"Mean moms" at the pumpkin farm, and learning a lesson....
Today my daughter's father, myself and our daughter went to a local pumpkin nursery..it was a rip off to be honest..$36 for all 3 of us..and then things like the bounce house, hay ride, and pony rides were EXTRA!
Anyways..I had been looking forward to picking pumpkins with my daughter all week, but to be honest, again...i did'nt have a very nice time. My daughter's father wouldn't stop complaining about how expensive the pumpkins were...so we didn't buy any. Then when our daughter wanted to look/talk to the farm animals they had (i was unde rthe impression they had a petting zoo....we basically paid $36 to stare at a few farm animals behind a wire fence *rolls eyes*)...her father kept pacing around like he was bored...which kinda annoyed me, i mean our kid LOVES animals and she loves talkin to them..i was taking pictures, and not ONCE did HE say "let me take some" or "get in there, lets get a picture of you and our daughter".
So after our dd made it clear she in no way wanted to do the hayride, or the pony ride (altho again, she LOVED watching it pace around the small circle corral it was in)...we made our way to the bounce houses...and they had this one that was like a BIG pumpkin dome, filled with air, and had balloons blowing around in it. My daughter showed NO interest in it, until she saw another little girl her age going in, so....we hurried to get her a ticket *it was $4.50 for ONE ticket...and i had told the burn out guy that was manning teh bounce houses that i would get him the ticket but coukd he PLEASE just allow my daughter in while that little girl was still in there, cause i knew if she got out before we got her the ticket she wouldnt wanna go in...and he wouldn't allow her in. I was pissed i mean REALLY?! I paid $36 cover charge im not gonna burn you for a meesely ticket*....and she went inside. As i stood outside of the it, watching her from the clear "windows" of the pumpkin (the eyes of it)...i could see her and the other little girl. My dd, kept focuse don the lone purple balloon, SCREAMING "Hey, hey!" at it, as she tried to catch it, while it blew around..The other little girl was laughing and playing, waving to her mommy who was beside me looking into the other "window". I could see the little girl shooting my daughter these looks....looks of annoyance and irritation. Summer (my daughter) just kept chasing the balloon..laughing, and saying "hey balloon!!"...she even peered up at me and waved a few times.
The little girl exited the air pumpkin, and she said to her mom, "Ugh i wanna wait til that girl gets out! She's weeeeeiiiiiird!!"....and thats when i felt them, tears...tears dripping down my cheeks uncontrolably. It took every fiber of my being not to turn to this kid and her mom, and say SOMETHING (what i dont know, but im sure i could think of something)....but i stayed quiet. I stepped to the side of the pumpkin and wiped my eyes. My dd's father noticed i was crying and gave me a "look" of "whats wrong?!"..but i waved him away. I went back to watching my darling little girl enjoying herself, beautifully laughing with innocense and sheer joy....which of course made me cry HARDER....watching my darling being so sweet, so happy....and so DIFFERENT from a little girl that was the same age as she. I wasn't sad, i was HAPPY my daughter was different from taht "typical" child...my daughter doesnt judge, lie, mock, tease, or discriminate....she likes everyone...and she shares...shes a GENUINELY GOOD KID....where this "typical" kid wasn't...she was nasty...and she was only 3 maybe 4.
As im standing there, tears saturating my shirt and face i am laughing hysterically at my wonderful little girl, who is chasing the purple balloon in circles, her hair blowing all over! I was gettin it all on camera.....suddenly, the burn out ticket taker says, "Maam, you gotta get that kid out now....other kids wanna go in"....and im like "Ok, so let them in! Or is it one child per however many minutes??" (which we BOTH knew would be bullshit if he said that was it, cause there had been that other little girl in it with my daughter only moment before).....the guy gave me this look of desperation, cause there was a small group of parents murmurring how their kids wanted to go in, but NOT while that little girl was in it...i soon realized the little girl who had called my dd weird was just one child in a group of many...and all their moms were friends...so she mustve told them about "the weird little girl" and how she wont go in til shes out, so THEY now wouldn't go in til she was out. I felt awful, and i felt alone...like my daughters father was OBLIVIOUS to all of this going on...and here i was to deal with it alone like always.
I allowed Summer 5 more minutes, and by that point i wanted to get as far away from that group of moms and their brats, cause i was loosing control and was bound to say or do something very un-ladylike. I had to go INSIDE this HUGE pumpkin air dome to get my daughter out, and of course she kicked, hit me, screamed, cried....and as i retrieved her...she lost a shoe so i was forced to go back in and get it. As i hugged my little girl tight to my body, rubbing her back, shooshing her softly, and whispering taht its ok....i could feel the eyes on the parents and that burn out shmuck on me...and just as i started to tell myself "who cares what they think"....i hear one of the little kids ask their mom , "whats WRONG with her?!?!" and the mother simply said, "NO, theres nothing WRONG....look at her! Shes just a spoiled brat"....i wanted to die...how could someone be so ignorant and cruel? a fellow mother with a toddler called MY baby a spoiled brat?? One of the other moms said , "No...i don't think tahts the case..she probably has that Autism"....and i never once said anything..i just kept my focus on my daughter, the way she had focused on that purple balloon...she was all that mattered, and it was time to go...SHE had a good time, and thats all i wanted....was to enjoy a day out with my wonderful, kind hearted daughter...
What gets me, is that if a child doesn't "LOOK" like there is something "Wrong" with them, they are automatically deemed a brat if they act out...and with 1 in 80 kids being dx'd with some form of ASD, you would think MOST parent's would be at least SLIGHTLY informed on it....i don't think my skin will EVER be thick enough, to wheere it doesnt hurt me a little when some kid or person makes a judgment about me baby girl...and i think she is so easily written off my others as "weird" or "quirky" because she is SO high functioning, that her quirks, are deemed as just "weird behavior", and not a "disorder" which is SO OFF THE TARGET.....I just want my little girl to be happy, to enjoy the things she likes and is interested in....and like i did today...i will ALWAYS be there for my baby girl, but i know in my heart there will come a time where she technically wont be my "baby" anymore, and i wont be able to bear hug her, and carry her outta the situation to safety....and as kids get older they get MEANER a lot of time..so when she is in junior high, or high school...SHE will be the one that will have to have the thick skin..she will be the one who will have to speak up against the "mean girls" who call her names..and like i did so many years ago at the pumpkin farm, i will be there to hug her, tell her i love her and that she is so wonderful that her meere exsistance is proof there is a God.
Someone once told me that Special parents get Special needs kids, cause WE can give them all the "SPECIAL LOVE" it is they so need....and now i know why she said that....cause it takes a certain kind of woman to do what we do...and i love ALL you moms who have been here for me...and i will ALWAYS be here for you...whether its a hug you need, an ear to vent too, a shoulder to cry on, or simply someone to shoosh you and tell you its gonna be alright...