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Stupid teacher, how do I deal with her?

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My son had to switch schools. Not because of his behavior but because of others behavior and a lack of any help from the school. He's done really well with the switch. He's a stud. 

Well learning the ropes, routines, schedules of a new school is really challenging. It's hard for any kid to switch mid-year, but for any child on the AS its even worse. The first few days I've waked him in, helped him find his seat, helped learn what he has to do before class starts. All the things I can besides sit with him all day holding his hand. After school I pick him up and we go over the leaving for the day routines. Backpack, lunch box, homework, chair pushed in. And talk to the teacher about how the day went and everything else. I feel having a close relationship with my children's teachers helps. It helps teachers to know they can come to me. It makes sure my kids know there is no games allowed because I talk to the teacher.

anyway, he's been at this school almost 2weeks now. The teacher has already pulled me aside to discuss the possibility of my son having some form of autism. Check, nice going teacher, we are figuring that out as we speak. Another time she is sure he's somehow cheating on his math facts. Nope, he just knows them. Sorry teacher. A third time a different conversation comes up, she can read a story to the entire class, send them to take a quiz, my son doesn't pass. Only one in the class who doesn't. She's concerned about his comprehension and retention. I figure valid concern, how does she want me to help with this at home. We read every night, he is read to and reads on his own. She wants myself and her to try and help him learn how to remember books and stories. Remind him when he's quizzing, to read all the answers, think about whatever characters are in the question. Normal stuff. So I've been doing that with him. 

Today wonderful teacher snaps at me for doing just this. Helping my son. I'm not giving him the answers. I'm trying to help him remember by pointing out characters and the question. She snaps at me that at other school parents have to be 10feet away from quizzing students. I wanted to turn around nd flip her off. (I didn't) but it made my son shut down. He turned off the quiz and went and hid. I was so angry at her. Then here comes math facts. The kids get 1 minute to complete 40 problems. Ready set go, everyone is writing. The math brought my son back to his desk without anyone having to convince him. He loves his dang numbers that much. 1minute over and they go one more time. This time teacher lost track of time, the whole class only got 45 seconds (I was watching the clock) my son didnt finish his 40problems. He couldn't leave them blank though so he finished them after the time. Teacher came up to him very last and not looking at him or his paper told him his didnt count he cheated and if he cheats again she won't let him continue doing his math facts with the class. 

Yes I know he didnt finish on time. Yes I know he kept writing. But to tell him he cheated in front of the whole class, I'm one really angry, upset mom. I walked out after checking on my son. But I don't know what to say to teacher. I'm angry with her. 

How do I deal with this?

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 4:51 PM
Replies (11-19):
Basherte
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:31 AM

I agree here. It took me a minute to get out of the yelling and screaming at the teacher mode. Sorry. I wouldn't yell and scream at the teacher, just in my head. 

Good luck. I hope it turns out okay for you and your son.

Quoting blessedhappymom:

My good friend is a teacher. Her advice is to request a meeting with teacher and administrator to express concerns. Check to see if this is a problem with the teacher, the student or the work in general and focus on a resolution. Teachers can be bullies and you need to show moxy. Don't let her think she can push you or your son around.


BethBrubaker
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:03 AM

Others are giving good advice. I would point out that as an autism student, he should be allowed the extra time to finish if needed. They are supposed to allow this for the AS kids!

Eve-marie
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:44 AM

If you don't have a formal diagnosis, get one. Then find a special teacher because the wrong teacher can destroy a child. Any teacher who is not specially trained to deal with autistic children will have problems. Find out where your child belongs. 

bugsmama149
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:28 AM

Jesus, talk about making a difficult situation worse! I used to hate the timed math quizzes my son would have. "here you go kids, do these 100 problems in one minute". UGH, I never saw the point to that. We're always reminding our son at home that everything isn't a race you know? Apparantely at school, the faster you can do things, the smarter you are. (We homeschool now, I got fed up with public school).  To accuse your son of cheating was inexcusible. Poor kid. To make him feel like he did something that bad because he didn't put his pencil down. Sounds to me like the teacher is just plain annoyed with your son and she'll keep taking that annoyance out on him if somethings not done. It happened to me personally in school and it happened to my son. I'd start with a very direct sit-down talk with her. Like a serious, discussion outlining any and all aspects of your son's personality. Make sure she is fully aware of how much the negativity from his teacher affects him. Basically, with our kids, one inch of progress can be pushed back ten feet when they have a really negative encounter. (especially with an authority figure). I hope this situation gets better for your son. Take care

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:33 AM

 If the teacher suspects Autism than maybe she needs to read up on it. She needs to be taught about tact also. I would definately have a meeting with her and the principal. She seems to be a bully to me. For a teacher to confront the child in front of everyone is inexcusable. I would make her apologize to your son in front of the whole class and tell him how wrong she was and that she will not do it again. Have her be the center of attention and have the kids looking at her. There is a proper way to do things and if she is going to bully any child then she needs to choose another profession.

itsanewyear11
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 11:58 AM

Well he can get on a 504 until a IEP has been decided but you need to get a hold of the specail education director that facilitates the 504. My son is in the process of getting a IEP but this has been a uphill battle before this year he had no academic concerns. He was a A/B student I discovered that they can qualify under other factors for a IEP such as behavior, social nad psychological. You just have to take it to the right level and do not let them tell you what they cannot do instead tell me them what you KNOW they are supposed to be doing. I am having to do that this year as I have had enough with them telling my son has home issues and that is the reason he wanders out of class, cannot work in a calls that changes every 45 mins, take a test that is timed, So I can fully relate to your frustration. I would talk to her one on one and say that you can understand her frustration but that does not excuse her behavior at all.

grace1973
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:09 PM

Perhaps it is time to call a parent/teacher conference and ask the principal to attend? 

Bluerose1482
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:13 PM
I have a different take on it. She probably didn't like the fact that you were there while instruction/testing was going on. Lots of teachers are like that. You being there is a distraction for the whole class. What works for me may not work for you, but I would point blank ask if and when she thinks it would be helpful for me to be there.
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emarin77
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:26 PM


Quoting blessedhappymom:

My good friend is a teacher. Her advice is to request a meeting with teacher and administrator to express concerns. Check to see if this is a problem with the teacher, the student or the work in general and focus on a resolution. Teachers can be bullies and you need to show moxy. Don't let her think she can push you or your son around.


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