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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

lonely son

Posted by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:03 AM
  • 14 Replies
my 16 year old son has asperger and he doesn't have friends. I don't even known peers that are willing to befriend my son. He use to really stress the issue about waiting friends since he was 13 but now its to where all he does is set n the dark or lay down. It hurts to see him this way and i know it difficult for him to express his feelings. I wish my son could have friends or a cute lil girlfriend. Any advice to how i can help my son

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by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
blessedhappymom
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:16 AM
What about finding another teenager with aspergers. I read a book, can't remember the title or author, but the author had a weekly group with only aspies and it was to help with friendship making skills and social skills. Try googling something like that in your area.
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Tammi4
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 1:18 AM
I wish I had advice. My son is 27 and he still has that problem. It just breaks my heart.
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isotoner
by Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 5:38 AM

 My son is 10.  On Fridays, his speech teacher leads a meeting with a group of ASD kids.  He hasn't gained any friends from this, but it shows him that there are other kids in town similar to him. 

Fergablu2
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:12 AM

Maybe you could find a social group for Asperger teens in your area. My son is technically a teenager, but he only functions on the level of a toddler and hasn't reached puberty yet, so I don't have that problem. 


Autism Mom since 2001
amonkeymom
by Amy on Nov. 21, 2012 at 3:10 PM

This is a great idea.  My son is high functioning ASD and his best friend is a little girl with a PDD diagnosis.  They can really relate better than kids who don't understand.

Quoting blessedhappymom:

What about finding another teenager with aspergers. I read a book, can't remember the title or author, but the author had a weekly group with only aspies and it was to help with friendship making skills and social skills. Try googling something like that in your area.


jmegee
by Jayme on Nov. 21, 2012 at 4:05 PM

AWESOME idea. I am in Indiana and we have those groups for teens here!

Quoting blessedhappymom:

What about finding another teenager with aspergers. I read a book, can't remember the title or author, but the author had a weekly group with only aspies and it was to help with friendship making skills and social skills. Try googling something like that in your area.


blessedhappymom
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 4:25 PM
In the book I read about that talked about the group for teenagers with aspergers, the kids said they felt better being around kids that were just like them. I'll go to the library and see if I can find that book and post the title. I picked up so many books that day :-)


Quoting amonkeymom:

This is a great idea.  My son is high functioning ASD and his best friend is a little girl with a PDD diagnosis.  They can really relate better than kids who don't understand.

Quoting blessedhappymom:

What about finding another teenager with aspergers. I read a book, can't remember the title or author, but the author had a weekly group with only aspies and it was to help with friendship making skills and social skills. Try googling something like that in your area.



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whoodathunk
by Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 7:21 AM

My son is only 11 but was going through similar of being lonely and wanting someone to play with. I put him in everything possible.  Church choir and youth group, chess club, baseball, karate...most were free, some reasonably priced.  It did take a while, he made social mistakes along the way, but he made two friends!  It can't stop there though.  You need to help him learn to maintain the friendship without  overdoing it.  You may need to really play a role in getting him to talk or behave appropriately.   You may need to apologize a few times for unacceptable behavior.  Look for activists that will draw other kids like your son...good luck!  

JKent958
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 11:46 AM

You might see about "hiring" a teenager who is interested in helping special needs kids.  Contact your local school because most of the schools now require community service in order to graduate.  Perhaps you could have a student come to your house and interact with your child.  When I was in high school, I worked as a mother's helper after school and got this position through the school.  I am 69 now so it isn't a recent idea.  Your son need not know how you obtained this person.

My grandson is 8 and is just beginning to make friends.  He attends a special school so most of his friends are "different" but when he gets angry, filthy words come out.  Most parents wouldn't approve of this!  However, he is learning to interact with other kids.  Thank goodness.  GMA Judy

tictacmama
by Arlea on Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:45 PM

 I have been told that shared interests interests is key for children on the spectrum who have difficulty making friends, so see if there is a group available for him to join, even if they are older.

 For example if he is really into trains see if there is a historical train restoration group around. Or if he's into comics and card games most comic book stores hold card tournaments on their premises at least twice a month. No, this might not get them on the football team but is can help them to branch out in a field they feel comfortable in. And the more comfortable a ASD kid feels, the more likely he is to talk.

Good luck!

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