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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Aspergers parents: to tell or not to tell.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:46 PM
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Four part question: 1) Did you tell your child about their diagnosis? 2) If so, how old was he/she? 3) How did you tell him/her? And 4) what was his/her reaction?
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:46 PM
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philipmommy4834
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:44 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmrR4UgKFyA Here is advice from Dr. Stephen Shore on this topic.
philipmommy4834
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:44 PM

not sure why its not clickable but if you google dr stephen shore and telling your child their autistic you will find it

Sharbear42371
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:01 PM

BUMP!

Bluerose1482
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:02 PM
3 moms liked this

My son is 9 now.  He has known since we first discussed the idea that he was on the spectrum with a psychologist when he was 6.  The dr. told me that he was certain that ds was on the spectrum and that his diagnosis would likely be Asperger's, but we decided against a formal diagnosis at that time.  About 18 months later, we did seek a diagnosis, from a different psychologist, and ds was disgnosed with Asperger Syndrome.

I don't think that it was a terrible shock to him that he is different from other kids.  He was well aware of it since he started preschool.  I think, if anything, it was helpful for him to have a reaon.  I feel like it made him more comfortable in his own skin--almost like it gave him permission to be the person that he is.  There was no doubt in my mind that telling him was right for him.

ThreeSweetPs
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:53 AM
Thank you so much! I was able to copy and paste and watch the video. It was very helpful.


Quoting philipmommy4834:

not sure why its not clickable but if you google dr stephen shore and telling your child their autistic you will find it


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ThreeSweetPs
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Thanks Bluerose! This is very helpful. I have ordered a few books I found online to help us all with this process. We don't have a diagnosis yet, but it is likely to come and I want to be prepared.


Quoting Bluerose1482:

My son is 9 now.  He has known since we first discussed the idea that he was on the spectrum with a psychologist when he was 6.  The dr. told me that he was certain that ds was on the spectrum and that his diagnosis would likely be Asperger's, but we decided against a formal diagnosis at that time.  About 18 months later, we did seek a diagnosis, from a different psychologist, and ds was disgnosed with Asperger Syndrome.


I don't think that it was a terrible shock to him that he is different from other kids.  He was well aware of it since he started preschool.  I think, if anything, it was helpful for him to have a reaon.  I feel like it made him more comfortable in his own skin--almost like it gave him permission to be the person that he is.  There was no doubt in my mind that telling him was right for him.


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ThreeSweetPs
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:05 AM
Have any of you read "Understanding Sam", "Can I Tell You About Aspergers Syndrome" or "The Best Kind of Different"? I'm hoping they will be helpful to our family.
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MommaHubbard
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:56 AM
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My son is 5 yrs old and already recognizes that he is a little different than other people. He has started going to an ABA Therapy Center and I asked him what he though of it. He said, "It's just so nice to talk to normal people like me." So, the good news is that at this age, he thinks there's just something wrong with everyone else. I actually like this idea. But, eventually, I think eventually, I have to explain to him, that there's nothing wrong with him, or anyone else, that he just thinks a little different than some other people. He is very intelligent but this feels like such a complex thing to explain-especially since adults, doctors and scientists don't even really fully understand it. My son is never satisfied with an incomplete answer and really, that's all I will have to give him. simple frownBut, thank you for sharing the link and the books. I probably need to do this soon too....

wintersdaughter
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:04 AM
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My ds is 5, and I have no idea how to tell him, or if it will even mean anything to him if I do tell.
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Bluerose1482
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:24 AM
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I haven't read any of those books.  I hope you find them helpful.

I also wanted to add that when we talk about it, we just say Autism or Asperger's.  I never tack the disorder on to the end.  I feel like disorder and syndrome both have negative connotations.  I began by telling him about the dr. who had several patients who were different from most children, but similar to each other.  I read  what that dr. observed about those children to him, and I found an online checklist and read that to him.  He agreed that it did sound like him.  We talked about seeking a diagnosis, and he wanted to.    


Quoting ThreeSweetPs:

Have any of you read "Understanding Sam", "Can I Tell You About Aspergers Syndrome" or "The Best Kind of Different"? I'm hoping they will be helpful to our family.


 

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