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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Almost gave up.....

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:58 PM
  • 6 Replies
7 moms liked this

When my oldest son was 3 we were very focused on his fine motor skills. The OT evaluation suggested that he was at a 12 month old skill level. Severely delayed in this area. :( He could not even color on his own. For a whole year I sat down with him everyday and we practiced just coloring. We used a hand over hand technique that the OT recommended . I would literally hold his hand and help him color pages in a book for many hours. No matter how much I tried I could not get him to color by himself. After a full year of this , when I was pretty much ready to give up... one day he picked up a crayon on his own and just started coloring. The amazing part was that it was really good coloring .....in the lines ,ect. After he started using the crayons on his own it was all down hill from there. He started spending a lot of time coloring, then drawing pictures, and eventually writing letters. He just turned five and he has exceptional fine motor skills for his age.

I just wanted to let all of those mothers out there know . Even if your child is struggling on something and you start to feel like it is hopeless , Just remember you never know where they will be in a year from now, or two, or three ,or however long it takes. Our children are amazing and will surprise us our whole lives. All of those little things that they accomplish add up to something huge within them.

Please feel free to share on this post. :)

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:58 PM
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Replies (1-6):
bugsmama149
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:16 PM
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Since Kindergarten age my 11 yr old son would just struggle with new things being taught to him in school. Mostly math. He would just struggle and struggle and then one day it was like the "lightbulb" went on over his head. Metaphorically it was like he was an airplane trying to take off but just couldn't. And then all at once, he'd take off and soar. For him it's like he convinces himself that he just can't do it. And when he finally has that first victory, his confidence level goes through the roof! I love it!  I homeschool him now (just started 5 months ago, 6th grade) and I love to be there to give him the encouragement he needs and the cheers and high fives when he realizes he's really learning that "impossible" subject. I don't know if low self confidence is a common thread between our children but I refuse to let my son think he can't learn. Because he certainly can!  (and he's awful cute). :)

lucasmadre
by Kari on Jan. 2, 2013 at 11:31 AM
2 moms liked this

You are so right and so great to remind us all of this.

I truly believe each and every one of us has our own path that we travel on at our own speed. Sometimes they just need time to get there and then all of a sudden...boom! The switch turns on.

My 8 year old has had a terrible time reading, all of a sudden...he can read like a champ. It just took him a little while.

I wonder why we have decided to compare kids progress so much in this culture rather than focusing on the individual? What a lot of pressure it would take off our kids if they could just go at their own rate of speed...

Thanks for the important perspective!!  xo

Bluerose1482
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:30 PM
1 mom liked this

So glad you shared this. 

Not to hijack your thread, but with my son this was often the case we worked on something for what seemed like FOREVER with no progress and then BAM he'd suddenly take three steps forward.   

lyricsnlaughter
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 6:44 PM


Quoting bugsmama149:

Since Kindergarten age my 11 yr old son would just struggle with new things being taught to him in school. Mostly math. He would just struggle and struggle and then one day it was like the "lightbulb" went on over his head. Metaphorically it was like he was an airplane trying to take off but just couldn't. And then all at once, he'd take off and soar. For him it's like he convinces himself that he just can't do it. And when he finally has that first victory, his confidence level goes through the roof! I love it!  I homeschool him now (just started 5 months ago, 6th grade) and I love to be there to give him the encouragement he needs and the cheers and high fives when he realizes he's really learning that "impossible" subject. I don't know if low self confidence is a common thread between our children but I refuse to let my son think he can't learn. Because he certainly can!  (and he's awful cute). :)

Brady is the exact same way...afraid to try something I suspect because he's afraid of failing. Breaks my heart.


bugsmama149
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:29 PM

Yep, that's exactly what it is. They hate to fail. It's like they've struggled so much in their lives that they just get in into their heads that they "can't do it". They just need that 1st victory. I love those moments.

Quoting lyricsnlaughter:


Quoting bugsmama149:

Since Kindergarten age my 11 yr old son would just struggle with new things being taught to him in school. Mostly math. He would just struggle and struggle and then one day it was like the "lightbulb" went on over his head. Metaphorically it was like he was an airplane trying to take off but just couldn't. And then all at once, he'd take off and soar. For him it's like he convinces himself that he just can't do it. And when he finally has that first victory, his confidence level goes through the roof! I love it!  I homeschool him now (just started 5 months ago, 6th grade) and I love to be there to give him the encouragement he needs and the cheers and high fives when he realizes he's really learning that "impossible" subject. I don't know if low self confidence is a common thread between our children but I refuse to let my son think he can't learn. Because he certainly can!  (and he's awful cute). :)

Brady is the exact same way...afraid to try something I suspect because he's afraid of failing. Breaks my heart.



bugsmama149
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 8:39 PM

That's probably my favorite aspect of homeschooling. I can see Ryan's progress and keep the work going at the level he is at. In 5th grade when he was still in public school, he was having an awful time learning multiple digit multiplication. He just struggled so bad with it. And before he was able to get comfortable and be able to do even 2 problems correctly on his own, they moved him on to division. Needless to say, he was totally lost. I felt so bad for him. We started homeschooling last August and today, multi digit multiplication and long division are a breeze for him. We were able to spend alot of time of these concepts. I have to say, it was fun and made me feel so good to see him learn these things that he was so convinced he couldn't. Also, please Mom's don't take this post as if I'm bashing public school. I'm not at all. It just wasn't a good fit for my child. I think public school can be the right choice for many kids, it just wasn't for mine! Just didn't want anyone to feel as if I were being judgemental of p.s.  Also, lucasmadre, very good point you made about comparing kids as one group in a culture instead of focusing on individual successes. Children can be similar in many ways, but no 2 are alike. They are all going to learn in their own way. It is just the way of our society to expect every child to learn "the right way" instead of their "own individual way". My child needs to be able to learn in the way that is the most comfortable for him, not what is expected of him from society as a whole.

Quoting lucasmadre:

You are so right and so great to remind us all of this.

I truly believe each and every one of us has our own path that we travel on at our own speed. Sometimes they just need time to get there and then all of a sudden...boom! The switch turns on.

My 8 year old has had a terrible time reading, all of a sudden...he can read like a champ. It just took him a little while.

I wonder why we have decided to compare kids progress so much in this culture rather than focusing on the individual? What a lot of pressure it would take off our kids if they could just go at their own rate of speed...

Thanks for the important perspective!!  xo


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