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Autism - Support Across the Spectrum Autism - Support Across the Spectrum

need some direction to get help for my son, he wants to drop out...

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:30 AM
  • 73 Replies
My 13yr old son has Aspergers.... He has an IEP and a BIP. However, his teachers place him in the ISS room as much as 4-5 times a week and he is suspended out of school at LEAST twice a month. The usual label for the suspensions are "noncompliance" or "insubordination". We have only lived in this state for 19 months. Until we came here he was an honor roll student. He was in this school last year for 7th grade and only passed because they put him in summer school. So far this year his grades are mainly Fs with Ds. I really hate the idea of him failing and being in this school another year. When asked what his goal for the future is, his answer is "to drop out of school at 16" this breaks my heart. I need help/advice/suggestions please! Thank you!
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommaTLC186
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Bump
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hwifeandmom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:47 AM

It really frustrates me when the schools can see a former Honor Roll student suddenly become a failing student, and they think it must be all the child's fault.  Argh.  Can you homeschool or do an online school?


dawncs
by Dawn on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:53 AM
2 moms liked this

You need to set up a meeting right now with the school regarding rewriting the IEP and BIP. It is your right under federal law (http://www.wrightslaw.com/), and it sounds like he is being punished for his disability at school. This could make him pretty miserable. It does not sound like the school is the right fit for him at all or the academic placement. You do have the right to request a change of placement. You might want to do a consultation with an advocate. You can find an advocate through TheARC (http://www.thearc.org/) and Autism Society (http://www.autism-society.org/). You might also want to check out the database located here http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/ for ideas.

Dawn
Beautifully Talanted Autistic Social Story Author
Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
Diagnosed Edema (since young)
Author Page: http://www.toyboxunlimited.com/ (has discounts)

mommaTLC186
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:59 AM
I know! I have pointed that fact out (and also the fact that he has NEVER been suspended or had a detention or anything until being in this school) until I'm blue in the face. They just stare at me like I'm making up excuses for his behavior. Unfortunately I can't homeschool him right now, though id love to. It breaks my heart to hear him say he wants to drop out and "oh well I'll just work at McDonalds" ... He used to love going to school and showing off his As and Bs. He's also started sagging his pants and following the crowd that is in the ISS room daily. I don't have family but his paternal family now all thinks of him as "the bad kid" and tells me I should put him in a youth home or something since he can't manage to stay in class for a full day without being sent to ISS. His dad hasn't been around for 10yrs but of course his family is blaming me for his behavior. I go up to the school at least once a week with no productive outcomes. I don't know what to do to get help with this. The school is happier to shove him in ISS then do their job. How is he going to be successful while sitting in a room with no windows, 6 desks full of unruly "normal kids" and no schoolwork? Ugh I'm so frustrated
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mommaTLC186
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:02 AM
I've sent out 3 emails in the last 2 months asking that we reevaluate the BIP because obviously what their doing is not working. They email me back saying they will get back to me and then I don't hear from them. I will look into the advocate. Maybe that person can be more effective.......


Quoting dawncs:

You need to set up a meeting right now with the school regarding rewriting the IEP and BIP. It is your right under federal law (http://www.wrightslaw.com/), and it sounds like he is being punished for his disability at school. This could make him pretty miserable. It does not sound like the school is the right fit for him at all or the academic placement. You do have the right to request a change of placement. You might want to do a consultation with an advocate. You can find an advocate through TheARC (http://www.thearc.org/) and Autism Society (http://www.autism-society.org/). You might also want to check out the database located here http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/ for ideas.


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mommaTLC186
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:07 AM
Another thing
....... Last time I was up there at the school because they called me saying he refused to do any work..... I eventually got him to go back to class. Before leaving, the counselor and his teacher said that I should "come sit in all his classes with him for a day or two... Maybe then, he would act right" .. He has a hard enough time as it is, why would I embarrass him by following him around and sitting in his classes? He is in 8th grade! I've sat in his classes when he was younger but .... I can't imagine sitting in on them now.
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Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:07 AM
It sounds like the school has no idea how to deal w his needs. You may need to move him elsewhere. Ok has a huge autism society and also has a autism school from 6 to 12 grade. I'm sorry I would never allow them to stick my son in a room. Alone. Also consider homeschooling.
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Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:09 AM
My autistic son is also on risperidone and helps out in school. Lowers melt Downs he isn't so emotional with it.
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catrig
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:11 AM

Put him in a different school.  Or do online school.  We have our daughter in private school this year.  Next year that isn't a good option so we will be doing on line school.

dawncs
by Dawn on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM

 Have you thought about placing him in a charter school or parochial school? A charter school is a school for free funded by public dollars. He needs to get out of that school placement. It sounds like the school administration does not know much about Asperger's Syndrome. However, it is not surprising because they are probably not certified as Special Education teachers. Mainstream or regular education teachers receive very little training during their college days on Special Education.


Quoting mommaTLC186:

I know! I have pointed that fact out (and also the fact that he has NEVER been suspended or had a detention or anything until being in this school) until I'm blue in the face. They just stare at me like I'm making up excuses for his behavior. Unfortunately I can't homeschool him right now, though id love to. It breaks my heart to hear him say he wants to drop out and "oh well I'll just work at McDonalds" ... He used to love going to school and showing off his As and Bs. He's also started sagging his pants and following the crowd that is in the ISS room daily. I don't have family but his paternal family now all thinks of him as "the bad kid" and tells me I should put him in a youth home or something since he can't manage to stay in class for a full day without being sent to ISS. His dad hasn't been around for 10yrs but of course his family is blaming me for his behavior. I go up to the school at least once a week with no productive outcomes. I don't know what to do to get help with this. The school is happier to shove him in ISS then do their job. How is he going to be successful while sitting in a room with no windows, 6 desks full of unruly "normal kids" and no schoolwork? Ugh I'm so frustrated.

 

Dawn
Beautifully Talanted Autistic Social Story Author
Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
Diagnosed Edema (since young)
Author Page: http://www.toyboxunlimited.com/ (has discounts)

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