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Grieving the news since this Friday!!! please help me!!!

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 I knew about a year ago, something was wrong with my baby boy, but i kept thinking to myself" It's just me, i"m the one who's being paraniod. And so did family members. Now we have the final diagnosis of him being PDD/NOS on the spectrum of Autism.  On Friday Morning. My heart got ripped out of my chest!!!

 It's been 4 days, and my eyes hurt from all the crying. My anger is towards everyone in my family, and i think i'm going a little crazy! How do i deal with this. I know i'm pushing every button starting today, with the support groups. But ladies, and friends, i need help NOW!!! I need to know how to deal with this properly.  I am one strong person, but right now i have no angels holding me up!

Today is  new day, a new week. I will be strong for my family, and not to try and think so negative. He will qualify for SSI and Medicaid, so that is wonderful. He just deserves a good life, and don't know if he will ever get it  with how severe it is. It breaks my heart to here all the stuff the doctor said, but it was like he knew him from the" T" for that i am grateful.Everything he said about colton was an open book!!

I'm just a mother doing the best she can, with the help out there given. Thank you for letting me VENT!!! i needed this. Today is a new day, a new week, and there is hope for my little man, i am just grieving, and it's sooooo god dammmm hard.....

by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:45 AM
Replies (31-33):
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 8:36 PM

Yes, its upsetting.  Try to think of the good will see the world through your childs eyes, and you don't want to miss that..You can still hang on to those hopes..You will find out when you get the right help for your child, things will be easire. These kids have such big hearts..  There is days I think my son will be anything he wants then there is days I think I will be taking care of him for the rest of my life.  I have learned to take it a day at a time, and try not to set goals for his future.. It's still open for anything..We don't know what the future holds. They were able to give autism to mice..they are getting closer to understanding it..

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry momma! It's hard! Research, research, research...... educate yourself so that you can make sure he has the best quality of life. Remember Autism is what he has, NOT who he is!!! It will be hard and you will learn to fight like a bear to make sure he gets everything he deserves and he will always be your heart and soul!!!

Autism is what he has, NOT who he is. jigsaw ribbon

by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 6:23 AM

Big hugs for you. My son just turned 2 the other day. He can say 'bubbles' and 'bye'. It's strange and sometimes heartbreaking to not hear him say 'momma' or 'luv you'. But let me incourage you......actions speak louder than words. My boy will come over and rest his head on me, or put his forehead to my lips for a kiss. He makes a grunt noise when he is thirsty and goes to the cabinet and pulls out cereal when he is hungry. He loves to spin and twirl, and his eyes twinkle and sparkle.......literally, he has smiling eyes! Talk to him everyday, about what you're doing, where you're going, who you're going to see. Be specific and not vague. Your child, although not being able to talk, loves the sound of your voice. I know it's hard when you don't get a response, or won't for a long time, but the responses you get will not be verbal, but they will be full of action. When I put my shoes on to get the mail, or go outside, my son goes to the frontdoor and waits for me. He knows I"m going out and he wants to go. sometimes he grabs his shoes or coat. and he'll bounce up and down at the glass door until I get there. These are signs of joy and excitement, even though he doesn't wear a smile.

Another thing that helps a lot, movies with music. Like Veggie Tales. After seeing a specific movie many times, he will pick up on when to laugh, or scream, or jump up and down.

example, the movie "Ice Age" with Diego the Sabertooth Tiger, he covers his eyes and says,' where's the baby?'. After my son always wanting to watch this movie, he started covering his eyes at this part WITH Diego.  Repetition is the best teacher.

Or Madagascar, when there's a spider on Alex the Lion. My son screams (literally at the top of his lungs) and then laughs, Right before Alex screams in the movie. He has seen these movies over and over since he was born. He likes them and he picks up on ques this way. He connects with them and they are , in some way, his comforters.

Hope this helps, Jenn


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