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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Daycare as respite?

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:19 PM
  • 4 Replies

Has anyone put their child in daycare just to get a break? 

I'm considering doing this. My husband see's that I'm starting to go a little crazy here so he offered to work overtime in order to pay for an inclusive daycare that one of my sons therapists (that comes to the house) works for. 

I'm really struggling with this though. For one, I would feel like I failed or gave up. It's very expensive, and I'm having a difficult time justifying spending the money on it. On the other hand, it's literally the only place that I have found that I feel comfortable with. Also, I feel like I need to be home actively helping my child. But, when I am home, all I do is struggle to survive the day. I don't feel like I'm actually capable of helping him much at all in this poor emotional state that I'm in. 

I guess after I start to feel better, I might get a part time job or something. But I know that I'm just going to feel like I've abandoned him, and that I'm not doing all that I can do to help him. But again, when I'm with him, I can't really handle much besides his basic care. 

Anyway, I'm feeling very conflicted. I always feel like I'm choosing between "bad and worse". 

Has anyone else decided to put their child in daycare? What was the emotional aspect of this experience like for you? Is it proving to be a good decision? 

Thank you so much. 

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:19 PM
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Replies (1-4):
lady_katie
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:42 PM

This would be 5 or 6 hours per day, by the way. 

VioletsMomTown
by Robyn on Jan. 8, 2013 at 6:58 PM

No no, don't feel bad! It sounds like a great idea. Its good for them, seriously. I personally had a tough time with this too, and for us it didn't work out in the long run. This was before her diagnosis. My daughter was not ready for daycare at that time, and it was a busy busy place. I tried for 6 months and gave up on that place.  A year later though she's in junior kindergarten and loving it. The sooner they get around other kids the better. Its good social practice. I might suggest working your way up to the 6 hours though, like one month do 2 hours, the next do 3, the next 4 and so on... you know what I mean? Its always easier to ease them into change. My daughter has been in school for 4 months and she's just this month now starting to go almost full days. Baby steps.

Violet's Mom

Twitter @autismnotebook

JTMOM422
by Brenda on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:57 PM

 I turned down respite due to the fact my son is non verbal. I wasn't comfortable leaving him with just anyone. Also they wanted a set schedule of hours for respite for like 2 weeks at a time. I guess so the person would have so many hours a week or month. I wasn't into that idea at all. I didn't want to feel responsible for someone getting hours. I would worry about them not getting enough and it being my fault.  I am lucky my sister volunteers to take my kids to give me a break.

Daycare I am not really sure of. I have always been a stay at home mom. I would like to put them in part time but it is so expensive. I can see putting them in daycare for a few hours a week. I think the social interactions would do both my kids great. The only social interactions that they get is the library, park (too cold right now) and their cousins.

If you need the break then respite or daycare may be the best option. Don't feel guilty about it. You are human. We all need the rest.

lady_katie
by Silver Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:50 AM

Thank you so much for the responses! I'm going to take Violet's moms advice and start with very very part time daycare next week and see how that goes. See if my son is OK with it, see how I'm handling it, and if it's improving our family situation. 

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