son's autistic and I'm sorry you are struggling. Being autistic is not the worst thing in the world and there are many good things that do come with it, but you have to learn to work with it. You can't cure it. It's a different way of communicating and looking at the world. Many of the professionals can't actually tell you what it's like to be autistic.

My biggest suggestion for a boy of his age? find an older peer who has their shit together who's autistic who can be his friend and help him learn... not just about himself, but how to relate to others and maybe even explain things when he doesn't have the words yet fo rhimself.

I understand how stressful it can be to raise a child with autism, and all i can say is being autistic if you can learn to understand it for both of you can open up a whole new world of possibilities.

I'm sorry you are tired, I'm sorry your family is struggling - I will say one of the things that makes my son and I both so well loved by friends and family alike is that we ARE innocent and child like and the way we see the world around is - we often see things other miss... we take more time to smell the flowers, explore our environment and our world and take joy in simple, every day things that others often take for granted.

Yes, we mature slower, but it doesn't mean we don't mature. (okay, I still have my entire desk in pink and hello kitty and wear pigtails, but I still am able to get my daily stuff done every day.)

It's going to be about balance. his meltdowns have a reason, his frustrations have a reason.

Overstimulation makes the brain haywire. When you can't get words out or can't talk or don't get enough time to process and think and people keep pushing and insisting on an answer before your brain forms one, you'd get upset too.

The biggest key with autism is patience, and understanding. understand limitations, work with it instead of fighting it.

by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 3:56 AM

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope.
Maya Angelou

I guess the most important thing I can say is "Thank you" ... I am still awake, in pain from a hip injury (haha) I am hell on roller blades and well I can only say that I wasn't even healed from giving birth to my son and I went roller blading and ran into a wall (trying to no FLIP the *(**^) over a steel bar into a creek.. haha. I NEVER went to the doctor until I was over 35 and then well treatment was too late. To get back at your clarity ..amazing. I don't have a tremendous amount of patience and being that I suffer from BPII (depressed kind) well I get agravated with him A LOT. Your words express the definite need for me to stop pressing him for an answer when he revolts and well honestly I do press him.. "Why don't you listen or do what I ASK of you????" He is 13 and I am 40 .. I understand that a disease is by no means a death sentence but honestly at my age I get so flustered. The whole American system (even with the legistlation that is supposed to mandate treatment is lacking) .. I can say that as ignorant as I am about things I still research and am so grateful for finding this site. I mean how many parents and children are going through an even worse circumstance. I just want to SCREAM at these ignorant people that don't give a rat's ass about all of us. They don't know what we go through or understand the struggles a person with autism has. When I see bullying towards special people (especially when they are physically overdeveloped and mentally under) I get pissed off. I can't explain the rage I feel. My son was at church of all places when another teen whom he was playing football with called him a little bitch. OMG I was livid, for my son to go out of his way to push him (the other kid who was bigger and OLDER) my son got called down. He is in a center now OP and getting some therapy and being seen EVERYDAY by a doc. (of the shrink sort).. My cry to heaven was heard and I am grateful. I am cleaning now and thanking God for the answers. Who thinks autism .. who even knew what it was 20 years ago? NO one. They would have thrown all of us in an asylum up until the early 70's and that sucks. It does have a voice and I am not ashamed just concerned. I grew up in such chaos and pain I don't want my sunshine to suffer at all. I want to protect him and help him and make his life better.  The drain on my being is what scares me, I FEEL responsible for this happening to him I FEEL like it is my f'n fault and it makes me hate myself. I can't put it any plainer. I feel like as a mother I have failed and I know I am not the only one.  I can honestly say that there are many of us who blame ourselves and well I guess I am a matyr. I am a perfectionist and well quite frankly I don't even know who got me pregnant.. I can say I just fell short after my divorce and acted in poor judgement. I would NEVER take back having my son but I would have done the whole thing a lot differently at my age now then at 25. I dunno live and learn. God help us all we need it for sure. I have to again say thanks to all of you who read and responded it means a lot to know I am not alone. I wish there was a real live support group for people like us around where I live. I am going to check into it. Thanks again. ((you))
by Wendy on Sep. 24, 2012 at 7:10 AM

((hugs)) what happened that hes in out patient? welcome to the group!

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