we are trying...really really trying..but feeling like its still not enough!
I've had some real discouraging moments lately in the care with RJ. I just feel like everything we are trying to do for him are foreshadowed and unimportant to his parents and his case worker. We are trying to advocate for him and are being told that its not our decision. His case manager is telling and talking all the time with his family...instead of asking us what works for us and what's the best for RJ. When i disagree with her she tells me its ultimately her decision what he will and will not do..or when he will or will not do it. I understand this as RJ is a ward of the state and I am only his caregiver. But with autism I do havea lot to say about and for RJ. I understand his disorder and know what works best for him and yes and I am thinking of the chaos she and his family are causing us! I get real frustruated by her attitude lately and don't even get me started AGAIN on his deadbeat parents. ugh ugh ugh!!
I knew careing for him was going to be a thankless job and top of that we are not being compensated at all for his care..not from his parents or the state. It seems that the wonderful care we are providing him is insignificant! I realize this is my job...to do it with an open heart and for no reward in the end. My brain tells me this...but my other naughty brain tells me that these people should be more thankful and caring for the ultimate sacrifice we are making for RJ and his parents. On top of that the state would be paying buko bucks to have him in a center with special attention for autism.
Now his behaviors are in overdrive again and I see his parents, school and case manager leaning on us for the reason they are becomming prevalent again. We are trying to return our life to normalcy again...like going to church every sunday (together) with church in the pm sometimes and wed night bible studies...which these do not fit in so good with his 8p bedtime routines. Our faith also needs to be protected and he and they are severely interfereing with this. I believe its gods will we go and together as a family is important. RJ needs to adjust now... and everyone needs to be supportive of this for us. The pants wetting , swearing, and name calling gets very overwhelming and time consuming. I cannot help these things,,really they are out of our control and we can only deal with them as they come. with not many ways to correct these problems it takes time. I would correct my child with a spanking...which is frowned upon...but would make them absolete with caring and loving (yes) physical discipline. it would work for him....i believe.
I guess, you could say, i'm totally feeling sorry for myself and family. Yes I totally am. we had the weekend before last off from him and can i say it was complete and utter JOY. That's mean I know. It was so great to have normalcy and no watching over your shoulder all the time. I know all the progress RJ has made is mainly because of him staying here...so I know we have made a difference for him...but now i'm questioning if we really are what's best for him. To reunite with his family, i think, he really needs someone to help him through this and I do not think I can do that for him. I cannot watch, nor put up with, the gut wrenching and obscene behaviors and visits/therapy he will go thru...all for his parents to never be able to handle him. Hell, I've got it going on...and look what kind of a state i'm in :( :0 :>