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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

WANTED: Friends like me!

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:00 PM
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this

as some of you know i am the mom of a WONDERFUL 3 year old little girl, who has PDD. I am not married to her father but we are trying to make things work (its been VERY tough), and we are living in HIS parent's home (no other options right now, LONG story)..and THEY...do NOT like me. My father inlaw (i call them taht due to lack of a more fitting term) LOVES my daughter..he may be pompous, arrogant, mean at times, and EXTREMELY close minded...but he loves his grand daughter. My mother inlaw HATES ME..and blatantly favors her 2 othe grandsons and their mom over me and my daughter. She disrespects me as a woman, parent, and spouse to her son. She thinks im not good enough, and lets me know it. Only recently, since my dd's father came home from jail, has she shown my dd ANY attention/affection....or when one of her friends is present and she wants to looks "good" in front of them...to say she and i have issues is putting it nicely.


  Anyways...I need friends...BADLY. I have NO FRIENDS AT ALL...i thought i had one..but she has turned out to be rather flakey. She even gave me false hope that she and i would find a 3bedroom house to rent (she has 2 kids of her own..a girl who is 8 and a boy who is PDD also, and is 5)...but she never came through. She makes plans with me, and then never calls...and she KNOWS the agnoy i am in living here...she KNOWS (she has heard it over the phone) the toxicity of this house for my daughter...and how i dont have a car (even though there are 5 here i am not permitted to touch ANY of them)...so i no longer can consider her a friend really. I believe in "Do unto others as you want done to you"...

  I am lonley...and have had to go through so much all alone...my daughters father is emotionally bankrupt, and is a man of few words. I love him, but i dont think i am still IN love with him and am struggling to truly come to grips/terms with it. He allows his parents to undermind me as a parent, and he never defends me when i am spoken badly about..he says its easier to "ignore" it, cause its not like saying anything to them will change how things are....and im sorry but i am having a tough time with that...yet i cant leave him till i can get outta this house!! I have applied EVERYWHERE, and sent out AT LEAST 400 resumes in the last month,...and NOTHING. I get DSS, SSI and still cant get out on my own (where i live it is RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE)...and what could help during all of this misery and chaos would be a FRIEND....I have a sister but she is a HOT MESS.

  My mom died aug 5 2010, of lung cancer (believe it or not it was VERY  VERY SUDDEN)....2 months after she was dx'd with stage 4 Lung cancer...she died,..i had no time to come to closure..and when she died a piece of me died as well....my mom was my BEST FRIEND...my everything. So since then its been inexplicably lonley...

  I went through all of the evals,EI,CPSE, Preschool tours, orientations, and whatnot with my daughters PDD ALL ALONE...and well i REALLY need some female friends that can support/identify with me...i have NEVER been in this type of situation where i literally was STARVED for companionship. I love my daughter more then anything..she IS my life...my reason for being...but i am no good to or for her if i have this gaping wound in my soul....i see myself slipping into a depression...and HONESTLY...A LOT of my sh*t stems from living here...


  So, if ANYONE OUT THERE, wants to be friends with a messed up, confused, sad, passionate, strong, funny, educated, out going, clutzy, cynical, sarcastic, sweet, poetic, frazzled, empathetic, generous, loving, insightful, maniac....then please friend request me...i truly could use all the GENUINE friends i can get right now.....whether OL or IRL.... :o)

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amnicu02
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:56 AM
1 mom liked this
After everything I just read the only thing that I can say to you is pray!!! Pray pray pray!!!!! I assume that you believe in God because of the bible verse you quoted. God will make a way for you! I will pray for you as we'll.
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XSummersXmommyX
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:35 AM

 i do pray...i pray every night, and a lot through the day...and yet my circumstances remain the same, no matter HOW HARD I TRY to change them....just this morning i recieved an Email from my bank (as well as a phone call) my dd's father has cleaned out my account...AGAIN...im gonna have to press charges..

Jenn8604
by Jennifer on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:33 AM
I always could use a friend who has an asd kid. Gives me someone to talk to who understands me and my son. Im Jennifer, my son Hayden is 4 and has high to severe autism and is considered nonverbal. Hes learning to talk.
Message me if you need someone to talk to.
Hugs and prayers!
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princess_1983
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:48 AM

My son will be 5 soon. He has mild to moderate Autism. He's in a special class with other kids with ASD's. My husband goes to doctor appointments but I handle the therapists myself and talk once a week to his teacher. I don't have any in real life friends with other asd kids. A girl I went to school with has a son in my son's class. I thought we would be friends. I have reached out to her but haven't heard anything back. So I know what your going through.

Kittycatdiva
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Good morning- precious Mom in need if friends.
I've read your posts: I've been in your place of feeling hopelessness and low self worth: thus, you believe nothing good or positive is available for you. What I gathered from your posts is that you are brilliant - kind - sensitive and beautiful !! Please start visualizing your ideal circumstances: quality friends and a spiritual family that cherishes your most precious spirit . You are compromising or settling for less by keeping yourself imprisoned and surrounded by people who don't respect you! Get out if this environment that will only cripple your ability to bloom into a beautiful flower ! Look into finding a church with loving people; join a moms group and pray to God to restore you and turn your circumstances around. Please know your not crazy but feel crazy because your surrounded by crazy ! Sending you loving hugs from California my sweet friend!!
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ec19863
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:12 PM

message me any time .

mommy1394m
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:19 PM
Message me anytime! You can even text me if that helps. But maybe look into a woman's center. Sounds like you need out of that house.
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XSummersXmommyX
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:29 PM


Quoting mommy1394m:

Message me anytime! You can even text me if that helps. But maybe look into a woman's center. Sounds like you need out of that house.

 I have tried looking into the family shelters, and woman's centers, but they are either full, or not very safe and my dd wouldn't do well exposed to all the strangers,noise,chaos and whatnot...and my dd is my TOP priority. I have been just RELENTLESSLY searching for a job...*sigh* but i dont have a college education, and it seems a job in the reception/secretarial/admin assistant field is hard to come by in my area. 

   I have been keeping a journal on here (ONLY my CM friends have access, since the last time i had a journal on here a "friend" of my mother inlaws decided to access it and then call her and tell her EVERYTHING i had been writing. So, i learned my lesson and made the privacy settings set to where ONLY MY FRIENDS can read it) and it's been a pretty nice release from all this BS. But having feedback, from FRIENDS would be all more helpful! ****HUGS****


BethBrubaker
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:43 AM


Quoting XSummersXmommyX:

 i do pray...i pray every night, and a lot through the day...and yet my circumstances remain the same, no matter HOW HARD I TRY to change them....just this morning i recieved an Email from my bank (as well as a phone call) my dd's father has cleaned out my account...AGAIN...im gonna have to press charges..

Sweetie- Maybe that's part of the problem- HOW HARD I TRY. Not that you shouldn't try, but maybe step back a bit, take a deep breath, and let God do some of the work for you! :)

Why your dd's father has access to your account is beyond me- start a new account and transfer funds to there, and don't let anyone have access to it! If they root through your things looking for the bank card or statements, have them sent to a trusted individual- or keep the card on yourself (yes, even sleeping!) and keep the most recetn statements hidden and shred the rest so they can't access the account numbers.

And you never mentioned the city and state you live in- maybe one of us can find you help!

XSummersXmommyX
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:54 AM

I have a debit account, i dont have a bank account right now, and YES i have started sleeping with that damn card on me...and OUCH! lol. When i say i "try hard" i mean i do what i am supposed to in order to achieve the things i need and want. I just know my dd deserves more..and i NEED to be the one to give it to her.

   Im in LONG ISLAND, New York...an expensive Hell...:o(

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