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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Did you fear having another baby after your first child was diagnosed?

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:05 PM
  • 16 Replies

I'm not pregnant and we aren't trying to be, but I always told him that if I end up pregnant we will raise it, and we all know that BC doesn't always work.

Anyways his son was diagnosed classic autism when he was 22 months old and is nearly 4 years old now, he is the only child in the house (I've never been pregnant, just stepmom) and it scares us both if it ever happens because of all the pain and struggle we've gone through for him.

Well I just wanted to know how you ladies felt about it before you had #2+.

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lwalker270
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:07 PM

My son wasn't diagnosed when I had my second, but we knew he was not a "typical" child.  Our second son was very laid back and easy, but I'll be honest, we were a little anxious.

kjlmommy
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:20 PM

I learned about our son's delays the same week we found out we were expecting our third child.  Our new baby is now 4 weeks old, and being honest, I'm pretty worried.  So far, he's doing everything he is supposed to be doing, but that doesn't mean a whole lot at 4 weeks.  So we are waiting and watching carefully.  We're really happy though, and even if our third child does turn out to be autistic, we think it will ultimately be ok.

VioletsMomTown
by Robyn on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:46 PM

I considered having another, but knowing that my daughter has autism makes me worry that another would too (as is often the case). Even considered adoption, but I have to dedicate so much time to her, I would have a hard time giving them equal amounts of my time. I don't think it would be fair.  Therefore, we are not having any more.

KatyTylersMom
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:34 PM

My daughter, 4, was diagnosed after my son, 2.5.  Had we known I think we'd still have had another child b/c my daughter is very high functioning.  But now that we know we have 2 kids with PDD-NOS we are VERY leery of having another child mostly b/c we simply cannot afford all the therapies 3 times over.  Our kids are great, sweet, happy, and hilarious together.  Definitely not what I was expecting in siblings AT ALL given that I distinctly remember a strong urge to strangle my own younger brother:)  But the thought of paying for more ABA, more speech, more lawyers for school fights, etc. is just really daunting.  And the thought of having a MORE severely affected child is also quite scary. 

CofferLuver1617
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:20 AM

my son was diagnosed at 3 and is now 4 I had another boy two years ago & drs are saying autism I am terrified cause he is non verbal & has many other developmental delays I don't plan on having anymore children just for that fact I can't handle  child with autism I wish you the best  

deadlights86
by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:26 AM
I won't have anymore kids I have 1 with down syndrome and 2 on the spectrum. I don't need another special needs kid.
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Lovingmyks
by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:33 AM
My son is 2 with autism and I have a 1 year old daughter without. Somedays are harder then others but I wouldn't have it any other way.
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marcie1455
by Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:38 AM

I was pregnant with my 3rd child when I found out my son who was two years old was dx with PDD-NOS.  During my 6th month of pregnancy I lost the child I was carrying due to trisomy-13 (a genetic disorder).  It was a very depressing period.  I personally decided no more children.  I felt like I lost my son, G.J. and my unborn daughter Shinnah in the same month.  Even though it's been two years...my heart is still broken.  

heatherh610
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 4:29 AM
I knew my first child was different when I got preggo with my 2nd...had a diagnosis for my 1st before I was preggo with my 3rd, & had a spectrum diagnosis for my 1st and 3rd before we began ttc my 4th. I was concerned about having a child with the same diagnosis with a lower functioning level, but not nec of having another on the Spectrum...but then both of mine on the Spectrum are considered to be "high functioning" (whatever that means!). To me, every child has a difference of some sort and all of my kids have amazing gifts that I would never want to go through life without that! Ultimately, I could never fear adding more of that in my life...or in their lives.

For the record...
DS1 Aspergers/Autism Spectrum with intermittent explosive personality disorder, generalized anxiety, ocd, & adhd
DD1 neurotypical
DD2 PPD-NOS/Autism Spectrum with sensory integration disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, & a seizure disorder
DS2 seems neurotypical so far...but to be fair, he is only 15weeks and 4days!
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tictacmama
by Arlea on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:42 AM

 I was pregnant with #3 when my son was diagnosed (first were twins). I probably would not have had more children if he had been diagnosed before the pregnancy but now I am so glad we did. My third is such a blessing, and I am realising that siblings help our ASD children discover the social world without negative consequence (ie. your brother will not stop being your friend if you break his toy but he will be upset). We will try one more time for a girl but I think four (or five if twins) is enough for us.

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