Hey guys, I've made a few posts here in the past but not much recently. I am the aunt (pseudo mom) of a 9 yo boy who was diagnosed with Aspergers. I am here now because I am completely at a loss and am at the end of my rope. Bugga used to be the sweetest, happiest kid, but lately he has gotten so angry and defiant. We worked with a local group of trained therapists last year and they taught him coping skills and social interactions and everything. He seemed to be doing okay and they decided he was ready to "graduate" from the program.
He has been seriously back sliding. His current obsession is with video games, particularly Plants vs. Zombies and anything Mario. Given the choice, he would spend every minute of every day playing video games. That's why we regulate his time. He gets one hour a day (2 on weekends) but he has the opportunity to gain or lose minutes based on behaviour. It worked at first but it doesn't seem to anymore. Right now he has locked himself in the bathroom. He threw his homework and everything (place mats, newspapers, nothing breakable or damaging) all over the dining room, slammed his door, hit the wall repeatedly even after I warned him not to, and kept yelling that I was "trying to ruin his life" and that he didn't want to live here anymore.
This all came about because I told him he had to do his chores before he would be allowed to play video games (a rule that we always have and that he has agreed to). I am at a loss. I've tried being patient, I've tried reasoning with him, I've tried consequencing, I've even tried yelling and cursing and threatening, He won't listen. He is incredibly defiant and angry and I have no idea what to do with him. I'm even getting to the point where I'm considering spanking him (even though I usually am against that) but he's too big and I'm afraid it would turn into a struggle and someone might get hurt and that would absolutely kill me.
Is anyone else dealing with this? Is it a symptom of aspergers? Or is it something more like oppositional defiance disorder? I'm seriously sitting here crying because I feel so helpless and impotent.