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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

How do you deal with stranger's ignorant comments

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I try to plan my errands to be short and have plenty of activities for my 2 year old to do so he doesn't become disruptive.  We went to a few stores and he was fine.  I really needed to get some things at the post office.  The line was about  6 or 7 people.  It was moving so we waiting.  The person in front of us was taking a long time up there and my son became antsy with some random crying and wanting to be held then he wanted to sit on the floor which was filthy so I wouldn't let him.  This ghetto piece of trash behind me said "Mine would have been slapped and in a corner by now" Of course I want to turn around and curse her the hell out because explaining to someone with that low mindset what autism is is probably a waste of my time.   Instead I just hang my head and feel like I want to cry.  My son doesn't stress me out, it is the ignorant comments from others.   This isn't the first time. At another post office the worker who is not a friendly person to begin with looked at me and said "oh God" once when my son was making these "Eek. eek, eek" sounds.   I told her "He is autistic".  She didn't respond at all, no apology, nothing.   In one way I figure people who are treating us like this are worthless anyway but then on the other hand, they need education at a time where 1 in 88 kids are autistic, surely it will hit their own family or friend's some day. 

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:53 PM
Replies (21-25):
joelenemc
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:52 AM
1 mom liked this

I ninja kick people in the head.... then tell them to shut their ignorant faces. Oh wait, I only do that in my head.  I usually say "This is Icy, she has autism... this is a very difficult environment for her and your ignorance really isn't helping" then give them the death stare. While mentally performing various karate skills I really don't posses.

JKent958
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 1:41 PM

I have been putting up with nasty comments and assumptions about my grandson for 8 years now.  The best thing is he is getting better and is more in control of his reactions.  However I am pretty sick of nasty remarks etc.  It has been a learning experience for me too not to judge people who are having problems with their children or to jump to conclusions.  I have been called an unfit grandmother and even chased from parks.  On the other hand, I have met "park angels" who offer advice and reinforce the love I feel for my grandson.  My daughter was even hit in the head by this "low-life" at Scandia - an arcade joint - because of her son!  My advice - continue to love and be an advocate for your children.  F those people!   Grandma Judy

supermomz25
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:53 PM

I have been pretty lucky to have people say anything directly to me personally, but I have felt the unwanted stares from rude people. When my son was around 4 he used to have huge meltdowns every time we went out, anywhere. It made it very difficult to go out, but I had to the shopping done. Also at time I was in a horrible abusive relationship and was basically a single mother with 2 young kids. Anyway, we were out at Target at he wanted to look at the toys. I told him that we weren't going to have time today, then 3...2...1...MELTDOWN! He was jumping up and down on his knees and screaming at the top of his lungs. I could feel the death stares of people as if to say, "what's wrong with you and why can't you control your child?" I was never embarrassed by his actions and I just very calmly but firmly took him by the hand, left the cart where it was and walked outside. I let him have his meltdown outside in front of the store (it took an hour for him to calm down). finally he stopped and I asked him if he was done. He said yes and then we went back into the store and we finished what I needed to do. BTW, the cart I had left, was still where I had left it, with everything still in it.

Yrez
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:14 AM

Most people don't say anything, they just stare. If they stare because he's flapping his hands, waving and yells 'BYYYEEEEEE!' - he does that a lot -, carrying along his precious collection of plastic bags from a certain department store or covers himself in sand or mud, in other words, when he's having fun, I really don't mind or even notice that people stare at us. When he has a tantrum, it feels really awkward. Sometimes I explain he has autism, sometimes I just try to ignore the staring. Once I explained it to a woman on the bus and she said: 'I already thought as much, I used to work with autistic children.' We had a very nice conversation. So staring doesn't always mean that people are being judgemental.

mightymo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:18 PM

your right she probably wouldn't have understood what you trying to explain to her anyway,but please don'yt hang your head , i understand wanting to cry but keep your head up it shows that you are more tolerant than they are ,and you are more tolerant because you have an understading of whats going on and you realize it if you see other kids acting out because we just know there might be something going on ,chin up (;

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