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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

That loud voice is driving me crazy!

Posted by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:31 PM
  • 20 Replies

How do you get your kids to lower their voices to a reasonable level? My eight year old son talks non stop and when he is excited his voice just gets louder and louder to the point he is practically yelling.  And it gives me headaches on occasion.  I tell him to take a deep breath and then tell me what he wants to say, but within a sentence or two he is back to full throttle in the volume department.  Nothing I say seems to stick with him and I guess I am looking for tips on how to teach him to control his own voice.  I really don't think he knows or realizes just how loud he is.  What have you found that works?

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kajira
by Emma on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:38 PM

If he's so excited he's yelling, give him a diary and have him write down what he's trying to say.... that way he can still share it - and give him the ability to stop and "think" about it before he talks... having him practice reading it out loud to you too, may help.


But the reality is, you may just spend 20 years reminding him to take a deep breath before he talks and remind him when he gets excited.

As an adult whos' autistic, I still have my moments when I get excited and have no volume control. ^.^ 

tictacmama
by Arlea on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:41 PM

 With my sons I play the "inside voices" game where we just play around saying silly things with our inside voices. Or just practice using them. I never play the game when he's already loud or distracted though. Then when we are in a public place (like church) and he gets loud I whisper "inside voice" in his ear and then he quiets down.

It only works half of the time though, Good Luck!

Ajisai43
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:25 AM

Aahhh, writing it down is a great idea.  He can work on his penmanship as well! Thanks for the idea!

supermomz25
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:26 AM

I just keep reminding them inside voices, while I am saying that in a quite voice myself. it seems to work pretty well.

Ajisai43
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:31 AM

The "quiet voice please", and "inside voice please" really seem to fall on deaf ears.  I have tried visual cues and they get his attention but it doesn't actually work.  When he was in kindy and they were inside they had to use the "ant's voice", which I thought was a great idea, but, well, he isn't an ant and shouldn't have to talk like one.  So literal, my boy! Aye aye aye...

KatyTylersMom
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:13 AM

Trick I learned which also works to ward off an oncoming tantrum:  kid is saying w/e it is over and over to get your attention (this happens roughly 1,000 times a day in my house) so I repeat that phrase, word, w/e (MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY) back but very softly while making it clear that it's a game with facial expressions, body language etc. pretty soon my daughter is whispering along with me and then I can whisper "what did you want honey" to her and she'll whisper the request. 

kajira
by Emma on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:04 AM

You are lucky that works. That would frustrate my son to the point of probably hitting you. LOL It's amazing how different our kids are, and the things that work with each one.... at least, I think it's interesting.


Quoting KatyTylersMom:

Trick I learned which also works to ward off an oncoming tantrum:  kid is saying w/e it is over and over to get your attention (this happens roughly 1,000 times a day in my house) so I repeat that phrase, word, w/e (MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY) back but very softly while making it clear that it's a game with facial expressions, body language etc. pretty soon my daughter is whispering along with me and then I can whisper "what did you want honey" to her and she'll whisper the request. 


Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

bugsmama149
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:53 PM

My son (11) does that too. Sometimes he gets to talking so loud that it makes me laugh. I find that lowering my voice when I'm telling him to lower his helps. Like I'll talk with him in a lowered voice and sort of "help" him down from the high volume. It doesn't bother me at home but when we're in public and he says something that he probably should have whispered.......ugh!!!  It can be a bit embarrassing. Thank God he's a pretty polite kid, doesn't make fun of people. But there are comments here and there that I wish he woulda had the volume turned down for! :)

A_McCool
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I still do this, often.  My husband just tells me that I'm being loud, and I try to adjust.  I don' t even realize that I'm doing it so if he were to just speak to me softly, I wouldn't know why, and I would continue to be loud.

lucasmadre
by Kari on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:52 PM

Hi, I asked at my sons last evaluation at school about this and they said it is often part of aspergers and some times a fear of not being heard or of forgetting what they are going to say if they don't get it out quicky. They said to try (as hard as it is) to validate what he says to you, mirror what he is saying "so you are saying you want to go outside?"

I don't think that will ever work with my son who has the same problem at home and at school. I suffer from migraines and sometimes I think my head will explode. We JUST started a new thing, it is called Quarters for Quiet- every time I notice he is being quiet on his own I put a quarter in the Quarters for Quiet jar and make a big deal about it. If he is being terribly loud even after a warning then I take a quarter out. My son LOVES money so this works for him but something else could be your "currency." That's all I've got for now, meanwhile I am considering earplugs :)

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