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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Got some comments on my "chaotic" life

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:55 AM
  • 5 Replies

I got an email last night that was meant to be encouraging, I think, but left me in tears.  I have a feeling that you all would probably understand. 

 My husband and I are in a very demanding program (school, ministry practicum, internship type thing) and that schedule in itself is a lot to handle.  During the first year of this program, we found out that our (now middle) child is ASD.  That same week, we found out we were expecting our third child.  We got our son into ST, OT, and are about to start PT for low tone and a hip issue.  Our oldest child has some sensory issues, and was acting out at school, so we've been doing play therapy and OT for her as well.  And our third child is almost 2 months old.  So yeah, our life is pretty hectic, but I wouldn't call it chaotic.  That implies that we can't handle it.  We're both making excellent grades, I'm at the top of my class, and we're functioning pretty well as a family.  The issue was, this past week, we all got the flu.  So we missed some days of school, and I get this email from an instructor saying that she hopes that my chaotic life will settle down soon. 

I realize it was probably just a poor choice of words, but it stung.  Until we finish this program, our life will be like this, and there is nothing to be done about it. And even when we finish, our lives will still be hectic, because our profession will keep us busy, and we will still have three kids, and one of those kids will still be ASD.  But I think we're handling it just fine.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:55 AM
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dawncs
by Dawn on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:06 AM

I hope you and your family feels better soon from the flu. It is such a blessing a wonderful couple such as yoruselves are going into the ministry because you will have a lot to offer your church in perspective when you preach. You have to remember not all people have experience with having a disability unless they become disabled or a close family member does. Just remember that all of your hard work and studying will pay off in the end with your own ministry. My maternal grandparents were ministers with the Salvation Army. I respect those going into the ministry profession.

Dawn
Beautifully Talanted Autistic Social Story Author
Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
Diagnosed Edema (since young)
Author Page: http://www.toyboxunlimited.com/ (has discounts)

VioletsMomTown
by Robyn on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:18 AM

That was them putting their opinion onto your situation. Most people look at families with autism and think they couldn't do it. That's why we were chosen to be these kids' parents, because we are able to handle it. Truthfully I think we don't realize what we're capable of until we are put into challenging situations, some days can seem chaotic, but end of day its our life and we've learned to make the best of it, and even love it. Without rain there would be no rainbows!

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM

i understand what you are saying. yeah, she/he was projecting what it would be for them in your shoes.

college instructors (i have the personality of a college instructor and my hubby is one lol) -- we can't walk and chew gum at the same time, so, i think it was just she/he imagining what it would be like for him.

 

And the college instructor is probably right -- he can't / wouldn't be able to handle it -- but you can! Whoo-hoo for you!

 

My aunt had a baby at 16, went to college, graduated, her husband was a taxi driver while getting his phD, then she worked had two more kids and got her masters and phD along the way. Someone would need to dig my grave right now before i even attempted to do something like that.

 

I go crazy just trying to keep my house in order and take care of my ONE kid LOL

Bluerose1482
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM

I didn't read her whole e-mail, so I can't say for sure but perhaps she meant that your life was chaotic while you had the flu and not that it was normally chaotic.  I hope you are feeling better soon and wish you the best in school. 

kjlmommy
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:54 AM

Bluerose, thanks, that's a good point.  I think I was being overly emotional because of some backstory, and being sick, and all of that.

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