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Not preparing for testing. **update on how it went**

Posted by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:08 AM
  • 21 Replies

My daughter has a bunch of educational tests tomorrow. Normally we prepare for a week before a test. Any test. Any change in routine is prepared for. The man administering the test has asked me not to prepare dd for this. Not to explain the huge change in routine, he wants to see her unprepared and not expecting anything so he can get a "real" understanding of her behavior and issues. I'm pretty nervous, she knows a little because we have to leave tonight to get to the city we are testing in and are stating in a hotel, but tomorrow...... I'm scared for tomorrow. I know it's good to get this set of testing done and over with, but I'm nervous and scared of how she will react. Especially when they ask me to leave..... .just had to get these emotions out and here's a safe place.

update is reply 8

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:51 AM

 i hear ya , let us know how things went , ok

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 10:58 AM

My 11 year old is getting retested for speech on Monday.  I swear Ive been through so many of these Ill probably fall asleep!  
Dont worry for her cause shell react to your nervousness.  
Besides, this is hpw I feel - if they work my kid up then they can deal with their bahavior and sometimes its fun to watch a 'professional' deal with your child - they think they know what to do but they dont! It puts them in their place!
Good Luck and itll be ok! 

by Amy on Jan. 7, 2013 at 2:28 PM

Good luck!  It's good that he'll see that side of her and should help in getting her the treatments that she needs.

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:12 PM
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I totally agree, going through testing is stressful on us and our kids. I hate having to say out loud or write on paper all of the shortcomings of my daughter, when all I want to do is talk about how amazing she is. It always kind of gets me down, and anxious. Try to keep an attitude that "it is what it is" and not stress, because I'm sure your daughter is the same, they can feel our energy and know when we are upset. It will all work out fine. Good luck!

by Arlea on Jan. 8, 2013 at 10:15 AM

 You'll get through it but I understand. When we first started to get our son tested and people would ask us question on his behavior I always wanted to explain away his missing milestones. Even at the doctors office I would try to find instances were he had done what was expected of him at his age. I think I felt like a failure for not teaching him to tell me he was hungry or wanted a drink instead of just giving him a balance diet.

Try to look at the positve, he might be able to find strategies and coping mechanisms you haven't thought of for transitions.That doesn't mean you've failed. It just means none of us have all the answers.


Good Luck! :)

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:19 PM

How did it go today?

by Kari on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:58 PM

It is scary to put our babies into someone elses hands but just remember that regardless of what these test results are you know her better than anyone else. You know her strengths and weaknesses and can do more for her than anyone. This is just one perspective. Breath deep and trust that this will be OK. My boy was just tested and the diagnosis upset me for weeks, then I looked down at him at dinner one night and realized he is the same lovely different.

Maybe after the testing the two of you should do something really special together like go for giant ice cream sundaes!  Good luck and let us know how it goes.  xo

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:56 AM

It didnt go so well yesterday. I had to hand my darter over to the tester guy which is hard, cause she doesn't really like men, nor does she trust skinny people. I know odd, but it's her. He was both skinny and male. I got to watch and listen from outside the room for part of it. He was just completely emotionless. Wouldn't look at her only read his tests, pushed to the point of melt down and her being very upset. After one test was done And she curled up in the corner I was asked to come in. I was told I could sit by her and hold her hand but that was it. No talking to her, no comforting her, nothing. So we struggled through 6 hours of testing. I took her to her favorite place to eat lunch and she wouldn't eat, she was so upset and nervous about the "right" answers that she had diarrhea all day and night. After it was all over and she just curled in my lap and cried. When we got home she locked herself in her room and went to her safe place. 

During the testing my mom showed up and watched through the observation room. I told her she could but didnt know if she had until after we had gotten home and she called. She was furious. Said the guy obviously wasn't caring and didnt want to be there. That she has watched and helped give these tests and he yes gave the tests, but did nothing to help my daughter through them. I asked if that was normal and she said no, he did minimal tests that he could. He never looked at her, and he didnt even try to get her to do things. 

The guy afterwards only told me, that I needed parenting classes to learn how to control my daughters out of control behavior, and that what the doctor said was true. Didnt mention what the tests showed, didn't tell me anything, then he left. I'm so disappointed and upset about all of this. We missed a day of school which is a huge deal for her to catch up on, she got pushed around and was miserable all for some guy to tell me the doctor was right. 

by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:07 AM

I think that people who work with children should have better manners than that. Children are taught not to trust strangers and he was making it even harder on her. I hate the idea that your dd got sick from that. He sounds like he needs to look for another profession. One that doesn't involve children at all. I am sure that I would not have done good on a test given by him. Hope she gets to feeling better soon.

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 2:16 PM
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Wow, What a jerk!  I can't believe that he would be allowed to work with kids who have trust issues.  I hope that you report his behavior.  She should be let go or at least placed in an office only, paper pushing capacity.  So sorry you and she had to go through it.

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