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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

I am heartbroken

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 11:24 PM
  • 10 Replies

 

Poll

Question: do you think based on what i said my son is asd

Options:

yes keep on trying there is no perfect path

yes but wait until you have an official diagnosis to do anything

no he sounds like a normal three year old be tougher

other - i am not good at making polls


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 11

View Results

to give a little back story a year ago when my son was two i started working at a daycare - my daughter had speech issues and my dh is uber shy so i honestly didnt think anything of my son not socializing or talking much - one of the local coaches told me that john didnt like to listen during story time but i blew it off over the last year several people have given me hints and now i am doing alot of research and it is looking very much like he is on the spectrum altough i really wish i had more answers - it is going to take him at least six months to be formally tested and my husband remains in denial that anything is wrong - between his tantrums over things not going his way and him waiting to poop in his pull up at night every night  - i am getting so frustrated and feel very alone - i dont feel like i have any support or answers no one really realizes what my life is like with him right now - its so confusing because some days he acts more "typical" and other days it seems like he has more "spectrum" issues - his teachers at my daycare dont understand his teacher compares him to her typical two year old and says that he is the way he is because i cater to him another teacher told me that if he was diagnosed then they will have schools for him and that is where he belongs which infuriated me - tonight when i went in to change his pullup because it always needs changing - he had it spread all over him from head to tail all over his bed and bedding and some even on the floor like he was waiting for me to come and clean it up - he has started speech therapy and the lady last week said what a good job he was doing because he said the word cookie and would give her eye contact if he plays and gives eye contact does that mean he is typical becasue there are so many more things going on than just that - he is getting evaluated again for speech and developmental delays on thursday but if it is like any of his other evaluations i will be told that there is a possibility but i need to wait the six months or more until a dr can diagnose him it gets so frustrating - this summer when we were on vacation he liked being in the water with me and my mom so i signed us up for a mommy and me swim class he screamed the entire time - i dont want to torture him but i dont want to keep him locked up either - i had already tried socializing him in an acrobatic class he wouldnt have it i hope i am doing the right thing for my little man but he doesnt fit in a specific mold and i dont want to give it a name prematurely if it isnt the case but at the same time i am soo tired of other people thinking they know whats best for him when they arent the ones that have to deal with him 24/7 thanks for reading this if you are still awake

by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 11:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jb022210
by on Oct. 22, 2012 at 1:10 AM
2 moms liked this

ive been going through the evaluation progress for months now, and finally this thursday is his official evaluation. Its very hard thinking your child may be on the spectrum, but as all these ladies have told me, it does not change a thing, it doesnt change your child, it opens up for more resources and more help for him.i truely hope you get the anwsers your looking for soon, and i started in may and finally did my research and found a place that could get him in sooner, if for your sanity you could look around for other places that would be willing to test him. once i found this place it only took a little over a month for his appointment. whereas i was still waiting for an appointment at the other place. if you ever need someone to talk to im here. and welcome to the group =)

GrammaJane46
by Member on Oct. 22, 2012 at 1:16 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm up, I'm reading, and I'm empathetic.  We are finally getting the first evaluation appointment in 10 days after waiting nearly 6 months.  In the meantime, we have our good days and our bad days; our days when poop is all over the bedroom - our girl prefers to go during her "nap" time --; our meltdowns and our days when she appears totally normal except for her speech delay.  Hang in there! and keep on blogging.  It helps.


PS  We get lots of unsolicited advice, too.  Smile, say thanks, and walk away.  Only you know what it takes, emotionally and physically, to deal with your son.  God provided your wonderful boy with a mom who will do what it takes to keep him safe and as happy as possible.  Prayers and hugs coming your way!!


Goofycutemom
by on Oct. 22, 2012 at 6:40 AM
Thanks ladies it just gets so discouraging sometimes and my husband thinks he is typical but I think he like living in the land of denial I'm hoping that whatever is going on we find out and in the meantime god gives me lots of patience
sheila5745
by on Oct. 22, 2012 at 7:30 AM
1 mom liked this

You just said it. " wait for the diagnosis. But you know him best. Just love them and be there. I know it is hard. I raised 2 older kids, (they are 34 & 35) now I have a soon to be (next month) 14 yr. old. I knew there was something wrong. I have had her diagnosis for since she was 3. It is hard to hear those words. She has autism, then she was about 9 when her testing showed she was mental retarded.  It still replays in my mind, when I think about her future. wow... I just love her and do the best that I can with her,  We do the best we can do for them..That is her on the pic..

sheila5745
by on Oct. 22, 2012 at 7:32 AM


Quoting GrammaJane46:

I'm up, I'm reading, and I'm empathetic.  We are finally getting the first evaluation appointment in 10 days after waiting nearly 6 months.  In the meantime, we have our good days and our bad days; our days when poop is all over the bedroom - our girl prefers to go during her "nap" time --; our meltdowns and our days when she appears totally normal except for her speech delay.  Hang in there! and keep on blogging.  It helps.

 

PS  We get lots of unsolicited advice, too.  Smile, say thanks, and walk away.  Only you know what it takes, emotionally and physically, to deal with your son.  God provided your wonderful boy with a mom who will do what it takes to keep him safe and as happy as possible.  Prayers and hugs coming your way!!

 

Geat idea here... smile and walk away........... love it...

MistyMoo
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2012 at 7:39 AM
My son was diagnosed when he was three and the day care he was in when he was two basically kicked my son out. They told me to get my son evaluated and then kicked him out. They weren't even nice about it. I was SOO angry! I'm still upset about how they handled it. Anyways he turned out to severely autistic, but I don't think it's autism, I think it's something else.
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mali321
by on Oct. 22, 2012 at 9:35 AM

He may be on the spectrum, but you only listed a few things that he does, so I do not want to judge. If YOU are concerned with how your son is learning and growing then by all means get him evaluated. If they don't suspect ASD they will give you their opinion of what may be going on to direct you in the right path. You are doing nothing wrong and doing what is best for your son. Good luck mama.

Macphee
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2012 at 10:05 AM

The behaviors he has speech, sensory, difficulty with transition, screaming, lack of socializing sound like definite delays. Does he flap his hands, toe walk, rock or spin?

Remember, the spectrum is a combination of behaviors, speech issues and social issues. I know that it is difficult. Know that you have support here. My husband went through the same thing as yours of being in denial. But 2 years post diagnosis, he is our son's greatest champion. Seeing the improvement in our son's speech and social skills has encouraged him to get help for his anxiety/add behaviors.

I understand your frustration with him pooping in his pullup. My son is five and does the same thing. I try to sit him on the potty two or three times a day and encourage him to poop. When it comes to smearing it, I relate. My son tries to "clean" himself, but anytime his fingers or hands are dirty, he wipes them on his face. So I have found him with poop smeared on his clothes, the floor, his bed, and his face. I can relate.

I know its difficult, but here take a deep breath. Clean him up, try to explain calmly about poop in the potty. I then usually go outside or stuff my face in a pillow and scream. We have been through the same thing.

Basherte
by Silver Member on Oct. 23, 2012 at 7:50 AM

Call early intervention. It sounds like he is in the spectrum, but I'm not a doctor.


Goofycutemom
by on Oct. 26, 2012 at 10:50 PM
Thanks ladies he still doesn't have an official diagnosis but the child find program here in Florida evaluated him this week and probably by the first of the year he will be in a special class for kids who have autism and more serious special needs my dd went through the same program for speech but my son needs more help so he isn't eligible to go to the same school she did in pre k I know that this isn't the end of the world but just kind of discouraging to once again to be slightly told something's really wrong but we aren't the person who diagnosis so we can't tell you what we really think tomorrow is day 2 in swim lessons with me of course last time he didn't stop screaming I hope tomorrow is better
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