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In laws not acknowledging your little one's being "different?"

Posted by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:21 PM
  • 5 Replies

My in laws REFUSE to acknowledge the fact that my twins have ASD. They are starting preschool in a couple weeks, they will not only be in a regular setting but also in special would they be in special ed if there were NO issues?  They love to say stupid non thinking things to me like "I don't know why she doesnt eat" when it comes to my daughter having MAJOR food issues and sensory issues with things in her mouth or "oh they're fine, I think a road trip and 50 people singing happy birthday at the tops of their lungs shouldnt effect them at all, they'll have FUN!"...when loud noises make both burst into tears....What...the HELL!?  Even their father knows little to nothing about ASD and refuses to even be bothered to find any information out.  So, I'm just the "controlling, bitch mom who uses her kids as excuses to get out of things"....

Nice huh?!

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:21 PM
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:29 PM
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Most NT (neuro typical) people DON'T get it. I am blessed to have family that does get it. Maybe the book "too bright too loud" would be good. I can't remember the authors name. Ask your OT for resources as well.
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:17 PM

I understand. My inlaws don't give us a hard time, but I can relate to the 'excuses' of having to pass on certain activities.

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:32 PM

that stinks :(  I know what it's like to have your child's medical condition or special needs denied.  My son was over a year old before my MIL accepted that he was a preemie.

You are their mother for a reason, maybe because you are strong enough to stand up to the enormous pressures brought by uncaring/ignorant family and actually protect your babies

by Emma on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:53 PM

my extended family struggles to see it in either me OR my son, but specifically my son. I think it's easier for them to see it in me, because i'm older and set in my ways and more vocal about sensory issues, and being literal, and less cute.

my son's a cute kid, who does a lot of age appropriate things and then acts much younger than he is, and he still has that "little kid cute factor" bubble going on for the extended family who still think of him as a tiny little kid at almost 9 because he ACTS much younger than he is.

When he's still acting that way at 13... or 18... they may have to face reality.

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:56 PM
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I am the grandpaent and the mother in law to Tyler's mom.  We do okay, agree on most things, I have to step back on occasion and let her do it her way.  But Tyler is always glad to see me and talks on the phone to me on a regular basis.  My daughter in law has done her best to give Tyler all the experiences a boy his age should have.  But she knows, and I'll admit sometimes before it dawns on me, when he's had enough.   She and my son trust my husband and me  completely with both boys, Tyler has a younger brother who is two.  If your in laws have time take them along to speech therapy or a doctors appt. so they can  see what is going on in their grandchild's life and hear it from someone besides you.   I also participate each year in the Walk Now For Autism Speaks event, a rewarding experience.  There is so much literature out there to educate them.  It is hard when out kids look normal to accept that their behavior is not always going to be that way.  Tyler's Autism could never make me love him any less.

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