Something Isn't Right With my Baby Girl :'(

[MomToAyla743]

We have an appointment scheduled for her evaluation on Monday. She will not get a diagnosis then though, only approved or not for therapy. I know in my gut that something is wrong. She has almost every red flag for autism but Aspergers is so similar.

I just left my therapist's office because I am having panic attacks. One after another. I am physically sick to my stomach and can barely catch my breath. She finally went down for her nap, so now I have allowed the tears to start coming. I don't want her to see me like this! She probably wouldn't notice that I am crying, but I still have to hold back when she can see me

I guess what I am looking for here is some encouraging words or advice. This is all so new to me. Is there a chance that she will have a "normal" life if she is autistic? Could she ever make friends, go to college, get married, have a family? I want her to be happy so bad. I would give my life for her happiness. She is 22 months old, BTW.

Somebody, please help me!

[MomToAyla743]

BUMP!

[mommy2angel]

I know how scary it is and I worry about my sons future too. I want him to get married and have a happy life but even if our children aren't able to do those things they can still have a happy life. Good luck to you and know you are not alone!

[MomToAyla743]

Thank you!

Quoting mommy2angel:

I know how scary it is and I worry about my sons future too. I want him to get married and have a happy life but even if our children aren't able to do those things they can still have a happy life. Good luck to you and know you are not alone!

[A_McCool]

It is impossible to look at any 22 month old child and predict how that child will be as an adult.  However, autism does not preclude happiness.  Can autistic people get married, have a family, go to college?  Sure, I did/am doing all of those things.  Does an autistic person or any person for that matter have to do those things to be happy?  No.  Not even all neurotypical people do or want to do those things.  The most important thing is getting the child the help she needs to lead a fulfilling life.

[amonkeymom]

Welcome to the group.

Sure, she can have a normal life... Normal for her.  :)

We have moms here who are on the spectrum or who have husband's on the spectrum.  So yes, she can have all of that.

[blessedhappymom]

I went through the same feelings. I almost felt like there was a death. After getting the run around with the school district for early intervention services and a neurologist that wanted to put him on a med, but couldn't tell me the side effects, we walked away from everything. I couldn't even say the word autism. Everything was focused on what my son couldnt do instead of pointing out his strengths. Some time had passed and I noticed my son made progress but was still behind in his speech and social skills. His doctor gently recommended speech and occupational therapies. I agreed. I finally had courage to look at autism speaks. It was there that I was given the greatest hope. They have a spokesperson names Kerry Margro. He has a video blog called My Autism my Voice. I heard him telling his story and broke down crying, it was the first time that I saw great progress. He has gone through it all and is now in graduate school and speaks in front of many people to advocate for those with autism. I learned that right now my son is climbing a mountain and he won't reach the top in five minutes, but he will reach the top eventually. There is hope! It's not always easy, but there is hope.

[Jadnorton]

Your normal will be replaced by a new diffention of normal. Not better or worse. Just different. My boy is 5. I wouldn't trade anything he is for anything in the world. He has some non typical behaviors but he is also non typical in his knowledge of facts. He goes to a normal preschool and functions so well that most people can not tell something is different. They have an idea but they just can't point it out. He also has friends and social activities. How I look at it, his autism is just like him having blue eyes. He wouldn't be the same boy without it. He has made mass improvements over the last year and a half.

Your child will still be the same child as she was before diagnoses. You will just have more information on how she thinks, feels, etc and its way to get therapies and services to enable your child to be the most she can be. Also, never put the line of success for your child based on your child's diagnoses.

The overwhelming fear and disappointed will pass. Most of us face that at one point of another. Some of those same feelings will surface from time to time. My best advice for you will be to write down everything you absolutely love about your daughter. Funny things she does, great activities that she enjoys, etc. Read the list after every doctors appointment and every time you receive a report about your daughter. Most medical people tend to focus on the non typical or negative. If you have a list of positive to counteract it, it will help. It helps not to get to narrow a focus too. :) Good luck.

[Jadnorton]

Oh and about "normal" life. My five year old has a "girl friend" and both of them talk about how it will be great when they get older and get married and don't have to follow moms rules. I'm not worried that when he is older that he will be able to establish a relationship and have all of those things.

[MomToAyla743]

I have not thought about it that way. I am terribly uninformed  about this other than symptoms. Thank you for your honesty! I think you used a much better word than I chose. Fulfilling is a much better word for what I meant than happy.

Quoting A_McCool:

It is impossible to look at any 22 month old child and predict how that child will be as an adult.  However, autism does not preclude happiness.  Can autistic people get married, have a family, go to college?  Sure, I did/am doing all of those things.  Does an autistic person or any person for that matter have to do those things to be happy?  No.  Not even all neurotypical people do or want to do those things.  The most important thing is getting the child the help she needs to lead a fulfilling life.

[MomToAyla743]

Thank you! I feel like it is my mission now to help her make whatever she wants to happen, happen KWIM?

Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome to the group.

Sure, she can have a normal life... Normal for her.  :)

We have moms here who are on the spectrum or who have husband's on the spectrum.  So yes, she can have all of that.