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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

HELP! My middleschooler Aspie is in trouble again!

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 3:36 PM
  • 6 Replies

My son is 13. We've know he is Asperger's since kindergarten. He was in trouble previously this year for disrupting class and not turning in assignments. He is now turning in assignments but I found out today that after being SO good in class... he's calling other students "stupid" when they answer a question wrong in class. He's done it 2 days in a row in math class. I'm appalled that he would humiliate another student this way. I don't know what to do! He's close to getting suspended this year. I don't know WHY he is acting this way and I don't know how to STOP him from doing this!


by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 3:36 PM
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AnnaNonamus
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 5:08 PM
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It's possible he doesn't understand in the heat of the moment that what he is saying is hurtful. It could just be blurting. My daughter struggles with blurting- whatever is in her head is out there for pretty much anyone to hear about half the time.

When she says something that is hurtful, or mean, or just rude, I talk with her about what was said, and ask if she would be upset if someone called her stupid. Usually, she struggles more so after schedule changes- first few weeks of school,a week or two after Spring and Winter break, etc. when things change, it makes it more stressful to her, and she has less control over her blurting, and how she controls herself.

She is almost 11, btw.
tincher2004
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:09 PM
Thanks for your reply Anna.
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LoveMyTrio
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree.  It's probably blurting.  They can't control that.  The "stop. think" piece just isn't there for Asbergers.  It's not his fault.  He probably knows it's wrong too, but they just can't help it.  Isn't there some protection given his diagnoses?  This is pretty typical behavior for this diagnoses.  He is not deliberately hurting anyone. 

tincher2004
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:11 AM
We're setting up an IEP meeting a little early this year. He apologized to his Algebra teacher and the two boys he insulted, he also apologized to the class this morning. We found out, after dragging the truth out of him, that some of the other kids verbally bully him. They say "you've got problems!" And "are you in Special Ed or something?". It breaks my heart to hear that. He says he doesn't know the names of the kids who tease him. His IEP meetings have always been pretty productive so I'm looking forward to talking to everyone. Maybe we can figure something out.
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chellebelle04
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:48 AM


Quoting tincher2004:

We're setting up an IEP meeting a little early this year. He apologized to his Algebra teacher and the two boys he insulted, he also apologized to the class this morning. We found out, after dragging the truth out of him, that some of the other kids verbally bully him. They say "you've got problems!" And "are you in Special Ed or something?". It breaks my heart to hear that. He says he doesn't know the names of the kids who tease him. His IEP meetings have always been pretty productive so I'm looking forward to talking to everyone. Maybe we can figure something out.

I have to agree with everyone else here that he is probably blurting...My son was just diagnosed but he's always had the blurting type behavior, and is so brutally honest...one day he told a little boy down the road he played with that he was leaving because he was boring...I was thinking yay you played with another kid, but was mortified that the kid would never again want to invite him over.

The bullying thing angers me to no end!  My son is in 3rd grade and gets it already they say he's weird and a cry baby...I have spoken with the school about it several times and it's like they don't take it seriously because he's still so young they think it's just teasing I think...To my son him hearing he's weird by one kid makes him feel like all the kids at his new school must think that about him...he's too literal of a thinker!

I hope you get some understanding from the school when you have his IEP meeting, especially given that this is a very common behavior for aspie kids.  It breaks my heart for what he may be going thru at school, it is tough on any kid in social situations, and add aspergers/autism on top of that and kids are like vultures attacking!

BDSMI
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:02 PM

Middle School is rough and I have learned just not the place for my ASD child.  I am in the process of pulling my son out of middle school and putting him into an autism school.  Kids are cruel.  My son was getting bullied in the hallways, at lunch, and on the bus....it was making his behavior worse because he starting mimicing those bullies not realizing it was wrong to do so....

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