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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum
I strongly believe that my child's teacher is bullying him, but getting solid evidence to prove it to someone else is nearly impossible. Still, I contacted the principal to register a complaint. My job is to protect my son and believe him when no one else will. He says that she yells at him all the time, humiliates him in class, takes away his privileges for being disruptive, ... My son has AS. He's never been a troublemaker, but he can't control his excitement sometimes -- he's jovial which I love about him. His teacher calls him "annoying" and "rambunctious". My son calls her mean and hates going to school. He's always excelled academically until this year, his third-grad year. Now, he's in danger of failing and is *so* depressed when I pick him up from school. Something is horribly wrong in the classroom!! And, if anything else, his teacher knows that I intend to make it right!
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by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 4:15 PM
Replies (11-15):
bugsmama149
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:16 AM
3 moms liked this

Wow, I understand all of this because it happened to me too. Not my son......me. And I know what your son is going through. I was bullied by my math teacher all 3 yrs of junior high. It was horrible. I also was yelled at every day, humiliated, and called names. (annoying and "stubborn mule") were her two favorites. Now this all happened to me 25 yrs ago so things weren't as strict back then. So when my parents went to the school, nothing was done. The teacher had tenure and the principal said "his hands were tied". So I continued to be miserable and learn nothing in her math class which left me completely unprepared for high school algebra. I struggled all 4 yrs of high school and ended up sliding by my senior year with a D- in Pre-Algebra. To this day, I struggle with math. It bothers me to read that your son was excelling until this year. It's heartbreaking. To see your child so miserable every day. All because of one abusive teacher. Does your son's classroom have an intercom on the wall? I would demand that the principal allow you to come in his or her office while that teacher's intercom is on (without her knowledge) and listen to the classroom. If he won't allow that then go straight to the teacher. I would say go to the teacher first but I'd really like for you to get your proof by hearing it yourself. (even though you already know your son is telling the truth). Does his school have more than one 3rd grade room, maybe he could switch?  I just hate hearing about things like this. It's not fair that your son has to deal with this every day. He should be able to go to school and not feel scared and upset. I hope something gets resolved soon. Stand your ground. Don't let the school dismiss your concerns like my school did with my parents. Take care

MissTacoBell
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Well theres "rub off" from being too close to someone who was practically bathing in it, and this. His jacket stunk like it. It was like Justin Bieber teenie bopper perfume too. I got really tired of washing it every day just to get the stink out.


Quoting VioletsMomTown:

Wow, go MOM P.I.! I would have been so mad too if my kid was getting sprayed with perfume! A little perfume and I have a headache all day, imagine how a sensitive kid feels!


Quoting MissTacoBell:

Wire him. Let it record all day. I did that once last year when I noticed that he stunk like one of his aides cheap perfume and he didn't seem so like walking to class with her (loved the other aides and the head teacher). She would call him a PITA when he needed a new diaper. And she said "your clothes always smell musty" *spritz, spritz* that's better.



Played it for principle and head teacher. Aide magically got dismissed the next day. I used a plain lecture recorder I bought at Walmart. Set it to record and put it in his pocket. He has a dial in gps locator now and I can dial into his class anytime and listen to the goings on. His current class is awesome.



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Bluerose1482
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I would still meet with the principal and tell him that you'd like a new teacher, even if it is just a trail. We all sometimes get emotional about our kids. Once in an IAP meeting the district's compliance officer chimed in while we discussing the fact that my son was nearly two grade levels behind in reading (in 3rd grade mind you) that he was a young boy. At every meeting since first grade, she feels it necessary to point that out. I said, "Tracey, I know you really care about kids, but when you say that it makes me feel like you are minimizing the fact that my child has gained 2 months of reading ability in 2 years AND I don't feel like it adds anytrhing useful to the discusion, AND it makes me want to punch you in the face." We have had 3 meetings since then and she has never again pointed out his age or sex.
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grace1973
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I went through very similar problems when my daughter was younger.  She was labeled a 'troublemaker' and educators, classmates, even the principal jumped on the bandwagon.  Know your rights.  Contact a lawyer that specializes in child advocacy.  They will gladly give you a little FREE time and advice.  Contact your school district's special education director and complain.  GET IN FRONT OF THAT TEACHER'S FACE and make sure it is understood that further harassment will not be tolerable.  Be the squeaky wheel.  And lastly, do not take no for an answer.  I promise you, if you fight like a barracuda for the dignity of your child, things will change.  My daughter is now in High School and I have to tell you, the attitude of educators and the district in general have changed (for the better) by leaps and bounds.  The fact that I paid $300 for a child welfare advocate to show up in my place at an IEP didn't hurt either, by the way.  ;-)  Best $300 I ever paid.  And by the way, the day after the advocate showed up, they removed my daughter from the class where she was being bullied and had a special assembly to discuss bullying with the students. 

Hottubgodess
by Jackie on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to the hell called "compliance" and where individualized attention has gone away.  I dealt with this last year (2nd grade for my son).  It was a nightmare and ended up with classmates bullying him infront of the teacher, as well as the teacher bullying him.  I was also bullied by the mom of one of his bullies...who is also a teacher in that school.  Nice, huh....

Ask if you can observe class.  If told no, then go up the food chain (superintendent was my next stop).  If you have other parents who have had the same problem, take them with you.  Shows this isnt one isolated incident and you will be taken seriously.  Do everything in writing from now on.  Verbal agrements do not exist.  Do not drop this....push onward, but nicely.  Good luck.  You are not alone.

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