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PDD-NOS 6 yr old son has severe low self esteem

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:21 PM
  • 12 Replies

This has been going on for a while and seemed to have stopped for a few months.  He was upset with me yesterday because I wanted him to try and dry himself after the bath.  He threw a fit and then calmed down and said very sadly "I dont want to be here anymore"  "friends dont like me at school"  "I want to be someone else".  This breaks my heart.  He has appointments with his psychologist this week but I wanted to know if any other mothers have gone through this?

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:21 PM
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by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:24 PM

No momma haven't been through that but can see how heartbreaking it is for you and your son. Kids are cruel in general. But to our children they seem to be worse. I hate that kids feel the need to belittle someone else to make themself look better. I really hope things get better and I think it's great that he will be seeing a psychologist.

by Amy on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Aww, poor little guy.

We haven't dealt with that, but I'd definitely bring it up to both his psychologist and his teacher at school so that they can keep an eye on him. 

by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:24 PM
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Oh, that poor little guy. :(

Are there any peer groups at school? My daughter's school started doing peer groups about 3 years ago, and had a huge positive response from them. In the group, there are children who fall on the spectrum, as well as kids with other problems. They include NT children as well. Each group has a specific goal- helping kids feel better about themselves, and making new friends.

It has helped the NT kids better understand the kids around them, and it helps the Spectrum kids learn how to relate to the NT children.

My daughter has 2 'guardians', as I like to call them. They help her when they think she needs it, they treat her just like any other child, and they have helped her make other friends outside of the group.

She has come a long way in the 3 years she has participated in these groups. She no longer dreads school, or feels as bad about herself. We still have moments, but for the most part, they are pretty few and far between.

by Kari on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:14 PM

School is so hard because there is all the social pressure, and that is one thing our kids can have trouble with...fitting in. I went out of my way when my boy was young to set up play dates with any of the kids he liked from his class. Do you know any moms with kids his age that you guys could have a play date with? It only takes one pal to make things feel better. Also, I would talk to his teacher right away, ask if she has seen any bullying and tell her exactly how he is feeling. There are plenty of things during class that she/he can do to help your son socially. Lastly, start telling him things you love about him. Specific things, write him little notes, when he does something great ask him "aren't you proud of did that so well!" Replace the bad feelings/ideas he is having with alternative feelings of pride and accomplishment.   Good luck, he will find his way. XO

by Jen on Feb. 6, 2013 at 7:39 PM
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I'm sorry. My 15 year old suffers from depression like that. We have a counselor who comes to see him at our house every other week. That has really helped. 

by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Aww, poor kid.
I am not ODD, but I wanted to be someone else. Sign up your guy in something he likes. I found my confidence in dance and French club.

If he has a setting where he shines, and similar interest with other kids, he will be

We tried our ASD son in bball, karate. He likes surfing, motorcycles and dinosaurs.
He was made fun of on the bus, in class, but kids loves how he climbs. They call him Tarzan. We put him in YMCA swimming lessons, he's not atypical in the water. Kids and coaches loved his fearlessness. It brought him out of his shell.
Good luck.
Just keep telling him how wonderful he is.
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by Carissa on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:55 PM

That breaks my heart :(

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:33 PM

My son is an aspie and I just recently sent him to an autism therapy center as an after-school care program (at first). I was trying to evaluate what he though of the place because I was considering putting him in it full-time and I asked him what he thought. He said it was great, no fantastic because that's better than great-no it's awesome! I asked him what was so great about it. He said, "It's just so nice to talk to normal people like me."

I don't know about your son but until medications my son couldn't function in a group. I am hoping that with therapy he won't need as many, or maybe none but that is gonna take some time. This statement that he made about his new school made me realize that this experience (trouble at his old/public school and eventually a dx) has probably been pretty lonely for him, isolating. He has already "tested" his new school. He had a meltdown about having to wait his turn the other day and just told the director during his meltdown that she should just call me and tell me to come and get him because his behavior was too bad. She told him that was never gonna happen. But, that would've happened at his old public school or private after-school care program. I think that has an impact on self-esteem for sure.

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:28 AM
My heart goes out to you... My son has asd and is nearly 11... Since the age of 6 he has been saying how worthless he feels and that he wishes he was dead!!! It truely is heartbreaking having to see the child you love feeling so unloved and worthless that he wants to die!!!
He still gets times when life gets too much ( mainly school) and it all comes to a head ....
But I try and remain positive and continue to show him that he is loved and that he's not worthless .....
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by Darby on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:30 AM

Big hugs mama!  I have no experience with this.  

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