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Help!!

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:11 PM
  • 6 Replies

Hi My name is Mindi, I'm a 44 year old who's 7 1/2 year old has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers, a mild case of ADHD and dyslexia. I'm looking for advice and experience with the meltdowns/tantrums, separation anxiety, social anxiety, controlling my temper. Also would like to know about options about medication for the anxiety . Please share your experience on being diagnosed too.

Thanks
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:11 PM
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Replies (1-6):
JNDSMom05
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:16 PM

BUMP!

VioletsMomTown
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:51 PM

For meltdowns I have a couple of articles I can share that explain very well. (link) and (link). I would always go the natural route first before considering medications. Behavioral therapies or dietary changes. That's just my opinion.

JNDSMom05
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:03 PM

Thanks for the links! Thank you for your valued opinion:)

Macphee
by Silver Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:43 PM

Okay, meltdowns/tantrums.... even negative attention is attention. If fed, rested, and clean, ignore, ignore, ignore. Eventually will alternate with words. Separation anxiety, have a transition in place, pep talk, warning, etc. Social anxiety, kind of play with the kids yourself and act as a facilitator. I had issues with this with my almost 6 year old. His climbing and erratic behavior made kids uncomfortable. he went to a karate dojo where he can climb on the pull-up bar, the kids think that he is cool. They call him Tarzan. He just has to find his niche.

Your temper... well, I was bad, I still have my days. For me, I try to tell myself in my head, he's doing this because he's upset. I'll take a deep breath and in my head tell myself, my kids drive me crazy. When you're like this, it is best to separate yourself from them. This was my biggest lesson, emotions are not effective.

Medication for anxiety, talk to his pediatrician about this, but he was just diagnosed. Give it time with ABA and coping methods before medicines. ADHD, I'd say find a sport he likes. Good luck.

amonkeymom
by Amy on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:36 PM

Welcome Mindi!  I'm not sure about medication options, my son is not on any.

Quoting JNDSMom05:


Hi My name is Mindi, I'm a 44 year old who's 7 1/2 year old has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers, a mild case of ADHD and dyslexia. I'm looking for advice and experience with the meltdowns/tantrums, separation anxiety, social anxiety, controlling my temper. Also would like to know about options about medication for the anxiety . Please share your experience on being diagnosed too.

Thanks


kajira
by Emma on Dec. 19, 2012 at 4:26 PM

(Disclaimer, you didn't specify gender, so i'm using she. :P)

First, what diet and vitamins have you tried? a lot of times, fixing the diet/vitamins will help the brain fucntion better before messing with hardcore chemicals.

I'm autistic, with dyslexia - Diet/vitamin changes are *huge* for allowing my brain to function. the other thing is stress... what kind of things do you have in place to help with sensory needs, communication and stress?

I'll give you example - imagine that talking on the phone and trying to keep up with people gives you a migraine. It's really painful, but trying to explain to people when you don't even know what caused it as a kid, leads to you just being upset and lashing out because your head hurts and if you try to tell people, no one believes you or understands how badly the sensory stuff actually makes your head hurt.

Now - imagine being an adult, and being able to say "Okay, I need to get off the phone, I have to go for a bit because i'm getting a headache." Imagine, being able to walk away and sit quietly in a quiet environment for a few minutes, because you have the control to make that decision and insist that people respect your brain and sensory needs.

As a kid, you meltdown - but as an adult, you are able to fix the problem, the key here, to ME - is giving her tools to communicate what's bothering her, what caused it, and how to work with it. If you give her support and communication tools and down time for sensory/environment needs, you SHOULD see a huge decrease in meltdowns or lashing out.

As to the seperation anxiety, answer why questions. This is what this situation should look like and why, here's my # in your back pack, if you need me, i'm just a telephone call away, these are the situations where I expect you to call me immediately - have a plan in place that lets her know her "support system" is available if she needs it, that should help reduce some of the stress on her.

Meds may or may not work. I've been on every med under the sun from a young age and NOTHING worked for me - that doesn't mean it won't work for your daughter though, but be very careful with meds. Work on structure, environment and sensory changes and a support system before resorting to meds. 

Use meds as a last resort, nto a first, because if they don't work out, then what happens? you're the place you started with and have to do all the ground work anyways.... so do the ground work first, don't rely or hope meds will fix stuff, then resort to meds when the time comes that you actually need them on TOP of everything else.

As to controlling your temper, I'm not sure. I know the book I loved growing up was a book called "dance of anger" by harriet lerner. she talked about how your reactions make people react around you and I learned that from reading examples in that book, how to change my behaviors, my words, and not showing things to keep others from lashing out at me in the heat of the moment. (And, i'm far from perfect, I lose my temper sometimes.) But, for me, I back off, if I start freaking out, I say I need a few minutes to myself and when I'm thinking a little clearer, i'll come back and re-asses the situation and handle it with a calmer brain.

Generally, by the time I come back from my few minute self imposed time out, whtever upset me, I don't even care about anymore. LOL

Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

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