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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

Aspergers parents: to tell or not to tell.

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Four part question: 1) Did you tell your child about their diagnosis? 2) If so, how old was he/she? 3) How did you tell him/her? And 4) what was his/her reaction?
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
ThreeSweetPs
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:40 AM
I like your style. :)


Quoting Bluerose1482:

I haven't read any of those books.  I hope you find them helpful.


I also wanted to add that when we talk about it, we just say Autism or Asperger's.  I never tack the disorder on to the end.  I feel like disorder and syndrome both have negative connotations.  I began by telling him about the dr. who had several patients who were different from most children, but similar to each other.  I read  what that dr. observed about those children to him, and I found an online checklist and read that to him.  He agreed that it did sound like him.  We talked about seeking a diagnosis, and he wanted to.    




Quoting ThreeSweetPs:

Have any of you read "Understanding Sam", "Can I Tell You About Aspergers Syndrome" or "The Best Kind of Different"? I'm hoping they will be helpful to our family.



 


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ThreeSweetPs
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:45 AM
Wintersdaughter, thanks for your honesty. The books I mentioned have all gotten great reviews, which is why I ordered them. Of course, they are reviewed by the general population so I hope to get more feedback from parents, specifically, of children with Aspergers. I'm just mentioning it because maybe it is a place to start. That's what I'm probably going to try anyway. I wish you all the best.


Quoting wintersdaughter:

My ds is 5, and I have no idea how to tell him, or if it will even mean anything to him if I do tell.

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ThreeSweetPs
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Thank you for sharing! My son also thinks along very similar lines when it comes to other people... And I kind of like it too. :)


Quoting MommaHubbard:

My son is 5 yrs old and already recognizes that he is a little different than other people. He has started going to an ABA Therapy Center and I asked him what he though of it. He said, "It's just so nice to talk to normal people like me." So, the good news is that at this age, he thinks there's just something wrong with everyone else. I actually like this idea. But, eventually, I think eventually, I have to explain to him, that there's nothing wrong with him, or anyone else, that he just thinks a little different than some other people. He is very intelligent but this feels like such a complex thing to explain-especially since adults, doctors and scientists don't even really fully understand it. My son is never satisfied with an incomplete answer and really, that's all I will have to give him. simple frownBut, thank you for sharing the link and the books. I probably need to do this soon too....


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Bluerose1482
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

I told my son that Asperger's was a name that we use to describe people who are different than most people but similar to each other.  Sort of like "Blondes" or "Football player".  I told him that there was no cause and that he is the person he is, and he has every right to *be* himself.  And that Asperger's or Aspie for short is just a description because he's not alone and there are lots of other people who are like him.   

I think he asked me once, why he was different, and I told him that there was no cause (which is what I believe) that it is just the way he is.  Just like why his sister likes apples and he doesn't.  Nothing caused it.  They are just different and that's ok. 


Quoting MommaHubbard:

My son is 5 yrs old and already recognizes that he is a little different than other people. He has started going to an ABA Therapy Center and I asked him what he though of it. He said, "It's just so nice to talk to normal people like me." So, the good news is that at this age, he thinks there's just something wrong with everyone else. I actually like this idea. But, eventually, I think eventually, I have to explain to him, that there's nothing wrong with him, or anyone else, that he just thinks a little different than some other people. He is very intelligent but this feels like such a complex thing to explain-especially since adults, doctors and scientists don't even really fully understand it. My son is never satisfied with an incomplete answer and really, that's all I will have to give him. simple frownBut, thank you for sharing the link and the books. I probably need to do this soon too....


 

Bluerose1482
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:07 AM

 Thanks.

Telling him about Dr. Asperger mades it easy  because then you just tack patient on to the end....Asperger's Patients or Aspie for short....


Quoting ThreeSweetPs:

I like your style. :)


Quoting Bluerose1482:

I haven't read any of those books.  I hope you find them helpful.


I also wanted to add that when we talk about it, we just say Autism or Asperger's.  I never tack the disorder on to the end.  I feel like disorder and syndrome both have negative connotations.  I began by telling him about the dr. who had several patients who were different from most children, but similar to each other.  I read  what that dr. observed about those children to him, and I found an online checklist and read that to him.  He agreed that it did sound like him.  We talked about seeking a diagnosis, and he wanted to.    


 


Quoting ThreeSweetPs:

Have any of you read "Understanding Sam", "Can I Tell You About Aspergers Syndrome" or "The Best Kind of Different"? I'm hoping they will be helpful to our family.

 


 



 

Hottubgodess
by Jackie on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:42 PM

He is 9 and we discuss more of the challenges he has.  Not the name to it.  

emarin77
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:15 PM

My son's psychologist wrote a book for children with Autism.  My son is 4.5 and I have read it to him.  He sees similer behaviors in the characters that he has too. 

angelynn824
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:34 PM

I would be interested the name of the book. My 8 yr old currently has an Autism diagnosis, which I believe in time will change to Aspergers. He just seems to fit those characteristics more. The kids his class have asked me what's wrong with him, and I told them nothing. He has Autism he is different, but there's nothing wrong with him. I would love to have a book for the teachers to read to class. My son knows he is different, but he doesn't feel out of place among his peers. I believe it's because of his close relationships with his brothers non ASD.

Quoting emarin77:

My son's psychologist wrote a book for children with Autism.  My son is 4.5 and I have read it to him.  He sees similer behaviors in the characters that he has too. 


MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:37 PM

 


Quoting MommaHubbard:

My son is 5 yrs old and already recognizes that he is a little different than other people. He has started going to an ABA Therapy Center and I asked him what he though of it. He said, "It's just so nice to talk to normal people like me." So, the good news is that at this age, he thinks there's just something wrong with everyone else. I actually like this idea. But, eventually, I think eventually, I have to explain to him, that there's nothing wrong with him, or anyone else, that he just thinks a little different than some other people. He is very intelligent but this feels like such a complex thing to explain-especially since adults, doctors and scientists don't even really fully understand it. My son is never satisfied with an incomplete answer and really, that's all I will have to give him. simple frownBut, thank you for sharing the link and the books. I probably need to do this soon too....


 its really nothing to be sad about. i mean, it is different. and that means a lot more effort on our part and a lot more effort on their part than their NT peers but ... i think it will be okay. :)

 

MomOfOneCoolKid
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:38 PM

 


Quoting angelynn824:

I would be interested the name of the book. My 8 yr old currently has an Autism diagnosis, which I believe in time will change to Aspergers. He just seems to fit those characteristics more. The kids his class have asked me what's wrong with him, and I told them nothing. He has Autism he is different, but there's nothing wrong with him. I would love to have a book for the teachers to read to class. My son knows he is different, but he doesn't feel out of place among his peers. I believe it's because of his close relationships with his brothers non ASD.

Quoting emarin77:

My son's psychologist wrote a book for children with Autism.  My son is 4.5 and I have read it to him.  He sees similer behaviors in the characters that he has too. 



 me too. my son is also 4 yrs old.

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