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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

need help/support/advice please!

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:53 PM
  • 13 Replies
Hello ladies. Im feeling exhausted and could use help. Very long story so shorten it as.much as possible. My son is 2yr. Being evaluated Feb. He's been aggressive since 9mo. His behavior was so bad that his neuro Dr at chop had him have a 2nd brain mri to check for tumor. Thank god all was normal. My son has behavioral therapy 1x a week for 2hrs...that's all i get til his diagnosis. All his specialist behaviorist and pediatrician and myself all know he's on the spectrum and has severe sensory issues. my son is oddly strong as well at 9mo his OT mouth fell open when she would see my sons physical strength. He's extremely vocal. I do sign language to help him to express himself. I sign "i want"....and he normally will tell me what he wants. His behavior is outrageous. Sometimes i can't even get him out of his crib. He pinches kicks etc. He has spit in my face. Just yesterday he threw his juice cup at my face...thankfully i backed away and it got my knee...nice bruise tho. He throws things he slaps himself pinches his own face goes after my dogs bites...you name it he does it. He slapped me and pointed to where he hit and said "u cry baby cry". I've tried everything. Time out..ignore...take toys away...I've cried and yelled and even try the calm way. I've done squeezes and brushing. His strength is so much his therapists advice d i don't attempt. He even likes to watch himself hit or.kick me in the mirror. when he is doing well I praise him up and down and sometimes i feel like he doesn't enjoy praise. He will sometimes just stop whatever it is Im.praising him for and do the exact opposite of what he was doing well in the first place. with all this said he can be the sweetest boy. Hugs kisses etc. going out just over stimulates him where he is over aggressive and just spins himself all over. Any advice ladies. Does any one experience this. Hugs to you all and thanks to all replies
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by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by Amy on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:17 PM
2 moms liked this

Welcome!  I'm so glad your son's MRI came back normal, what a relief that must have been.

I'm glad you'll be getting him evaluated.  Even if it's not autism, an evaluation should point you in the right direction for getting him the help, therapies, etc that he needs and help you as well.  (((hug)))

lucasmadre
by Kari on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:43 PM
3 moms liked this

I wish I had some good advice for you but all I can offer is hope and love. It always takes too long to figure out what is going on medically but you have an appointment for an evaluation and until then let it go as much as you can. Your son's symptoms are pretty severe and because of that they will do their best to help you figure this out. I know you are at the end of your rope, start marking off the days on the calander until your appointment...anything to help you get through this tough time. Call in reinforcements! If there is anyone who can watch him for you and give you a little break take them up on it. Do one nice thing for yourself, anything that cheers you up and keep writing for support.  xo  kari

TheJerseyGirl
by Michele on Jan. 2, 2013 at 4:32 PM
Omgosh I wish I had some great advice. My son is so well behaved so that's never been an issue. I'm hoping someone here or one of his doctors or evaluators in February can lead you in the right direction!
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philipmommy4834
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 6:34 PM

Just curious where do you live?  DId you go to Childrens hospital of Philadelphia?  That's where we go and live in southern jersey.

icn_mom
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:19 PM
2 moms liked this

My daughter is very phsically and verbally abusive. (she hits spits throws things etc) and tells me numberous times a week she doesnt like me im mean (im mean when i dont give her what she wants lol).. she randomly comes up to me and punches me.. now when she was younger it was much easier to handle now she is almost 6 and much bigger... I use the same dicipline for each aggressive action.. sorry but I will not allow the fact my dd is dx autistic to let her get away with assaulting me.. time outs, luxeries taken, sit on her bed for one minute per year of age etc... one of the best things i can tell you is always be one step ahead.. learn his triggers, times of day that are more prominent for melt downs etc... it will take a little while but its well worth it!!!!

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:09 PM

I don't have advice mom other than i know the evaluation and therapies will help.

 

It sounds like ODD to me.

charley31
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:21 PM
We got to chop all the time...every dpt we have been too...gi pulmonary neurons eye genetic etc. On the wait list for chop dev mental peds but we got a Feb appt to dupont so i took it. I went to dupont neuro before for a 3rd opinion. its not chop but they are good.


Quoting philipmommy4834:

Just curious where do you live?  DId you go to Childrens hospital of Philadelphia?  That's where we go and live in southern jersey.


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charley31
by Bronze Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Thanks to all your replies ladies. just got home from work and i got am ear full of how my son acted. He bit my inlaw on the thigh pretty bad. Hitting kicking ya know normal Ryan stuff. His tic is back apparently too. I saw him do his tic which he has had since 6mo...was very severe then looked like seizure now its very fast blinking over and over again. He was absolutely brutal this morning before i went to work as well. I made tons of calls today while i tried to work. His neuro Dr didn't get back to me nor did his behaviorist. His pediatrician said i should prob have him evaluated again for his tic. The Kid is 2...3 24hr seizure test and 2 brain mris...that's just what neuro has done. So i will call neuro again tomorrow see what he says. I am really comfortable with his neuro Dr...I've seen 3 and i do like him. Im off to bed. Thanks again to you all.
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millen01
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Hey. I can sympathize. My son started at the age of 3. The horror lasted for five years and isn't completely over. I thought I would never live through it. I am a single mother and he is the youngest of my 3 children. He has 2 sisters who are a little older than him. He has been on every medicine known to man and for one reason or another, he has to be taken off it. I can remember him taking knives and holding them to his palm threatening to cut himself, walking in the middle of a busy highway, telling me about "the man in his head that lives in a cabin telling him to do this bad stuff". My girls lived in hell. My middle child is one year old than him and he would physically torture her. I had to stay with them at all times. I can remember in order to cook dinner I had to use sheets to tie him in a chair so he wouldn't hurt himself or anyone else. He of course, would rock back and forth until he turned over in the chair. I said all that to let you know you are not alone.

People can never imagine how it is to live like you are now. You tell them and they seem sympathetic but they have no idea. I never took Ethan anywhere...I couldn't. Your baby is controlling every minute of your life. It brings a whole new meaning to unconditional love. My son was just like yours...he was the most loving, huggable, kissable boy ever when he was his "normal self". There is hope for you. Ethan now is sooo much better. Every year he got a little better. There are still times I break down and cry because he can be so mean and not like my son at all. The only thing that worked was patience. Its horrible but no medication really helped him. Most if not all ADHD or ODD medications made him 100 times worse. The meds intensified the anger and I didn't find that out until 3 years into it. He takes Risperdal at night and has for 3 years. I think that is the only medicine that has done anything for him.

Like I said, he still has times (sometimes a week or two at a time) when he seems to be the mean child I fought for years. He recalls some, but very little of the horrible times. He apologizes for what he does remember but its not their fault. Your child is not in control of what he's doing. Its not out of hate or malicious intent that he has this behavior. My heart goes out to you. I could write you a book trying to help you but the biggest advice.....don't let his behavior go unpunished (but pick the biggest things to punish) and let the smaller things go otherwise he would stay in trouble, don't listen to people who are idiots and say "he just needs a good butt whipping", praise him but not too much...only for things really well done, hug him and show him love even if you feel like walking out the door, pray every morning when you get up and every night when you go to sleep for God to give you the strength to endure..you will need it. The older he gets the more he will understand when he breaks your heart and all that you've taught him will shine through. My son now cries and tells me I am his hero and he would die without me...yours will tell you that one day too.

Bluerose1482
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

My son hit and threw things as a toddler as well.  It wasn't as bad as what you are describing.  First, there is probably nothing that you will do to stop this anytime soon.  So, you need to come up with a plan for dealing with it.  A standard reaction... 

1. Use pictures to make a poster that illustrates the rule "No hitting people or animals".  Divide it into thirds.  The top 1/3 shows the rule.  The middle third shows the consequence.  The bottom third shows something else he could have done instead of hitting people or animals.  That is sort of tricky, but the idea is to give him a few ideas for things that could satisfy *why* he hit--and there are probably multiple reasons.  He probably hits sometimes because he's bored and it is a thing he can do that gets a reaction.  He probably hits sometimes because he wants to interact with people and that's the first thing he thinks of, and sometimes he's communicating that he's angry or frustrated.  Try to include a couple of things that would satisfy each reason.

Make the consequence something that you do, not something that you have to make him do.  Example, I would probably take a toy for an hour.  However, he'd have to go an hour without hitting to get it back. 

Repeat for thowing, but use a different consequence--for my son I probably would have taken a toy train for hitting and a toy car for throwing.

You can also try making a feeling poster.  It is basically a sign that shows you how he's feeling.  My son liked using one of those when he was a toddler.  Looking back, I don't think he realized that I knew when he was angry/frustrated probably because he had no idea what other people were feeling.  Using his feeling board could be one of his 'alternatives'. 

Quoting charley31:

Hello ladies. Im feeling exhausted and could use help. Very long story so shorten it as.much as possible. My son is 2yr. Being evaluated Feb. He's been aggressive since 9mo. His behavior was so bad that his neuro Dr at chop had him have a 2nd brain mri to check for tumor. Thank god all was normal. My son has behavioral therapy 1x a week for 2hrs...that's all i get til his diagnosis. All his specialist behaviorist and pediatrician and myself all know he's on the spectrum and has severe sensory issues. my son is oddly strong as well at 9mo his OT mouth fell open when she would see my sons physical strength. He's extremely vocal. I do sign language to help him to express himself. I sign "i want"....and he normally will tell me what he wants. His behavior is outrageous. Sometimes i can't even get him out of his crib. He pinches kicks etc. He has spit in my face. Just yesterday he threw his juice cup at my face...thankfully i backed away and it got my knee...nice bruise tho. He throws things he slaps himself pinches his own face goes after my dogs bites...you name it he does it. He slapped me and pointed to where he hit and said "u cry baby cry". I've tried everything. Time out..ignore...take toys away...I've cried and yelled and even try the calm way. I've done squeezes and brushing. His strength is so much his therapists advice d i don't attempt. He even likes to watch himself hit or.kick me in the mirror. when he is doing well I praise him up and down and sometimes i feel like he doesn't enjoy praise. He will sometimes just stop whatever it is Im.praising him for and do the exact opposite of what he was doing well in the first place. with all this said he can be the sweetest boy. Hugs kisses etc. going out just over stimulates him where he is over aggressive and just spins himself all over. Any advice ladies. Does any one experience this. Hugs to you all and thanks to all replies


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