So I've typed this up a few times before but I never post it, because I feel guilty asking for help. But I need help. I can't do this on my own anymore. My ex wants me to move back to Oklahoma, not because he wants to see Zach, he's never had any interest in Zach, but because he thinks I'll sleep with him. He's never had any inhterest in Zach at all. Don't get me wrong, he's willing to help out financially as much as possible, but he doesn't want to be around Zach. He doesn't like Zach because Zach isn't "normal."
Right now I'm in Oregon staying with my sister, which isn't helping my stress level at all. My sister no longer pays any bills here, even though it's her place. I pay the rent, the electric bill, the phone, and the internet. I buy 90% off the food because she spends her food stamps on junk food. I even pay for her storage unit because nobody else will even though there are only two small boxes in there that belong to me. I also do all of the household chores at my sister's place. I do all the dishes, the laundry, the vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, all of it. I cook most of the food. She won't even take out the garbage, she'd rather let it pile up. and rot in the kitchen. And, though all of this, she blames ME for things not being clean enough around here. She says if I weren't here the place would be spotless. She really believes that she is the one paying the bills and cleaning the house. She's not even willing to get off her ass in the morning to take her dog outside. Speaking of which, she also doesn't buy food for her dog so I end up buying it because I'm not going to sit around and watch the poor thing starve. She's turning into our mother and she doesn't realize it. That worries me, because now I'm afraid I might be next. My brother is already like our mother: compulsive liar, alcoholic, paranoid, bordering on schizophrenic. And now my sister is following suit. I'm worried the same thing might happen to me when I get to that age. And, of course, the rest of my family is no help at all. They think everything wrong with Zach is my fault. Nobody is willing to help me at all.
This is only the tip of the iceberg of stress in my life. I feel like I'm being crushed and I have nowhere to go. I don't even have people to talk to. I'm so exhausted. Even when I reach out for help my cries fall on deaf ears. I hate being so alone and isolated.