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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Hey guys, I've made a few posts here in the past but not much recently. I am the aunt (pseudo mom) of a 9 yo boy who was diagnosed with Aspergers. I am here now because I am completely at a loss and am at the end of my rope. Bugga used to be the sweetest, happiest kid, but lately he has gotten so angry and defiant. We worked with a local group of trained therapists last year and they taught him coping skills and social interactions and everything. He seemed to be doing okay and they decided he was ready to "graduate" from the program.

He has been seriously back sliding. His current obsession is with video games, particularly Plants vs. Zombies and anything Mario. Given the choice, he would spend every minute of every day playing video games. That's why we regulate his time. He gets one hour a day (2 on weekends) but he has the opportunity to gain or lose minutes based on behaviour. It worked at first but it doesn't seem to anymore. Right now he has locked himself in the bathroom. He threw his homework and everything (place mats, newspapers, nothing breakable or damaging) all over the dining room, slammed his door, hit the wall repeatedly even after I warned him not to, and kept yelling that I was "trying to ruin his life" and that he didn't want to live here anymore. 

This all came about because I told him he had to do his chores before he would be allowed to play video games (a rule that we always have and that he has agreed to). I am at a loss. I've tried being patient, I've tried reasoning with him, I've tried consequencing, I've even tried yelling and cursing and threatening, He won't listen. He is incredibly defiant and angry and I have no idea what to do with him. I'm even getting to the point where I'm considering spanking him (even though I usually am against that) but he's too big and I'm afraid it would turn into a struggle and someone might get hurt and that would absolutely kill me. 

Is anyone else dealing with this? Is it a symptom of aspergers? Or is it something more like oppositional defiance disorder? I'm seriously sitting here crying because I feel so helpless and impotent. 

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Replies (11-20):
janejones1983
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:01 AM

My 9 year old ??? acts like this after he has eaten gluten. If your 9 year old is not gluten/milk/soy free, you could still give this a try. Otherwise, he is probably loaded with yeast. Look up natural yeast controls. Unfortunately, to get my son to do his homework, we give he small amounts of money. He is highly responsive to this (a quarter makes him happy-after he earns 4, we exchange it for a dollar. He also has chores). We've never allowed video games. Hope this helps. Bless your heart for helping him.

kajira
by Emma on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:54 AM
3 moms liked this

As an autistic adult, video game were the only outlet that allowed me to survive my childhood in peace.  I might suggest letting him have more than an hour or so for good behavior. I know limiting it makes sense for a normal kid - but an hour a day especially if you use it to relax or destress is torture all in it's own.

I agree with the advise most other ladies said, but as an adult, most o my free time is spent playing video games or reading/writing. If gaming is something important to him, limiting it that much isn't fair to him. I know it makes sense from the outside, but inside.... it may be time to reconsider some of your battles.

Talk to him about how important this game is to him, then maybe consider letting him have more time on it for getting things done.

Also - what YOU can do in a day isn't always what someone can do with autism, going to school is so draining and fries your brain for an autistic kid... picture going to work at a hard construction job for 12 hours straight, and wanting to just come home and try to get your brain and body to catch up and just sit and relax... and that's what going to school would be like.

He needs that down time, it will be essential to his brain functioning. It's okay to give him video games to relax and recover from school.

What I would do is let him have an hour when he comes home from school - show him you understand... then after he's had that hour, then ask that he do homework, chores, dinner, etc... and he can earn another hour or two.

Give him more choices on what he does with his freetime... and if it's games... that's okay. 

As someone who had a similar childhood - grandparents raised me, mom was a drug addict, autistic, etc... games were my saving grace, and is still my outlet as an adult, and as I got older, video games were my connection to other people. That's what I talk about and what I have in common enough to talk to people.

I had friends because of the games I played... but had I not been given enough freetime to play and be *good* at the games I played, I would haven't had the experiences I did. I got to travel and compete in video game competitions for first person shooters and won money and got paid to compete in lan tournaments.

Sometimes gaming can be a hobby that can do a lot of good.... I didn't like to watch tv - I watch movies and play wow on my laptop while watching the movie, that kind of stuff. I like to fish in game, I like the reptition of games, they can be social, or anti social, so I can do my own thing mindlessly, or I can be social in game if I choose.

There's a lot of things you can do with games.... I also use my games as an adult to reward myself for getting house work and other chores, and I do tend to retreat more into my games when I'm stressed. It's a nice outlet....and helps me relax which allows me to be more functional in other areas of my life.

The reason I'm sharing is I just wanted to give you a perspective from someone who's been "that" kid.

VioletsMomTown
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:13 AM
2 moms liked this

I totally agree. Its not just a time waster, there is a lot that can be learned from video games! Its a skill. Violet has her iPad time, and then she's relaxed and ready to take on other things in the day. Its been good for her. She will draw, do puzzles, make music and learn letters and numbers, and she isn't as interested or as confident doing those things without it. Its just as valid that she's learning them on a computer, everything is done on the computers these days.

Quoting kajira:

As an autistic adult, video game were the only outlet that allowed me to survive my childhood in peace.  I might suggest letting him have more than an hour or so for good behavior. I know limiting it makes sense for a normal kid - but an hour a day especially if you use it to relax or destress is torture all in it's own.

I agree with the advise most other ladies said, but as an adult, most o my free time is spent playing video games or reading/writing. If gaming is something important to him, limiting it that much isn't fair to him. I know it makes sense from the outside, but inside.... it may be time to reconsider some of your battles.

Talk to him about how important this game is to him, then maybe consider letting him have more time on it for getting things done.

Also - what YOU can do in a day isn't always what someone can do with autism, going to school is so draining and fries your brain for an autistic kid... picture going to work at a hard construction job for 12 hours straight, and wanting to just come home and try to get your brain and body to catch up and just sit and relax... and that's what going to school would be like.

He needs that down time, it will be essential to his brain functioning. It's okay to give him video games to relax and recover from school.

What I would do is let him have an hour when he comes home from school - show him you understand... then after he's had that hour, then ask that he do homework, chores, dinner, etc... and he can earn another hour or two.

Give him more choices on what he does with his freetime... and if it's games... that's okay. 

As someone who had a similar childhood - grandparents raised me, mom was a drug addict, autistic, etc... games were my saving grace, and is still my outlet as an adult, and as I got older, video games were my connection to other people. That's what I talk about and what I have in common enough to talk to people.

I had friends because of the games I played... but had I not been given enough freetime to play and be *good* at the games I played, I would haven't had the experiences I did. I got to travel and compete in video game competitions for first person shooters and won money and got paid to compete in lan tournaments.

Sometimes gaming can be a hobby that can do a lot of good.... I didn't like to watch tv - I watch movies and play wow on my laptop while watching the movie, that kind of stuff. I like to fish in game, I like the reptition of games, they can be social, or anti social, so I can do my own thing mindlessly, or I can be social in game if I choose.

There's a lot of things you can do with games.... I also use my games as an adult to reward myself for getting house work and other chores, and I do tend to retreat more into my games when I'm stressed. It's a nice outlet....and helps me relax which allows me to be more functional in other areas of my life.

The reason I'm sharing is I just wanted to give you a perspective from someone who's been "that" kid.


AspieAuntie
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you all so much for your input. I agree, I think I will talk to my parents about allowing Bugga more video game time after school. I'm also considering pulling him out of GATE class (I'll have to talk to him about it, but I think it may be too overwhelming for him even though he is a really smart kid) and stopping his trumpet lessons (again, too many activities). That way his only extracurricular activities would be karate (he needs the excercise and he's getting pretty good at it) and 15 minutes with the Paws For Reading program at our local library (he isn't a strong reader so this gives him a chance to read and cuddle with dogs at the same time).

I think part of the "problem" is that he is so high functioning that it is sometimes hard to remember that he has Aspergers. He doesn't qualify for any of the autism support programs in our area because of this. But I KNOW that he has it, his struggles and reactions to stimuli are way too similar to all the other stories on here, even if it isn't "bad enough" for services. Anyway thank you so much, Kajira, it always helps to get advice from people who have lived through his side of things. :)

kajira
by Emma on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:50 AM

wow, he does a lot - no wonder he's having a hard time.

A lot of people think that kids need all this "stuff" constantly, and that's the one thing I promised myself as a parent is I wouldn't make my kids be so "busy" if they weren't wired to want it that way.

I think people think kids need to be kept busy constantly and one of the highlights of my life as a kid was just coming home and doing nothing for a few hours. School was more then enough for me, add in all the extra stuff and it was just too much.

Some kids don't find school stressful, some people don't find work stressful, but for the kids/people who do, it's a similar concept, you need to reward yourself for doing well.

Unlike a job where you make money and that's the reward, school isn't rewarding for most people, so the reward needs to come after it, and from home... getting paid in video game time for going to school and what not is a good way to be paid... If a kid LIKES all the hobbies and activities, they are a different kind of a kid than someone who gets overstimulated and needs downtime after stimulation.

School is one of the most stimulating places and to be there for 5-8 hours a day for most of the week is pretty hardcore.

noises, the sounds, the chattering, the smells, trying to learn in that environment is really hard. So to come home and not get a break would make me want to run away from home or hurt people who didn't understand enough to just leave me alone for a couple of hours while my brain had time to decompress... and yes it literally takes a couple of hours after that much stimulation. As an adult, I still can't do that environment. Going around stuff with that much stimulation is really hard on me, and it's not an anxiety response, it just makes my head hurt - I get migraines from that much sensory input. So, if sensory stuff building up manifests in a pain response, it would make him probably lash out if he can't explain it logically to you or others...and people don't realize that sensory stuff is "real" that way.

Does he have a pet? if he likes animals, maybe having a pet would be helpful


Quoting AspieAuntie:


Thank you all so much for your input. I agree, I think I will talk to my parents about allowing Bugga more video game time after school. I'm also considering pulling him out of GATE class (I'll have to talk to him about it, but I think it may be too overwhelming for him even though he is a really smart kid) and stopping his trumpet lessons (again, too many activities). That way his only extracurngricular activities would be karate (he needs the excercise and he's getting pretty good at it) and 15 minutes with the Paws For Reading program at our local library (he isn't a strong reader so this gives him a chance to read and cuddle with dogs at the same time).

I think part of the "problem" is that he is so high functioning that it is sometimes hard to remember that he has Aspergers. He doesn't qualify for any of the autism support programs in our area because of this. But I KNOW that he has it, his struggles and reactions to stimuli are way too similar to all the other stories on here, even if it isn't "bad enough" for services. Anyway thank you so much, Kajira, it always helps to get advice from people who have lived through his side of things. :)


Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

AspieAuntie
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Yes we have a cat and she is just perfect for him. She is very mellow, not at all agressive, and she allows him to invade her space in a way that would infuriate most cats. We try to teach him to give her just a little more room (we're afraid if he gets used to smothering cats then he will encounter a cat who refuses to be crowded and scratch him) but over all we let her tell him when she's had enough (she just gets up and walks away).

I've come up with a tentative plan that I'd like to run by you and the other mom's. I'm planning on giving him these options and allowing him to rearrange them to fit his needs but this is the basic schedule I have in mind:

1 hour of video game time after school

Homework time with one minigame break where ever he thinks he needs it

And after he's done his chores (homework, reading, and showering) he can have another half hour (maybe a full hour depending on time?) of video games as a reward for finishing everything with a good attitude.

All of this would be with the stipulation that video games must be turned off by 8 pm so that we can read a book or watch TV as a family before bed. Does that sound reasonable?

Quoting kajira:

wow, he does a lot - no wonder he's having a hard time.

A lot of people think that kids need all this "stuff" constantly, and that's the one thing I promised myself as a parent is I wouldn't make my kids be so "busy" if they weren't wired to want it that way.

I think people think kids need to be kept busy constantly and one of the highlights of my life as a kid was just coming home and doing nothing for a few hours. School was more then enough for me, add in all the extra stuff and it was just too much.

Some kids don't find school stressful, some people don't find work stressful, but for the kids/people who do, it's a similar concept, you need to reward yourself for doing well.

Unlike a job where you make money and that's the reward, school isn't rewarding for most people, so the reward needs to come after it, and from home... getting paid in video game time for going to school and what not is a good way to be paid... If a kid LIKES all the hobbies and activities, they are a different kind of a kid than someone who gets overstimulated and needs downtime after stimulation.

School is one of the most stimulating places and to be there for 5-8 hours a day for most of the week is pretty hardcore.

noises, the sounds, the chattering, the smells, trying to learn in that environment is really hard. So to come home and not get a break would make me want to run away from home or hurt people who didn't understand enough to just leave me alone for a couple of hours while my brain had time to decompress... and yes it literally takes a couple of hours after that much stimulation. As an adult, I still can't do that environment. Going around stuff with that much stimulation is really hard on me, and it's not an anxiety response, it just makes my head hurt - I get migraines from that much sensory input. So, if sensory stuff building up manifests in a pain response, it would make him probably lash out if he can't explain it logically to you or others...and people don't realize that sensory stuff is "real" that way.

Does he have a pet? if he likes animals, maybe having a pet would be helpful




kajira
by Emma on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I would almost suggest doing family time earlier before bed.... maybe if you do dinner as a family, count that as family time and practice conversations at the tableand hang out.

Let him have some say in his schedule, if he doesn't want to watch tv, give him the option to do something he wants to do... i know that having scheduled, family sit down time together is nice, but I find TV overstimulating, I dislike watching TV it drives me insane and I'll fidget and stim if I have to just sit there watching it.

I used to read a book while the TV was on to tune out the TV because it hurts my brain... so make sure watching TV is something he wants to do or it might not be relaxing like it is for you. LOL

Quoting AspieAuntie:

Yes we have a cat and she is just perfect for him. She is very mellow, not at all agressive, and she allows him to invade her space in a way that would infuriate most cats. We try to teach him to give her just a little more room (we're afraid if he gets used to smothering cats then he will encounter a cat who refuses to be crowded and scratch him) but over all we let her tell him when she's had enough (she just gets up and walks away).

I've come up with a tentative plan that I'd like to run by you and the other mom's. I'm planning on giving him these options and allowing him to rearrange them to fit his needs but this is the basic schedule I have in mind:

1 hour of video game time after school

Homework time with one minigame break where ever he thinks he needs it

And after he's done his chores (homework, reading, and showering) he can have another half hour (maybe a full hour depending on time?) of video games as a reward for finishing everything with a good attitude.

All of this would be with the stipulation that video games must be turned off by 8 pm so that we can read a book or watch TV as a family before bed. Does that sound reasonable?

Quoting kajira:

wow, he does a lot - no wonder he's having a hard time.

A lot of people think that kids need all this "stuff" constantly, and that's the one thing I promised myself as a parent is I wouldn't make my kids be so "busy" if they weren't wired to want it that way.

I think people think kids need to be kept busy constantly and one of the highlights of my life as a kid was just coming home and doing nothing for a few hours. School was more then enough for me, add in all the extra stuff and it was just too much.

Some kids don't find school stressful, some people don't find work stressful, but for the kids/people who do, it's a similar concept, you need to reward yourself for doing well.

Unlike a job where you make money and that's the reward, school isn't rewarding for most people, so the reward needs to come after it, and from home... getting paid in video game time for going to school and what not is a good way to be paid... If a kid LIKES all the hobbies and activities, they are a different kind of a kid than someone who gets overstimulated and needs downtime after stimulation.

School is one of the most stimulating places and to be there for 5-8 hours a day for most of the week is pretty hardcore.

noises, the sounds, the chattering, the smells, trying to learn in that environment is really hard. So to come home and not get a break would make me want to run away from home or hurt people who didn't understand enough to just leave me alone for a couple of hours while my brain had time to decompress... and yes it literally takes a couple of hours after that much stimulation. As an adult, I still can't do that environment. Going around stuff with that much stimulation is really hard on me, and it's not an anxiety response, it just makes my head hurt - I get migraines from that much sensory input. So, if sensory stuff building up manifests in a pain response, it would make him probably lash out if he can't explain it logically to you or others...and people don't realize that sensory stuff is "real" that way.

Does he have a pet? if he likes animals, maybe having a pet would be helpful





Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

AspieAuntie
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:58 PM

That's a good point. He loves watching TV shows like Leverage and Once Upon a Time and both are shows we watch as a family, but I've noticed that he has trouble falling asleep afterwards. Perhaps those should be reserved for the weekend, since my parents are unable to watch them any earlier than 7 or 7:30. I will talk to him and see what he thinks. I'm hesitant to allow him to play video games just before bed because they always get him "worked up." Not anxious, but excited and talkative and I'm afraid he would have trouble sleeping right afterwards. Perhaps he could have the option of having one of us read him a story or he could do another quiet activity (drawing, building with legos, etc.). Again, thank you for your input. I feel a lot less helpless and overwhelmed when I am armed with information and advice :)

Quoting kajira:

I would almost suggest doing family time earlier before bed.... maybe if you do dinner as a family, count that as family time and practice conversations at the tableand hang out.

Let him have some say in his schedule, if he doesn't want to watch tv, give him the option to do something he wants to do... i know that having scheduled, family sit down time together is nice, but I find TV overstimulating, I dislike watching TV it drives me insane and I'll fidget and stim if I have to just sit there watching it.

I used to read a book while the TV was on to tune out the TV because it hurts my brain... so make sure watching TV is something he wants to do or it might not be relaxing like it is for you. LOL

Quoting AspieAuntie:

Yes we have a cat and she is just perfect for him. She is very mellow, not at all agressive, and she allows him to invade her space in a way that would infuriate most cats. We try to teach him to give her just a little more room (we're afraid if he gets used to smothering cats then he will encounter a cat who refuses to be crowded and scratch him) but over all we let her tell him when she's had enough (she just gets up and walks away).

I've come up with a tentative plan that I'd like to run by you and the other mom's. I'm planning on giving him these options and allowing him to rearrange them to fit his needs but this is the basic schedule I have in mind:

1 hour of video game time after school

Homework time with one minigame break where ever he thinks he needs it

And after he's done his chores (homework, reading, and showering) he can have another half hour (maybe a full hour depending on time?) of video games as a reward for finishing everything with a good attitude.

All of this would be with the stipulation that video games must be turned off by 8 pm so that we can read a book or watch TV as a family before bed. Does that sound reasonable?

Quoting kajira:

wow, he does a lot - no wonder he's having a hard time.

A lot of people think that kids need all this "stuff" constantly, and that's the one thing I promised myself as a parent is I wouldn't make my kids be so "busy" if they weren't wired to want it that way.

I think people think kids need to be kept busy constantly and one of the highlights of my life as a kid was just coming home and doing nothing for a few hours. School was more then enough for me, add in all the extra stuff and it was just too much.

Some kids don't find school stressful, some people don't find work stressful, but for the kids/people who do, it's a similar concept, you need to reward yourself for doing well.

Unlike a job where you make money and that's the reward, school isn't rewarding for most people, so the reward needs to come after it, and from home... getting paid in video game time for going to school and what not is a good way to be paid... If a kid LIKES all the hobbies and activities, they are a different kind of a kid than someone who gets overstimulated and needs downtime after stimulation.

School is one of the most stimulating places and to be there for 5-8 hours a day for most of the week is pretty hardcore.

noises, the sounds, the chattering, the smells, trying to learn in that environment is really hard. So to come home and not get a break would make me want to run away from home or hurt people who didn't understand enough to just leave me alone for a couple of hours while my brain had time to decompress... and yes it literally takes a couple of hours after that much stimulation. As an adult, I still can't do that environment. Going around stuff with that much stimulation is really hard on me, and it's not an anxiety response, it just makes my head hurt - I get migraines from that much sensory input. So, if sensory stuff building up manifests in a pain response, it would make him probably lash out if he can't explain it logically to you or others...and people don't realize that sensory stuff is "real" that way.

Does he have a pet? if he likes animals, maybe having a pet would be helpful






kajira
by Emma on Jan. 16, 2013 at 1:08 PM

I would definitely do something less stimulating if it rev's him up... and video games for me used to rev me up - they don't anymore as an adult, but i'm old and like my sleep now. :P (okay, i'm not that old haha but 2 kids later and I'm tired these days.) 

Reading a book in a structured way may be a good solution, my husband used to read to me when I was younger to help me fall asleep if I had trouble unwinding - granted the books we read were boring and put me to sleep... if i'm "interested" in the story, it doesn't work - the nice sound of a soothing voice would help relax me, but there can't be any excitement to the story or it has the opposite effect.

He used to read hemingway and really long tedius science fiction that rambles on for 20 pages about the hull of a ship. 

It's kind of embarassing to admit that I still like having someone read to me.... LOL I found reading stories I liked to myself made me have trouble falling asleep because if I like the story I had a hard time putting the book away.

Repetitious, calm activities really help me fall asleep faster especially if it's boring.

Quoting AspieAuntie:

That's a good point. He loves watching TV shows like Leverage and Once Upon a Time and both are shows we watch as a family, but I've noticed that he has trouble falling asleep afterwards. Perhaps those should be reserved for the weekend, since my parents are unable to watch them any earlier than 7 or 7:30. I will talk to him and see what he thinks. I'm hesitant to allow him to play video games just before bed because they always get him "worked up." Not anxious, but excited and talkative and I'm afraid he would have trouble sleeping right afterwards. Perhaps he could have the option of having one of us read him a story or he could do another quiet activity (drawing, building with legos, etc.). Again, thank you for your input. I feel a lot less helpless and overwhelmed when I am armed with information and advice :)

Quoting kajira:

I would almost suggest doing family time earlier before bed.... maybe if you do dinner as a family, count that as family time and practice conversations at the tableand hang out.

Let him have some say in his schedule, if he doesn't want to watch tv, give him the option to do something he wants to do... i know that having scheduled, family sit down time together is nice, but I find TV overstimulating, I dislike watching TV it drives me insane and I'll fidget and stim if I have to just sit there watching it.

I used to read a book while the TV was on to tune out the TV because it hurts my brain... so make sure watching TV is something he wants to do or it might not be relaxing like it is for you. LOL

Quoting AspieAuntie:

Yes we have a cat and she is just perfect for him. She is very mellow, not at all agressive, and she allows him to invade her space in a way that would infuriate most cats. We try to teach him to give her just a little more room (we're afraid if he gets used to smothering cats then he will encounter a cat who refuses to be crowded and scratch him) but over all we let her tell him when she's had enough (she just gets up and walks away).

I've come up with a tentative plan that I'd like to run by you and the other mom's. I'm planning on giving him these options and allowing him to rearrange them to fit his needs but this is the basic schedule I have in mind:

1 hour of video game time after school

Homework time with one minigame break where ever he thinks he needs it

And after he's done his chores (homework, reading, and showering) he can have another half hour (maybe a full hour depending on time?) of video games as a reward for finishing everything with a good attitude.

All of this would be with the stipulation that video games must be turned off by 8 pm so that we can read a book or watch TV as a family before bed. Does that sound reasonable?

Quoting kajira:

wow, he does a lot - no wonder he's having a hard time.

A lot of people think that kids need all this "stuff" constantly, and that's the one thing I promised myself as a parent is I wouldn't make my kids be so "busy" if they weren't wired to want it that way.

I think people think kids need to be kept busy constantly and one of the highlights of my life as a kid was just coming home and doing nothing for a few hours. School was more then enough for me, add in all the extra stuff and it was just too much.

Some kids don't find school stressful, some people don't find work stressful, but for the kids/people who do, it's a similar concept, you need to reward yourself for doing well.

Unlike a job where you make money and that's the reward, school isn't rewarding for most people, so the reward needs to come after it, and from home... getting paid in video game time for going to school and what not is a good way to be paid... If a kid LIKES all the hobbies and activities, they are a different kind of a kid than someone who gets overstimulated and needs downtime after stimulation.

School is one of the most stimulating places and to be there for 5-8 hours a day for most of the week is pretty hardcore.

noises, the sounds, the chattering, the smells, trying to learn in that environment is really hard. So to come home and not get a break would make me want to run away from home or hurt people who didn't understand enough to just leave me alone for a couple of hours while my brain had time to decompress... and yes it literally takes a couple of hours after that much stimulation. As an adult, I still can't do that environment. Going around stuff with that much stimulation is really hard on me, and it's not an anxiety response, it just makes my head hurt - I get migraines from that much sensory input. So, if sensory stuff building up manifests in a pain response, it would make him probably lash out if he can't explain it logically to you or others...and people don't realize that sensory stuff is "real" that way.

Does he have a pet? if he likes animals, maybe having a pet would be helpful







Living with Autism - The quirky kitty.

Our autistic Family - A Dad's point of view on living with Autism

jeda1429
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 2:44 PM

i would definitley share what he told you with the people at his school. If the other children are not making him feel accepted and he is being made to just let it go then there is a problem there. I would talk to him and the teachers and see how they feel about possibly putting a program in place to educate the other students about autism. I know my son is having a much easier time ( he is eleven) since he has learned more about his autism and is able to advocate for himself. He can tell the kids " Sometimes I act different because I have autism, but that's just who I am." I have found that the other kids become curious at that point and want to know more about it. he needs to know that it is okay to stand up for yourself when someone is unkind as long as you do it in a respectful manner. You could try role playing what to do in a situation where someone hurts your feelings.

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